Types Of Sex Acts
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Types Of Sex Acts
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What are Americans’ favorite sex acts? How much do women and men differ in this regard? A new study with a nationally representative sample of over 2,000 U.S. adults aged 18+ provides answers.
Survey participants rated over 50 different sexual and romantic behaviors—from masturbating to using vibrators to playful whipping—for how appealing they found each on a 4-point scale from “very appealing” and “somewhat appealing” to “not appealing” and “not at all appealing.” The below infographics order the top 10 behaviors based on the percentage of women and men who rated that behavior as “very appealing”.
The top 10 sexual behaviors rated as "very appealing" by U.S. women
The top 10 sexual behaviors rated as "very appealing" by U.S. men
Some of these results aren't surprising, like the fact that vaginal intercourse, the sex act most critical for the continuation of our species, topped both genders’ lists. Yet, even this wasn’t universally beloved by everyone: 11% of women and 16% of men found it unappealing. (Lest you are tempted to attribute this to nonheterosexuality, only 1.5% of women and 6% of men in the study identified as lesbian or gay). This is an excellent reminder that there are no human universals when it comes to sex.
In line with gender stereotypes, seven of the top 10 acts for women were related to romance and foreplay (cuddling, kissing, massages, watching romantic movies, gentle sex, etc.). However, in defiance of such stereotypes, three of the romantic items also made it to the men’s top 10, including cuddling more often, kissing during sex and gentle sex. (In contrast, rough sex, and another act that seems ubiquitous in conversations and pornography these days, anal sex, were nowhere near the top 10 for either gender. But more on that in a future article.)
Receiving oral sex made it to the top 10 for both sexes, although many more men than women (61% v. 43%) found this very appealing, a gender difference that has been explained in many ways: from women’s higher self-consciousness about genital looks, smell and taste, to male partners being uninterested or incompetent in giving oral sex.
Interestingly, despite this talk of many guys supposedly being too macho or grossed out to go down on women, giving oral sex made it into the top 10 most appealing behaviors for men, but not women. When you add those who weren’t overly enthusiastic but still found this act somewhat appealing, 77% of men reported enjoying giving oral sex compared to 58% of women. Only 21% of women rated giving oral as “very appealing;” it barely made their top 20 list. (No wonder one of the most frequently asked questions by men in my online Q&As is “how do I get my girlfriend to give me a blowjob?”)
The remaining items on men’s top 10 list not among women’s favorites had to do with aspects of sexuality frequently found to be higher in men: general sex drive (having sex more often), interest in sexual novelty (having sex in other parts of the house or in a hotel) and response to visual stimuli (watching partner undress). Luckily for men, at least as far as that last item is concerned, the last item on women’s top 10 list was wearing sexy underwear/lingerie, which hopefully they enjoy slowly taking off while their partner watches.
Of course, take these lists with a grain of salt. First, they are based on those who rated each behavior as “very appealing”; had I ordered the acts by adding the percent of those who also rated each as “somewhat appealing,” a slightly different picture would have emerged. Also, many other acts that didn’t make the top 10 were appealing to only slightly fewer people than the ones that did make the cut, and many of the acts that made it to only one gender’s top 10 were in the top 15-20 for the other gender. Finally, the lists are partially an artifact of the exact items asked: Even with 52 different acts included, there are hundreds more that got left out of this particular survey.
That notwithstanding, these lists offer valuable insight into some of our strongest and most common desires, and the gender differences and similarities in this regard. Perhaps they can even prove useful to you next time the clothes start coming off.
You can find Dr. Zhana Vrangalova on Twitter , Facebook , Instagram , and at her website, drzhana.com .
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FYI: When you stop thinking about things as being "off limits," you might actually experience an orgasm.
Good news: The year is 2020, which means the country is definitely reaching a new, progressive era of sexual awakening. If you’re not discussing sex with your girls over a glass of wine , you’re listening to the Girls Gotta Eat podcast or picking up cowgirl sex tips from a viral Tweet on Twitter.
(And NGL, it’s really cool to see so many average people, activists, and sex toy companies encouraging female pleasure and exploration in general).
But even despite the fact that there have been major strides to destigmatize the negative connotations associated with sex and self-pleasure (especially for women), there still remains some taboo sex topics people don’t discuss—with partners or with friends. Even if they’re interested in said topic.
But for whatever reason why this is the case, freeing yourself from looking at certain sex acts as being off limits or “too taboo” could be the way to your next full-body orgasm. Seriously.
Take it from an expert: “Anything between two (or more) consenting adults, involving safe words (if necessary), performed in private, is encouraged,” says Alex Miller, sexologist at Orchid Toys . “How can you know what you like until you try it all?”
So we spoke with a tonnnn of experts who advise on what sex acts you should be exploring (with consent and if you’re interested), regardless of reputation. Trust, these things shouldn’t be considered taboo, especially because of all the orgasms they could potentially bring you. You — and only you — determine what brings you pleasure, and exploring what turns you on should not be rooted in judgement, my friend.
“There are a lot of couples out there that completely avoid period sex because one or both partners considers it taboo or weird. This shouldn't be the case at all!” says Emily Brooks, a sex and relationship coach at BeyondAges.com . “With a little preparation and a little extra cleanup, period sex can be just as much fun as any other time of the month.” Keep in mind, though, that period sex could actually worsen cramps and bloating (and in other cases, alleviate cramp and bloating pain!) so stay in tune with your body and what feels good.
Okay, so maybe it’s not taboo necessarily, but sex without even touching the genitals is something most adults don’t opt for. And even though this may seem a lil middle schoolish, “focusing on a partner's body, exploring their curves, and seeing the way they react to different types of touch in unexpected places can be both erotic and incredibly intimate,” says expert and LGBTQ+ expert Kryss Shane.
Plus, given that many folks identify as a different gender than their assigned gender at birth, "some people may prefer to utilize the body's other pleasure points in order to stimulate enjoyment,” Shane adds.
Fun lil factoid: Sex can mean whatever you want it to mean. And contrary to what you may have been taught, it also doesn’t have to involve anything going inside of you or your partner. “We should realize that the penis isn't the only organ that allows for pleasure—and for many with a clitoris, they can orgasm without the need for any penetration ,” says Shane. So define and have sex in whatever way you want to have sex—whether that involves penetration or not.
ICYMI: We’re in a global pandemic, which has high-key made virtual sex the only safe option right now. But just because it’s the only option currently doesn’t mean we have to completely forgo it when it’s safe to have IRL sex again. “Gone are the days of online sex being relegated to the dark corners of shady chat rooms. Whether you want to send steamy messages via text or voice note, share sexy photos, or have full-on video sex, sex and digital technology now go hand in hand,” says sexologist Jess O’Reilly, PhD, We-Vibe sex expert.
And yes, this applies to exploration for both men and women. “There are tons of nerve endings in and around the anus that make everyone feel amazing. Penetration isn't necessary for anal play , there is plenty of sensation around the outside of the anus (not to mention the whole booty region!)” says Portia Brown, director and content creator at Froetic Sexology . “I think we have to become less squeamish and more educated when it comes to anal play and sex. Part of the reason this remains taboo is a lack of knowledge around how to do it painlessly and pleasurably.”
Remember when I mentioned above that most women cannot orgasm from strictly penetration? Allow me to introduce a vibrator (or any other sex toy you’d like to try out). “Sex toys, while certainly fun on their own, can enhance sex with a partner more than many people realize,” says Searah Deysach , sex educator and owner of Early to Bed . “From helping two people orgasm at the same (or close to) the same time, to adding a whole new type of sensation to your sex play, sex toys can actually do a lot to make partner sex more fun and even feel more intimate.”
This goes for sex toys for men, too: “The truth is, there are so many awesome, thoughtfully designed devices out there for penises now that everyone who has a penis should be using them,” says Deysach. And whether for solo play or paired for coupled sex, “there should be no shame around accessing this type of pleasure for anyone.”
Consensual spanking, biting, or love taps—with a hand or other objects—can bring an array of joy and pleasure to some, says Kayla Lords, sexpert at JackandJillAdult.com . “Like with any kink, as long as everyone involved has an understanding of what the activity will entail, has discussed risks and safety concerns, and consents to the fun, there's no reason for it to be taboo. You're not broken if you like to be on the receiving end of a few good smacks or if you like to be the one doing the smacking.”
Along the same lines as impact play, BDSM , which stands for bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission, is a maje turn on for a lot of folx. “Safely restraining your partner, adding some more intense sensations with crops and clamps, or blindfolding your partner while you tease their body are all ways that more and more people are pushing the boundaries on what kinds of sex is ‘normal,’” says Deysach. Again, like any kink, as long as every partner has consented and a safe word is established, it's all fun and orgasms.
Most often, pegging is used to refer to a hetero, cisgender woman strapping on a dildo and penetrating a hetero, cisgender man. And unfortunately, because anal sex has historically been associated as a "gay men act," many straight men don't consider pegging. But, a reminder: where and how you receive pleasure does not determine your sexuality.
“Not only can anal stimulation and penetration be awesome for all kinds of folks, but being on the receiving end of a partner who is experiencing the power and sexiness that can come from wearing a strap-on can be life-changing. Or at the very least, super-hot,” says Deysach.
Forget about what you think voyeurism and exhibitionism is because you probably have it all wrong (and associate it with the icky, illegal context). When consensual and used in a sexual matter, these kinks are actually extremely hot.
"Exhibitionism is a kink in which the person feels sexual arousal at the idea or reality of being seen naked or engaged in sexual activities by others,” says clinical sexologist Sarah Melancon, sexuality and relationship expert for SexToyCollective.com . And it typically goes hand-in-hand with a voyeur, which is someone who “feels sexual arousal by watching someone else nude or doing sexual activities,” says Melancon.
Unfortunately, “ voyeurism and exhibitionism are still considered taboo because there’s a lack of understanding of how to approach it and propose it to people,” says Brown. But “You are not a sexual deviant just because you want someone to watch you have sex, want to have sex out in public, or want to watch someone else masturbate, whatever it is.”
From Simple English Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This list of sex positions is a list of different ways to have sexual intercourse and other sexual acts.
These positions involve a penis going into a vagina , or the anus .
These positions are used for vaginal, or anal sex . The basic position is called the missionary position. In it, the receiving partner lies on their back with legs apart. The penetrating partner lies on top of the receiving partner, facing them. The penetrating partner enters so that the base of the penis rubs the clitoris .
Most of these positions can be used for either vaginal, or anal sex.
The receiving partner is kneeling or on all four limbs . The penetrating partner inserts their penis from behind. This position is sometimes called as the doggy style position.
Most of these positions can be used for either vaginal, or anal sex.
The receiving partner is on their hands and knees with their bottom exposed. The penetrating partner then pumps away at the receiving partner's vagina or anus with his penis.
Most of these positions can be used for either vaginal, or anal sex.
The penetrating partner sits down, with their legs stretched out. The receiving partner sits on top and wraps their legs around the penetrating partner. This is called pounding on the spot .
In the basic standing position, both partners stand facing each other and have vaginal sex. The shorter partner can stand on a stair if the partners are different heights. It may be easier if the person being penetrated has their back to a wall .
Most of the above positions can be used for anal sex.
Outercourse or frottage is sometimes part of foreplay , or to avoid intercourse.
Genital-genital sex , sometimes called GG rubbing , is when two people rub penises together (sometimes called frot, or frottage), or when two people rub vulvae together (sometimes called tribadism , or scissoring).
Oral sex is the term given to genital stimulation by the mouth. People may engage in oral sex as part of foreplay before intercourse, or during, or following intercourse. It may also be performed for its own sake.
Fellatio is a kind of oral sex that involves a person letting their penis be licked, or "eaten" by their partner. The person's partner can be any gender, or sex. There are several ways to have oral sex.
Note: Fellatio doesn't have to involve two people. Some people with male genitalia have a long-enough penis and a good enough stretch to lick or put their own penis into their mouth. However, this is called autofellatio or autofellation.
Cunnilingus is oral sex involving a person's female genitals. There are several ways to have oral sex.
Oral sex between two people at the same time is called 69. Partners can be lying side-by-side, lying one on top of the other, or standing with one partner holding the other upside down.
Positions for anilingus , also known as "rimming", "anal-oral sex", or "rimjob" are:
When three people have sex with each other, it is called a threesome . You can have:
Multiple penetration , or double penetration means someone is penetrated in more than one place. Types of double penetration are:
Missionary position with bent knees
Wikimedia Commons has media related to Sex positions .
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Sophie Saint Thomas is a New York-based writer originally from the Caribbean. She is Allure ’s resident astrologer and the author of Finding Your Higher Self: Your Guide to Cannabis for Self-Care (Adams Media), a guide to self-care and marijuana, and [*Sex Witch: Magickal Spells for Love, Lust, and... Read more
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Especially with the rise of social media, new terms are coined all the time, including in the arena of sexuality. For instance, while the word "cuck" has become an insult hurled by the right-wing trolls, it's related to cuckolding, which can (and should) be a hot and consensual sexual activity that all involved parties enjoy. If you weren't quite sure of what that particular word's definition is — or you're unclear on terms like felching, docking, or queening, for that matter — I've written a near-comprehensive guide.
Additionally, if you're wondering if
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