Up Her Butthole
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Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST — Written by Adrienne Santos-Longhurst on September 24, 2019
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Do us a favor and try to do the splits. Go ahead, we’ll wait.
Can’t do it? Most people can’t without a lot of stretching and training first.
Turns out it’s the same for stretching your anus.
Like other muscles, your anal sphincter is only accustomed to stretching so far. If you want to loosen it up, it’s going to require some work.
Your anus is full of sensitive nerve endings that make anal play feel oh so good. And the fun isn’t reserved for folks who have a prostate.
Anal training can make anal penetration of any kind pleasurable. It can also help you work up to larger anal toys and other butt play, like gaping.
What’s gaping? You’ve likely seen it in porn — the close up of a butthole open wide after being penetrated with a big butt plug or penis. That’s gaping, or hashtag HoleGoals.
Like any other sexual activity, it’s generally safe if you take the proper precautions.
The anus isn’t self-lubricating like a vagina, and the tissue is thinner and more sensitive than the rest of your skin. This makes it more prone to tearing and infection, including sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Taking it slow, using lots of lube, and practicing safer sex can help.
If you’re pregnant, have hemorrhoids, or have any other condition that affects your anus or rectum, you may want to check with your doctor before giving anal training a go.
Your sphincter’s number one priority isn’t to accommodate a mammoth butt plug; it’s meant to contract to hold your poop in your rectum and flex to let it out when you’re ready.
It’ll bounce back because that’s its job.
Along with elasticity in your tissues that help them flex and contract, mental relaxation is a big part of anal training.
Anal penetration gets easier because you develop better control, not because you’ve got a big butthole.
The average rectum is roughly 12 centimeters (about 5 inches) long, but you’re better off listening to your body than focusing on that number.
Take fisting, for example. It’s totally possible for your partner to work up to fisting you until they’re elbow deep if that’s something you’re into exploring.
Fingers are a good place to start because you can begin with a pinky and work your way up to five fingers, or even an entire hand or fist. You can also use sex toys.
Anal dilators, also called rectal dilators, are medical devices used to widen the rectum after anorectal surgery to help make passing stool easier.
Dilators — which you can find online — used for pleasure are similar, though the goal is slightly different, obvs.
Their shape is pretty basic — usually smooth and tubular. They’re usually sold in sets of five or more, each increasing roughly a quarter of an inch in size so that you can work your way up.
You’ve gotta love the butt plug and its efficient shape. They generally have narrow tips that gradually widen toward the middle then taper down again.
Their shape makes them easy to insert and helps to keep them comfortably contained in your anus even in the throes of ecstasy.
A flared base prevents them from getting sucked in, sparing you from being one of those Untold Stories of the ER cases that goes viral.
They come in all sorts of lengths and widths, ranging from small (like this one) for anal training amateurs to some pretty intimating monster-sized plugs (like this one) for seasoned pros.
You can also buy butt plug trainer kits online, like this one.
If you like cock and want a sex toy that looks more like the real thing, then dildos are the way to go. They come in just about every length and girth so you can work your way up as you please.
Like a little whimsy with your anal workout? Fantasy dildos are shaped like pretty much everything you wouldn’t normally think of putting up your butt, like dragons, aliens, unicorns, and even a magical hammer (like this one) inspired by the God of Thunder.
Don’t try to be a hero and start big because you can — quite literally — tear yourself a new one.
If this is your first foray into anal play and stretching, starting small is a must even if you think you can handle more.
If we’re talking in fingers, start with a pinky. In toys, something between 0.25 inches to 0.5 inches in diameter is a good place to start.
An anal training kit like this one by VuVatech is perfect for beginners.
Size matters, but here are some other things to consider when choosing toys to stretch your anus.
First, you want to be sure to choose a material that’s body-safe. Look for toys that are phthalate and BPA-free.
Silicone, stainless steel, and borosilicate glass — or Pyrex — are great because they’re nonporous and easy to care for.
Silicone has more give, which might be better for a newbie.
Unless you’ve got carpal tunnel, you don’t need to worry about weight if you’re choosing dilators or dildos.
Butt plugs are another story since they’re meant to remain inside you. You want enough weight for the plug to stay put and not shoot from your butt with a sneeze, but it also needs to be comfortable.
To say you have a lot of options would be an understatement. There are dildos and other anal toys out there with bells and whistles your bum can’t even imagine.
Vibrating, heating, and curved for prostate stimulation are just a few.
You probably don’t need any of these things to stretch your anus, but they sure make a fun reward for all that hard training.
It comes down to your comfort level, but aim to train once or twice a day, at least 5 days a week, for 5 to 10 minutes at a time.
Stick with it for 1 to 2 weeks before moving to the next size up.
If you feel no resistance or discomfort when inserting, then congrats — you’re ready to size up!
If you’re doing it yourself, you’ll want to lie on your side and use your dominant hand, which is the one you write with.
If you’re with a partner, you have a couple of positions to choose from. You can:
Here are a few things to do to get ready for an anal training sesh.
It’s no secret that poop comes out of the anus. Most fecal matter sits higher up in your rectum, but anal play can bring on the urge to poop.
Pooping before play will allow you to go deeper and help you focus on the task at hand.
If there’s too much poop in your rectum, shallow penetration will probably be all you can muster. Using a rectal douche to clean out poop in the lower rectum can help.
They’re easy to use and you can buy one online for just a few bucks.
If you’re planning to go deeper than 3 or 4 inches, you might want to consider an enema to flush any remaining poop from your rectum.
An enema injects liquid deeper into the rectum to completely clear it out.
You can buy enema kits online or in drugstores.
Enemas are safe as long as you only use them occasionally and as directed on the packaging. Be sure to use lube on the tip before insertion.
You need your mind and muscles to be as relaxed as possible to keep your hole from clenching.
Try a hot bath, a massage, or some foreplay to help you get your stretch on.
Apply a liberal amount of lube to your finger or toy, as well as around your anal opening. By liberal I mean basting yourself up like you would a turkey on Thanksgiving.
Not using enough can cause pain and tearing.
Silicone lube, which you can find online, is awesome for anal play because of its thicker consistency and lasting power.
If you’re using a silicone toy, however, you’ll need to use a water-based lube instead because silicone breaks down silicone.
Oil-based lubes generally aren’t recommended because they break down latex, and that’s a major no-no if you’re using condoms or latex gloves on your fingers or toys.
A natural lube, like this one from Passion Lubes, is a good choice for your delicate derriere.
Using a numbing agent increases your chances of going too far too fast and causing potentially serious damage.
Your discomfort will help you gauge when it’s time to stop or move up to the next size.
Plus, the point of anal training is to get your butt accustomed to the sensation of being penetrated.
Once you’re relaxed and greased up, it’s time to get in there.
Slow and steady wins the butt play race. Get ready for insertion by lightly pressing your toy against your hole with minimal pressure.
Thrusting is pushing and pulling your toy in and out over and over, while plugging involves literally plugging your anus with a butt plug and leaving it inside.
Using a circular motion is helpful when it comes to stretching. Whether you add thrusting or plugging into the mix depends on what feels good for you.
Plugging frees up your hands for simultaneous fun, like caressing your erogenous zones, or allows you to train while your partner goes down on you.
Minor discomfort while you get used to the sensation of being penetrated is to be expected. Adjusting the depth or motion, or even just taking a deep breath, should help.
If you’re feeling actual pain — like a severe, sharp, or throbbing pain — then slowly pull out. You can try again in a couple of days with a smaller toy or after being sufficiently relaxed.
If the pain returns, it’s a good idea to see a doctor to find the cause.
A little bit of blood that resolves quickly — think light spotting — probably isn’t a big deal.
See a doctor if there’s a lot of blood, bleeding continues for more than a couple of minutes, or is accompanied by pain.
First, don’t freak out. Everyone has a butt, and everyone poops.
A little poop is to be expected. Wash your hands and toy thoroughly, lube up, and start again.
If you get a bad case of the runs or have an actual bowel movement, then stopping to properly clean yourself up and out is a good idea.
You can always try again once your bowels are empty.
While we’re on the subject of cleaning up, here are some tips for after your stretch sesh.
Sex toys should always be washed after use to avoid transferring bacteria. Most can be washed with warm soap and water, but always check the information included with your toy for any special care instructions.
You’ve earned a nice, relaxing bath after all that hard work — just make sure you take a quick shower first.
This will allow you to wash off any fecal matter or bacteria that’s made its way inside your anus (aka the last thing you want to be soaking in).
Soaking in a warm bath afterward can help you unwind and release tension afterwards.
Add a cup of Epsom salt to help relieve any soreness.
The general rule here is to size up once you’re able to take a toy in without any discomfort or resistance.
By sizing up, we’re talking around a quarter of an inch at a time — not jumping from a pinky to a penis. Ouch!
A few things. Not to scare you, but here’s a rundown of what can happen if you’re not careful.
An anal fissure is a tear in the lining of your anus or your anal canal. Sometimes, you can actually see a crack or tear.
A hemorrhoid is a swollen vein in your anus and lower rectum. They can cause swelling around your anus, along with bleeding, pain, and itching.
Internal hemorrhoids, which develop inside the rectum, can make pooping painful and cause bleeding. Sometimes, an internal hemorrhoid can push through your anal opening, causing even more pain and irritation.
Yep, perforation is possible and it’s as scary as it sounds. Fortunately, it’s also very rare.
There are case reportsTrusted Source of people having their colons perforated after inserting vibrators and foreign bodies — including a zucchini — into the anus.
Anal training can help you master anal play and take it to another level. When done right, you can work your way up to easy and pleasurable anal sex, or take it even further with gaping or fisting, if that’s your bag.
Adrienne Santos-Longhurst is a freelance writer and author who has written extensively on all things health and lifestyle for more than a decade. When she’s not holed-up in her writing shed researching an article or off interviewing health professionals, she can be found frolicking around her beach town with husband and dogs in tow or splashing about the lake trying to master the stand-up paddle board.
Last medically reviewed on September 24, 2019
Healthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We avoid using tertiary references. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.
Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST — Written by Adrienne Santos-Longhurst on September 24, 2019
Medically reviewed by Stacy Sampson, D.O.
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I think the year of 1997 in many ways was the height of the time in my life where I truly fell in love with music. It was the period before the next one where I was being shaped into a complete music nerd. And this was very much due to growing up in a home with cable TV, because with cable TV came MTV. I didn't watch many TV-shows when I was little, didn't watch too much cartoons and kid stuff like that. My television time was usually spent watching music videos on MTV. Most of the videos that dominated during the daytime were by pop and rock artists/bands of course. While the more "alternative" videos seemed to be reserved for niche shows that often aired late in the evening when a kid like me had gone to bed, from what I remember. Many of them didn't grab the attention of my undeveloped taste at the time either. However, some artists/videos outside of the pop/rock-norm definitely DID intrigue me. Among them there were some rappers (who would have the biggest impact on me in the long run), and there were some electronic acts as well - like a certain French house duo for instance. So even if I wasn't exactly a "fan" at the time, Daft Punk's Homework was still influencing me from the moment its singles started to drop. Because it wasn't until seven or eight years after its release that I bought this album, and was finally exposed to this gamechanger in its entire beauty.
So my very first meeting with Daft Punk was the music video for "Da Funk". And I remember being confused. It looked like a episode from some TV-show, and unlike today, seeing something like that on MTV would make you go "WTF?" Some guy with a broken leg and a huge dog mask, walking around on a crutch and a boombox in his other hand, talking to people. My English wasn't too good at the time, so I couldn't follow the conversations entirely, but I understood enough to feel sorry for the "dog" and everything he went through. All the while I was waiting for the music video to really start - but it never did. The only music we heard was coming from his boombox, usually just going on in the background. And that music was some weird shit unlike anything I'd heard before. But at the same time, there was something exciting and catchy about it. And that was part of the reason why I always hoped to catch that video when I was watching MTV. That didn't happened very often, though, because this one was never among the videos they played at least once an hour. Today, that Spike Jonze directed video would probably crack my all time top 20 list of favorite music videos. And the song? It truly earns its name - because this might just be the most funky piece of music ever created. The leading synth-riffs are incredible of course, but every single one of the other elements around them as well, down to the different hi-hat rhythms, just screams irresistable FUNK (yes, in all caps) in the way that'll give you that grump face while being forced to move your body. The second single "Around the World" is also funky, though not in the downright dirty way of "Da Funk". This one leans more towards the slick sounds of classic disco, and again it was accompanied by a video that instantly stood out from everything else. But it still didn't make sense to me that the makers of these songs and videos, whoever these faceless persons were, called themselves Daft Punk. I mean, this was not at all punk music!
It's clear that those two lead-singles were carefully picked as the ones to sell the album. It's the two most accessible and melodic tracks to be found here. "Around the World" is also the only one with a vocal hook, introducing the vocoder that would later become Daft Punk's biggest trademark. Many of the other tunes take a bit more stripped down and prominently loop-based approach - giving the samples, the drums and all the other sounds heavy filter-effects. "Revolution 909" and "Indo Silver Club" are two of the best examples of this. Other times they show a genius way with simplicity, like on "Phoenix"; that build-up at the start sounds almost ridiculously amateurish, but as the song really gets going it proves to be one of the most groovy moments of the album. While they also take their fundamental house elements into unconventional and experimental directions on some of the tracks: On "Burnin'" you kinda feel like you're at your regular discotheque, except if you go outside for some air, you'll find out that it's actually taking place in outer space. And "Fresh" is the feeling of relaxing on a quiet sunny beach, when hallucinations of both a person jerking off his electric guitar and a DJ spinning a house record, passes by for a few minutes. But the one who stands out the most among the 'alternative' songs is "Rollin' & Scratchin'". Like the title indicates, this one rolls in like a giant train of distorted and hammering noise that wrecks anything that comes in its way. But at the same time you feel like climbing on top of one of the wagons, and just dance along with the rhythm the train rolls by. No, this mystic duo didn't play the punk music I expected from their name, when I was a kid, but a song like this shows that they still had punk attitude in them.
By and large, they used to be considered little more than late 90s/early 00s nostalgia by the few who even cared, at a point. But thanks to their massive Alive 2006-2007 tour, Daft Punk suddenly became mainstream favorites loved by "everybody". And with that, many purist electronic heads have (of course) felt the need to downplay their influence and role as innovators. Now, these people probably know much more about this kind of music than me. But from everything I've heard that came out before Homework - or even the songs they released themselves during the years before, but didn't put on the album - nothing sounds quite like the distinct style of house music these Frenchmen presented at the time. But I have for damn sure heard A LOT of music that has come out afterwards - in other genres, as well - that has followed the blueprint of most of these tunes. Putting aside the debate of who
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