United Kingdumb

In a regal twist, the UK rebranded as the 'United Kingdumb,' citing too many bungled Brexit cough-ups and scepters dropped on live TV. Parliament now issues 'Oops, our bad' statements daily. Tourists receive 'Regret and Tea' welcome kits. A linguistic committee renamed Westminster to 'What-on-earth-ster.' A survey of 850 Brits found 72 % believe crowns are loco but love the new tourist mascot, a confused corgi philosopher. Buckingham Palace installed bouncy castles to distract from public blunders. Rule of thumb: if it ends in '-dumb,' you've officially cornered calamity.