Uneasy and Puzzled, Student Politicism 'Testing the Bottom Line', Wong Yat-chin: Imprisonment is my Atonement

In one whole year after the National Security Law (NSL) took effect the civilian society slipped into a panic state with political figures continually got arrested or left Hong Kong while political parties and organizations got disbanded. Among this misery, Student Politicism (SP) was established in May 2020 when the National Congress was about to pass the NSL bill. Within only one year WONG Yat-chin, the convenor, was already arrested for four times - the latest two within only a week in June. SP suddenly becomes one of the “most upfront” political organizations.

 “I wish to reiterate that I don’t feel like standing in the front”. Wong admits that he is “very afraid of being jailed even at this moment”. Therefore he is not “brave” but “cowardly”. He views his persistence in setting up street stands is only a very “leftist” act which he disgusts. “The whole thing is like ‘talk-sh*t’. How many will be patient enough to listen to you for 10 minutes and say they will follow you?” They even thought of disbanding during summer this year. Their spokesperson WONG Yuen-lam, one of the only three named members of the organization, describes that she constantly thinks of “retreat, especially at times I feel I will not make it.”

They envisage a high chance of being arrested again on 1st of July, so if they decide to retreat it would be ‘about time’. However they still remain. In the eyes of many, they seem to be the “hard-cored youth with boiling blood”. In fact it is a choice they make after one whole year of struggle, unrest and feeling lost.

“I have to atone”, said Wong

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On the day of interview, right after Wong arrives he asks the reporter “Would the interview really need two hours? I have a lot to do…”

“I have a lot to do” is Wong’s catchphrase. He says he didn’t sleep till 7am that morning because the thought of “having a lot to do” kept him up all night. Wong counts on the things he needs done: preparing material for the street stands, arranging ‘comrade’ street market, creating new activities, etc. Then he cannot help from adding “there are so many to do, I simply don’t have enough time!”

Seriously there is not much time left for Wong, he predicts that July 1st is another “deadline” especially when the police recently invented “preventive arrests” – arresting folks who may “stir up” matters before things happen.

From Wong’s appearance it is very hard to tell he is this type of “dangerous individual”. He takes a Korean style hair-cut wearing one silver loop earring. Aged only 19, Wong seems like a “Millennial fashion kid”. During secondary school he was a sunshine boy full of activities. Being head of Student Union, house committee member and chairman of class at the same time, Wong was also player of fencing, basketball and athletics school teams. Wong says he had “f*cking lots of dreams”, one of them is opening up a boys’ boutique, low priced but plenty of choices, “because apparels for boys, apart from GU, Uniqlo and H&M, all others are f*cking expensive compared to girls (wear).”

Wong was a “new immigrant” from Si-Chuan [a province in China] during his primary school days. He says once he felt Hong Kong as “nothing special”. At most he felt he was accepted. “When I first arrived, I did not feel any bully. My company embraced me when I could not even speak Cantonese“. Furthermore there were a lot of tiny little things like “One would say ‘thank you’ when another opens the door. This will not happen in the mainland.” All these formed his impression on Hong Kong.

Not until June 2019.

Wong says he never paid attention to politics until the Anti-Extradition-Law-Amendment-Bill (Anti-ELAB) movement. Commonly described as a “Hong Kong Pig”, he knew nothing about district or legislative councilors. “I was one of those who only learned about the event around 6th and 7th of June.” He became one of the million taking to the streets on 9th of June. Two days later he pushed to boycott classes in his school. This “leftist” way of protest, was the only thing that he, being a Form 5 student, could do.”Well since no one bothered to do so, I did it.”

“I always liked to organize activities and prepare things for events.” His intention might be simple or even impulsive since he was only 17. However since then, like many other Hongkongers, he was pushed ahead by the current of times. Two years went by and he becomes the convener of a lonely surviving political organization. Now he doesn’t have time to shop for shoes and relies on his girl friend or donation from friends. He has no more time for reunions, bush walking or ball games.

“Now I have lost myself”, Wong kind of joked.

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On the other hand, Wong Yuen-lam, 19 years old, spokesperson of SP, has a completely different style compared to Wong, the convener. Yuen-lam appears more casual and plain in her T-shirt and short pants. She tends to speak more slowly, opposite to Wong who speaks like a machine gun. However, similar to Wong, Yuen-lam never expected she would be pushed to the “most fore-front”.

She recalls after sitting for DSE [Diploma of Secondary Education] last year, “I was thinking about becoming a councillor assistant.” However by accident she took notice of a hiring post from SP on social media. She signed up without hesitation. “Wong? I truly did not know him before.”

During the job interview she also expressed that “I won’t be in HK for long” because her original goal was to “wander overseas and become a volunteer for children welfare”. The position she applied for at SP was “English translator” and “I never thought of growing into a position with crucial responsibilities.”

“My attitude back then was like joining a student union committee, not even a University type but just a secondary school. Not much preparation.”

It turns out her dream of “wandering overseas” has not come true when she became the spokesperson of SP. In Dec 2020, SP received a warning notice from the National Security section of the police force. SP held a press conference and Yuen-lam naturally became the English spokesperson. She then tasted the feeling of being arrested for a few times, in her most recent arrest she was detained for over 30 hours. She was also placed under a disciplinary hearing by the Polytechnic University (PolyU) because as the Secretary for External Affairs of the PolyU Student Union, she publicly handed out postcards of “Siege of PolyU”. Since then she became one of the focal points in news. “This is it under the current environment.”

 “I live in hall [university dormitory]. Earlier on I visited home during New Year. The exact following time I was escorted home under CID (Criminal Investigation Department, Hong Kong Police) arrest. It was extremely embarrassing.”

On the day of interview Yuen-lam didn’t have time to tidy up her hair-style and her eyes looked sleepy. She spent her summer holiday working as an assistant nurse, full time in night shifts of 12.5 hours, saving up in order to move out of her home. She hurries to the interview right after she woke up in the morning.

Therefore instead of saying Wong and Yuen-lam are “selected” by the era, they are “pushed forward (to the front-line)”.

“Not that we stuck out our heads…I don’t think I am particularly brave or strong… It may just be people beside us have stepped back,” says Wong.

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In the beginning of this year (2021) we interviewed Yuen-lam, Wong and CHU Wai-ying, the then spokesperson. They pointed out their existence was to “test the red-line” and will not retreat. After six months Chu has backed out and joined “Local Youth Will”, a new organization. Looking back, Wong and Yuen-lam feel doubtful whether they can still be that firm.

They are exhausted.

In the past two months, Wong sat for DSE again, during this period he was “indulgent” while the organization seems to have partially stopped and “nothing was done”. All members and volunteers did not take up tasks. When he returned in June, “I told one of the members that I don’t want to carry on. I’m really tired and have no shoulder to lean on. I have enormous pressure.”

On the other hand, Yuen-lam, accidentally becoming the most fore-front member of SP, has yet to get used to her heavy responsibilities. She juggles among different roles including the spokesperson of SP, Secretary for External Affairs of university’s Student Union plus her night-shift full-time job. “I cannot concentrate on my full time job, cannot live like a common student and am not really successful being a protester either.”

 “With a heavy load on my shoulders I feel, however, I am letting this responsibility down.”

She describes herself as being “pushed” to grow up despite feeling weak throughout the process.”I can no longer carry on, but why are you still pushing me?”Every time she feels she has done not much or not good enough, she thinks of backing down.

“What a weird logic!”Wong interjects, sitting next to her and asks why. “If you haven’t done enough, you should think of how to do more instead of backing down.”

”(I’m feeling) very grim, I cannot balance anything”, replies Yuen-lam. The ‘balance’ between protesting and living may also be a dilemma for many Hongkongers. “Why can’t I retreat and become a common protestor? Do you understand? I got loads of pressure.”

However, once again the tides drag them along.

“We agreed to observe for one more month. If we were to back down, I am thinking of disbanding it next month,” Wong adds, “I said this last month though.”

In fact their conclusion was to try further because since 2019, the summer after June has an extremely uncommon meaning to Hongkongers, “we should all strongly promote events like 6.4, 6.12, 6.16, 7.21 and 8.31.”

By “strongly promote” he still means just setting up street stands which in Wong’s eyes is a “leftist” or an act of over-estimating oneself. The difference now is the regime wants to eliminate even this kind of minor acts“. I feel very sad about the last time (I was arrested), I behaved very cowardly.” Wong was talking about him and Yuen-lam being arrested in the eve of 6.12, charged with “inciting others into unauthorized assembly.” The arrests were described as “preventive” by Tonyee CHOW Hang-tung, Vice Chairperson of the Hong Kong Alliance.

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“At that moment I felt I would be detained forever.”

Wong underwent numerous internal struggles during his 30-hour detention. “I was thinking… um, in my first day of detention who should I invite to visit me? Should I apply to obtain a guitar or what books? Should I set up a social platform to write posts to the public? There were a lot of unfinished tasks. I was completely shocked by the sudden imprisonment. I was truly cowardly. I really don’t want to be locked up again.”

He describes himself as “about to go nuts.” In his “stinking” cell he sang two songs to himself, extremely softly.

“I never knew how big the world was. I am gradually learning about a lot of worries.”- <Eighteen, a song by Beyond>

“Glory be to thee, Hong Kong.”- <Glory to Hong Kong>

The messages and meanings of the two songs are almost opposite. However they probably both represent the thoughts of Wong. Is it glory? Or worry?

“Yes, I was also talking to myself”, says Yuen-lam, sharing her similar experience under custody.

Yuen-lam was pondering about leaving exactly one day before her recent arrest. The event made her feel “connected” to SP again. The detention centre offered no clock for detainees to tell the time. Yuen-lam estimated time by counting the shifts of the policemen as they take eight hours to swap over. “Our comrades in jail may count in units of weeks, month or even years. These units are so long that I don’t know if I can handle.”

Yuen-lam expresses her strong wish to return to year 2019. “The psychological pressure even being a fore-front protester in 2019 is lower than running a street stand now.”She says back then even when one was “fighting fiercely”, once escaped “like wind, being water” she felt safe. “You were hidden among the crowd and buried among millions of others. You didn’t have to be the one sticking out your head.”

However the tides never leave any choices for them. Their heads, once “poked out”, cannot easily be “plugged back”. “Many of those who know me ask ‘Your hands are already dirty, you are not pulling out, eh?’ Well I might as well carry on”, says Yuen-lam.

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The push and pull between fear and refusal to back down in this irrational situation in fact seem reasonable. Especially under NSL, anyone can be detained indefinitely with bail denied. All freedom can disappear in a split-second. Therefore a fearless progression in this situation may really be irrational.

This irrationality continues: on one hand Wong criticizes himself achieving zero progress in the past year, staying in his “comfort zone”, acting as a “leftist”, setting up “talk-sh*t” street stands, “doing thing only within his capabilities, not trying to break his limits”; on the other hand he does not stop. On one hand he scolds himself as “increasingly going backwards”, during his last arrest and detention he thought of “I don’t want to be imprisoned, not even a single day”; on the other hand he continues to set up the street stands he doesn’t even like, knowing that such actions “are increasing the speed of being arrested.”

With 7.1 looming, Wong and Yuen-lam, both entangled in court cases, clearly express their intention to continue setting up street stands. Under the current atmosphere, their act can be impolitely described as “asking for arrests”, but why?

“I have tried hard to stick out my head. Being jailed is my atonement.”

Wong agrees that this thought is “twisted” but he thinks the whole political environment and society are even worse. NG Kin-wai, an ex-district councillor and closer companion of Wong, is currently detained because of the “47 persons involved in primary election” case. Dozens of Wong’s friends have exiled. “Why everyone with whom I fought together is now either in jail or has fled? Why am I still free? I don’t deserve this.”

On one side afraid of being jailed, on the other he “is dying to be” jailed. What he can do is to continue “sticking out one’s head”. Apart from letting others to see his willingness to stand out, his base-line reason remains the same.

“I am still out here. I must atone.”

Wong, with his catchphrase “I have a lot to do”, is recently following Owen CHOW Ka-shing (granted bail earlier) – getting a tattoo. He chose two pairs of characters on his two arms, meaning “heart of a child” and “body unified with the earth” with a subtle resemblance to the characters of “Form 2”. The tattoos are on parts of his arms easily covered by short sleeves because they are there to remind himself, not others.

Yuen-lam once wished to go abroad and look after refugee children. When she later realized she cannot even look after the “nearest and closest” place, “am I even qualified to go away and help them?”Wong is simpler in his current state, he only want to be a “useless youth” ,”I don’t even want to get off my bed. I only want to lie in my bed, have all meals delivered by Foodpanda, play with my phone, watch videos and read books.”However with 7.1 in front of them, they will continue with their street stands, ready to get arrested and even jailed.

Hong Kong has sunk into an era of child-eating culture.

Source: The Stand News #Jun30

#StudentPoliticism #WongYatChin #WongYuenLam

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