Ugly Granny Lesbians

Ugly Granny Lesbians

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I thought those were men... ewwwww.

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Since Mel is still grounded because of her last stunt, the blog is all miiiiiiiiiine. And you know what that means right? Free stuff!
This is not an original idea but it’s always pleasant to make fun of old people before you become one.
Behold: Rock Stars that look like old lesbians!
I will give them stars to let you know who I think got closer to becoming an old lady.
Bon Jovi, you get 4 stars for being a sexy lesbian, but you are not all the way there yet
For those who don’t know, this is Reo Speedweagon. For those who knew that already, yes they are still alive and slowly turning into lesbians. The guy in the middle is almost fully morphed. The others with the X on their faces, won’t turn into anything I guess.
Prince gets only 3 for looking like a weird feminist ( too trendy, too trendy)
Holy shit! That’s Peter Criss (from Kiss). He is fully morphed. That is as far as it gets when becoming an old Lesbian. I would totally accept him as my aunt. Wouldn’t ask questions.
Iggy Pop. That’s what will happen to your aunt if she doesn’t quit doing Meth.
Bret Michaels (from Poison) gets 5 stars for looking like a whore and Ricky Rocket (From Poison) gets 3 for being an ugly old lady
David Coverdale (From Whitesnake) gets 5 stars for being the happiest lesbian and looking like my old dentist (the one who killed the wrong tooth)
David Bowie will always get 5 stars, no matter what the ranking is for
John Rzeznik (from Goo Goo Dolls). Man I used to think he was so hot. Now I think she is hot. 4 stars, because if I give you 5 I won’t have a chance with you.
Eddie Van Halen (From Van Halen). 3 stars because he looks like a crazy lady and a crazy old man. Got me confused…
Nick Rhodes (From Duran Duran) 4 stars, should have gotten 5 but I got distracted with Simon who will be HOT forever!
Awwwwww! Matt Sorum (Ex-Guns n Roses and ex-Velvet Revolver). He looks like a cute little girl. 5 stars for being a cute little girl at the age of 100! (this makes me smile, he is so happy!)
I HATE Lars Ulrich (from Metallica). 5 stars of hate for you, you stupid ugly tiny lesbian!
LA Guns, everyone. No I can’t tell them apart, they are all morphing into ugly lesbians, but the one on the back with no stars, will simply morph into one really ugly guy. Soon…
Steven Tyler (from Aerosmith) looks like a L.A. Granny, so 5 golden stars for you!
Lauri Ylönen (from the Rasmus). He got 5 stars even at this young age, because he can never turn into a man, so there. Full lesbian. BANG!
Steve Stevens (from Billy Idol). 4 stars for looking like a groupie’s mom. He also should have gotten 5, but I like him and it’s my stars!
Rod Stewart got only 3 stars because he is just a gay guy who looks like an old lady.
Last but not least, Vince Neil (from Motley Crue). 3 stars, but I believe he will get there. I will give him 2 more stars in no time!
Sebastian Bach (Ex-Skid Row) didn’t get any stars because he actually looks more like a boy than he did when he was a hot girl. who would have though!
Same thing with Mark Slaughter (from Slaughter). He manned up! He still looks gay, but he doesn’t look like a college girl anymore.
Since I can’t figure out if this is a boy or a girl, I will leave this one open. My guess is that this will turn into a hot girl. Already looks like a hot girl to me. This is Bill ( from Tokyo Hotel). People say it’s a he. I can’t decide…Oh well…

This entry was posted on March 23, 2009 at 11:25 pm and is filed under . . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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5 stars for the subject of this post hahah
Amazing pics, the last one I really can’t see him/her as a boy =p
This is very well done. Although one thing.
Not only do the older ones look like old lesbians, the new bands are all starting to look like them also!
It saddens me! TB Laughs at my magazines for it. She’s mean.
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An 82-year-old singer-songwriter from New York City is looking for a good time.
D’yan Forest says that while many of her friends have given up on sex, she’ll never stop craving intimacy.
“It ain’t over ’til the fat lady’s dead,” Forest told The Post with a chuckle.
The performer, who identifies as bisexual, sings about checking out the boys and girls on Tinder and says her desire to date is greater than ever.
“My friends who sit home with their old husbands or whatever, and watch television, they don’t want sex anymore. And I think it’s because they’re bored to death!” Forest said.
With song lyrics like, “I like a schlong that’s hard, or a snatch that’s ginger,” Forest isn’t coy about making her wants known.
“The older men my age don’t really interest me. They don’t think a woman is equal,” Forest told The Post, adding that it’s younger men who excite her.
Forest feels as though she connects more with younger men and loves conversing with them but feels as though she’s too old to attract them.
‘I would love to have sex. I’m not giving up hope.’
“It’s rough and I would love to have sex,” said Forest, adding, “I’m not giving up hope.”
Forest says she plans to go to meetups so that she can meet new people who share her interests.
She always puts on makeup and wears a distinctive hat so that she looks her best.
“I sometimes go out in the evenings, to a bar or a local place, where you sit around and talk,” she said.
Forest, who can sing in nine different languages, has traveled the world performing music, comedy and one-woman shows. She was married soon after graduating from Middlebury College, where she was the only Jewish student, and stayed with her husband for four years.
“I was a stupid virgin when I met him. If I had fooled around before marriage, I would have known not to marry him,” Forest told Lilith in March.
Now with years of experience under her belt, she’s hoping she can find a suitable partner who shares her zest for life.
“I’m just as vibrant emotionally, intellectually, sexually as I was in my 20s and 30s,” Forest said.
Video produced for the NY Post by Elettra Fiumi and Lea Khayata of Granny Cart Productions.

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