UPDATED Tripping the Prom Queen: The Truth About Women and Rivalry by Susan Shapiro Barash (Goodreads Author) free english txt how to store

UPDATED Tripping the Prom Queen: The Truth About Women and Rivalry by Susan Shapiro Barash (Goodreads Author) free english txt how to store

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This was one of those books I bought because I felt like I NEEDED it. I had gone through nothing but awful things with friendships with women I genuinely cared about only to have them stab me in the back. I turned to this book for comfort. I just wanted to be told that I wasnt the crazy one...that women do have some internal, biological NEED to be catty and half out of their minds for no particular reason at all.I already knew this...because Ive felt myself get jealous - insanely jealous over other women before. The difference is that I have learned to acknowledge that feeling and even admit it to myself, to those Im jealous of and actually have learned to be genuinely happy for them. Its not something were naturally inclined to do. We are biologically wired to be jealous. It all has to do instinctual survival mechanisms. Procreate with the healthiest, strongest male or die. If you dissect jealousy - all it is: A survival mechanism. Simple as that. Its one of our few survival mechanisms that still remains on high alert. If we dont keep our mate, retain the best job, have the most perfect children, the best looks, etc. we are afraid of being relegated to the lowest tiers of social structure. In caveman days, those women would have received less food, less worthy mates, and less respect than those at the top of the hierarchy.Not only that, but add in the mothering instinct - the desire to protect what is OURS...and yes, we ladies can be downright overzealously protective, baring our fangs at any beautiful woman that walks by in our mans line of sight.Kind of silly isnt it? But easy enough to understand at its roots. However, you will not find any biology, chemistry, or history in this book. You wont find any SOLUTIONS to the problem. You will find a lot of That b!tch! stories...but they arent even all that fascinating. You could hear better stories at the local hair salon. There are also quite a few interviews with proclaimed catty women who arent very remorseful and dont really add anything to the book.The big message you take away from the book is that youre not alone...but the book completely ignores what to do about it. Overcoming jealousy and learning to be a good friend is hard and I would have loved to hear more about how others negated their feelings. For instance, I think on terms of karma - if Im kind to other women, they cant justifiably be nasty to me...and if they are, karma will deal with them in the end. I also learned how GOOD it feels to be happy for someone, even if she is 510, drop dead gorgeous and has the perfect life. No one is perfect, some just hide it better than others.The second part of the problem is the one most of us turn to this book hoping to solve - What do you do when it happens to you? It hurts. We all know that, but I was hoping for some sisterly, loving approach and not the cold, term paper feel of what I read. I needed a hug...and what I got was someone saying, Oh hey, this one time this girl I knew stole this other girls husband... I dont care about all that. I just want to learn how to effectively deal with the hurt from this happening to me IN MY OWN LIFE rather than being one of those scarred women who walk around saying things like, I just dont get along well with women... or Women are b!tches... Nothing says, I am part of the problem more than those two sentences and I run, not walk, away from potential gal pals who utter things like that. I dont believe women are evil. I believe we are just hardwired to look out for number one...but if we bond together, we can learn to retract the nails and have wonderful, healthy female friendships.I wanted to LOVE this book...but instead, I walked away only wishing I did. The subject matter is fantastic, I love the title, but the execution made it hard for me to make it through the book. I think I would have preferred reading more about WHY we do the things we do, how to stop, and what to do when you encounter a female who hasnt gotten the memo on treating other women with kindness and respect.
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