Types Of Foreplay

Types Of Foreplay

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Foreplay should be just as passionate and fun as intercourse.
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When we’re talking sex positions , we tend to focus solely on the main event: where to do it, how to do it and how to transition from one part of doing it to another part of doing it. Mostly absent from this discussion is any mention of foreplay positions — the very stuff that gets us doing it in the first place. This oversight is negligent at best, criminal at worst. Because after all, one can’t have a middle and end without first having a beginning. And really, one can’t reasonably expect to reach a rewarding conclusion without putting in at least a little work on the front-end.
The beauty of the foreplay position is its inherent versatility. You can start with it, finish with it, or throw it in somewhere in the middle—and it won’t ever feel out of place. Foreplay needs no introduction (that’s its entire raison d’être), but it’s not strictly introductory, either. While every foreplay position can serve as an opening act, many can pinch-hit as sideshows and main events, too. It’s entirely possible to craft a well-rounded sexual repertoire using only foreplay positions . Try crafting one without using any at all, though, and you’ll likely feel the absence.
Of course, some might make the argument that foreplay positions go so oft-overlooked because there simply aren’t that many of them. There are only a handful of ways to do foreplay —and all of them are pretty self-explanatory. Sure, but the same could be said about sex itself. The whole thing is pretty straightforward, but that doesn’t keep us from inventing slightly new ways to do it or discussing its many intricacies. If we’re willing to dedicate so much time and energy to getting it on, surely we should be able to give foreplay its due. Without it, everything feels a little bit lackluster. But with it, that same set of actions can feel absolutely inspired.
The Virgo is a perfect position for impromptu oral sex —or foreplay that feels a little out-of-the-box. Start by standing with your back against a wall. Your legs should be far enough apart that your partner can sit down—facing you, with their legs crossed—and slide in between them. From there, lean against the wall and bend your knees until your partner has ample access to your nether parts. From there, you can engage in some serious finger and oral play—and your partner can even reach around to grab your butt, too.
The Low Doggy serves as an excellent precursor to from-behind penetration , but it’s exciting enough to stand on its own. Start by lying, face-down, on your bed, a couch, or some other comfy surface. Bend your knees so your feet are in the air, and feel free to slide a pillow under your pelvis to make things a little cozier. Invite your partner to climb on top of you so their knees are aligned with your knees, and their head is aligned with your head. From there, they can penetrate you with their fingers or a toy ( LELO Enigma is great if you want a particularly intense experience). And for a little extra excitement, they can grab your hair and pull it, too.
As a foreplay position, the Mirage goes both ways—inviting both you and your partner to get in on the action. Start by lying down with your knees bent and your feet planted on the ground (or the bed, or the couch—you know the drill.) Invite your partner to kneel, straddling your head, facing your legs. From there, they can bend over to reach your genitals—which should, in turn, give you all kinds of access to theirs. From there, they can stimulate you with their fingers or a sex toy, and you can go down on them.
The Temptation is a fun way to turn up the heat—before sex, in the middle of it, or even at the end of it. Start by lying down on the edge of a surface—ideally, somewhere that’s pretty high up. Think: a table, a countertop, or possibly a bed (assuming it’s adequately lofted). Once you’re lying down, bend your knees and pull them into your chest so your feet are way up in the air. If it’s comfortable, you can even rock forward a little bit and prop yourself up by bending your elbows behind you. From there, invite your partner to approach you. They should be standing, facing you. Once there, they can stimulate you using their fingers or a toy (I love suction toys for this kind of position — like Womanizer Premium or Unbound’s Puff for people with clits), and you can reach down to stimulate them as well. The best part? This foreplay position puts you face to face , so you can kiss each other the entire time.
The Reverse is an excellent foreplay option for those looking to try something very new. Start by lying down with your knees bent and your feet planted in front of you. (The bend can be pretty subtle; just focus on what makes you feel stable and comfortable.) Invite your partner to lie down on top of you. They should be facing the ceiling, with their head aligned with your legs, and their legs bent, straddling your head. Once there, adjust until your partner’s genitals reach your mouth and you can engage in some serious oral play.
The Hunger is a classic foreplay position —one you’ll likely recognize, even if you’ve never called it by that name. Start by sitting on the edge of your bed, with your knees bent and your toes grazing the floor. Invite your partner to kneel in front of you, facing you. From there, they can engage in all kinds of finger and oral play—even stimulating you with a toy, if you so choose. Since this position starts on the bed, it’s a perfect segue into more classic penetrative sex—as well as other kinds of foreplay.
The Tamer is an incredibly cozy form of foreplay , fit for lazy mornings and sleepy evenings, alike. Lie on your side, and invite your partner to do the same—but they should be lying perpendicular to you, with their upper body nestled between your legs. (You should be able to make eye contact. If you aren’t, one of you is facing the wrong way!) From there, they should have easy access to your genitals, giving them space to stimulate you with their fingers or a sex toy ( Dame’s Com Wand Vibrator is an amazing option for this one). And you can reach behind yourself to stimulate them, too.
Another classic form of foreplay , the Compliment is an easy addition to anyone’s sexual repertoire. Ask your partner to kneel, just behind the edge of your bed. Then, kneel on the ground in front of them. Adjust as necessary until you can easily reach their genitals, and then stimulate them using your mouth, your hands, or a sex toy.
69 by another name, the Pendant invites you and your partner to pleasure each other in equal measure . Invite your partner to lie down with their knees bent and their feet planted in front of them. From there, you can climb on top of them, facing them, with your legs straddling their torso and your head snuggled in between their legs. From there, you should have access to their genitals, and they should have just a little access to yours. This should give you both the opportunity to stimulate each other however you see fit—with your mouths, your hands, or a couple sex toys.
You can be your own passionate partner. Try out these masturbation positions for DIY pleasure :
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Sex and pleasure go far beyond penetrative sex. Here's how to rock your partner’s socks off.
Foreplay isn’t optional. It’s not something that you can half-ass for two minutes before rushing into P-in-V or P-in-B sex. Instead, it's something you should take your time with to get both your partner and yourself in the mood—after all, you shouldn’t be feigning excitement or mindlessly going through the motions just for your partner’s sake. Foreplay is something that should turn on everyone involved.
“Without foreplay, [sex] is equivalent to putting a frozen turkey in a 250 degree oven,” explains Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven , one of the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shops. “Oh, it will defrost at some point and it will cook within the next 4 or 5 days. But why go that route when you can defrost it and then warm it up the correct way at the correct temperature?”
Honestly, the term "foreplay" is a misnomer because it implies that what comes next—the actual “play” or intercourse—is somehow better. But that’s not the case. Most people with a vulva can’t orgasm through penetration alone . They require clitoral stimulation in order to experience climax, which happens when the external clitoral glans are engaged. The most reliable ways of doing this are not through penetration, but through oral, hand, or toy sex. (That said, it’s important to note that sex is not all about orgasming— it's about pleasure, and there's a difference .)
Foreplay is not the “before” part; think of it as MORE-play. It’s a huge piece of this puzzle that deserves a better reputation than some optional “pre-sex” fun. In fact, penetrative sex doesn't even need to be on the table at all for sex to be sex. Sex is everything involving genitals (or other body parts) that brings someone sexual pleasure. We need to open our minds, people! Prioritizing intercourse is so over.
Now, to get the best foreplay moreplay tips, we spoke to various sex experts. Try one, two, or all of these tips and techniques the next time you start fooling around, and watch some magic happen.
When in doubt, just come right out and ask what your partner likes during sex. “Most [people] appreciate men who want to make sure they’re satisfied,” says Barbara Bartlik, M.D., a professor of psychiatry at Cornell University. “If [they] notice you’re working hard to please them, “[they’ll] be more likely to return the favor.”
Communication is essential for good sex, no matter what kind of sex you’re having. Being open and honest about your turn-ons and inviting your partner to do the same creates an erotic atmosphere that’s both sexy and trusting.
Foreplay doesn’t simply start in the bedroom. It can start from the moment you wake up. Little texts like “Can’t wait to get naked with you tonight” can get your partner excited before you even set foot in the same room. If sending nudes is something that turns you and your partner on, go ahead and swap some sexy photos with one another. Then you can text what you plan to do to their naked body. Sexting gets the fires going so early that by the time you’re actually in bed, you’ll be RARING to go.
Ice cubes and candles that double as massage oil are a fun and easy way to turn up the heat on your foreplay, explains Sofiya Alexandra, co-host of the podcast Private Parts Unknown .
“Hold an ice cube between your teeth and draw it down your partner’s body," Alexandra says. "Or, if you’re more into heat, like me, you can get candles involved—one of my college boyfriends and I used to use just regular soy candles to drip wax on each other for a little BDSM fun ."
That said, a massage candle is a safer way to dip your toe into wax play if it’s new to you. “Drip high at first to cool the oil down before initial contact with skin, and take your time slowly massaging it in for maximum pleasure," Alexandra says. "You want your partner’s body to buzz like a hive of murder hornets.”
Moreplay is a marathon, not a sprint. (Though if you are pressed for time, here are the best sex position for quickies .) Instead of quickly stripping down, start by taking off their shirt. Wait a few minutes before you take off their pants, and so on. You can then focus on that newly revealed body part with kisses and licks. After taking off your partner’s pants, massage their legs. Once the top is gone, you can lick and gently suck on their nipples . (Nipple play can be enjoyable for all gender.)
If you’ve ever attempted to have sex in the shower or in a body of water, you’ll know that it’s nearly impossible to thrust while your body is submerged in liquid.
That’s why Courtney Kocak, co-host of Private Parts Unknown , suggests using the tub as a means of foreplay. “I feel like sexy fantasies that involve candlelit bubble baths or steamy showers are ingrained in us,” Kocak says. “Enjoy stripping down with your partner before you get in—maybe set a playful tone by taking turns underdressing each other.” Just make sure to keep the water hot so you can stay in for a while and really explore the intimacy of touch.
In a similar vein, go ahead and give your partner a little strip tease. (If you need inspiration, you can always check out the SNL skit with Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze auditioning to be Chip ‘n’ Dale dancers.)
If you’re a shite dancer, at least you’ll come off as endearing, but if you do in fact strip well, your partner just might want to pounce on you. (FYI, here's how to strip-tease like a dancer in Magic Mike .) Honestly, your partner is going to be turned on by you getting naked no matter how silly you feel. Sex isn’t always serious. It can be playful and funny while still being very orgasmic.
Sexy underwear is for everyone. If you find the right fit, you can really turn your partner on. (If you've never tried low-rise briefs, we highly recommend them! )
More of a tighty-whitey type? Rock on, my friend. Whatever makes you feel like a true sexual icon is the right way to go. Pssst … that might even mean going commando.
If you’re going to have penetrative sex, start by giving your partner an erotic massage that both relaxes and teases them. Prior to even touching them, you’ll want to set the mood with lighting and music (we recommend soft lighting - stay the hell away from fluorescents), and then go ahead and whip out the massage oil.
From there you want to start massaging them. Start with arms, legs, back etc. Relax their muscles before moving to *sexier* areas. Once they're really relaxed, that’s when you start massaging those naughty bits.
People get turned on by knowing their partner is having fun, too. That’s what makes sex, in all its forms, so hot. “If you act as if you’re just going through the motions to get to [intercourse], [they’re] going to notice, and it will take longer for [them] to get excited,” says Michael Perry, Ph.D., a sex therapist in Encino, California.
In other words, get into all your moreplay activities, and enjoy them while you're doing them. If you like how your partner’s calves feel, stroke them in appreciation. If you like their butt, kiss it. “When a man is loving what he’s doing, it’s going to show through and turn [them] on, too,” says Perry.
No matter your partner’s genitals, it’s important to start off slowly and gently. This is especially true if there is a clitoris involved. As wonderful as the clit is, it can be easily overstimulated if you rush right to it. “Direct stimulation of the clitoris can actually be painful,” says Cathy Winks, author of The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot . “It’s much better to rub the clitoral hood [where the tops of the labia meet] or to rub along the side of the clitoris than it is to go straight for the head of it.”
When playing with the clitoris during oral sex , Birch’s advice is to take th
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