Type Of Masturbation
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Type Of Masturbation
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If you haven’t changed things up since seventh grade, read this.
Most people with a penis learn to masturbate as quickly and quietly as possible. After all, when you're a testosterone-loaded adolescent, you have to content with the very real risk of your parents or siblings walking in and disturbing your, ah, personal time.
And there isn’t just a fear of getting caught jerking off—there’s also a lot of shame surrounding sexual pleasure when people are younger, says Dr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai, Pelvic PT, certified sexuality counselor and founder of YouSeeLogic , an online sexual education platform. “Few people were told that masturbating is natural and an excellent way to learn more about your sexual pleasure,” she says.
Those secretive, fast-and-furious masturbation habits can spill into adulthood, Shamyra Howard, sexologist and Men's Health advisory panel member, says in Men's Health Best. Sex. Ever . "Many guys are masturbating the same way they did when they were teens—all rushed," she says. "You need to change things up. If you're right-handed, use your left hand; involve sex toys; or try masturbating on your stomach. Also, don't focus only on your genitals. You have a whole body. Get your nipples, perineum, and anus involved."
The options might sound a little overwhelming. If you're sitting there thinking, I'll just go back to my old ways, thanks —WAIT! According to Howard, exploring new ways to masturbate can help benefit your sex life on the whole.
"As long as you're switching things up when you masturbate, you get an opportunity to explore and try different things with your body and to learn what you like," she says. "You can learn how you like your penis touched, which things turn you on, and which angles lead to more pleasure."
Try these 13 masturbation tips and techniques the next time you feel like getting down with yourself, and get ready to feel good— really good.
You’ve likely masturbated in the same position now for years, so try switching it up. “If you are a stander, try laying on your back. If you like to sit, stand up,” Dr. UC. says. “Changing positioning can improve your pelvic floor muscle resting tone, which can help improve the blood flow to your penis.” So changing up your masturbation positions won’t only feel good for the novelty, but it may also increase the strength of your erections.
Do you ever feel really horny after working out? Well, there’s a reason for that . You release hormones while working out, including adrenaline and dopamine a.k.a. the so-called "feel-good" chemical. Dr. UC adds that it’s excellent to masturbate after working out “because your endorphins are quite high, blood flow is great, and your pelvic floor muscles are completely relaxed.”
"The perineum is the area between the penis and the anus. It's full of nerve endings and very sensitive, so providing some vibration to it can often feel really good," says LELO Sexpert and NYU professor of Human Sexuality Dr. Zhana Vrangalova .
Try pressing a vibrating sex toy to your perineum while stroking your penis with your other hand. Vrangalova recommends either the LELO Lily 2 or the LELO Smart Wand . It's "sure to provide a different kind of orgasm," she says. There are also prostate massagers on the market that stimulate your perineum.
Sex toys aren't just for people with a vulva. For penis-owners, Emily Morse, a sex expert and host of the popular podcast Sex with Emily, recommends the Fleshlight, the popular handheld column that you slip over your junk to simulate the feel of real vaginal or anal sex . (You can even buy an accessory to free up both your hands.)
Vibrators have traditionally been marketed to people with a vulva, which makes sense, given that most need some form of external clitoral stimulation in order to climax during penetrative sex. But recent years have seen an increase in vibrating sex toys designed for dicks , because honestly, those vibrations can feel really damn good on penises, too! One 2012 study found that 44% of heterosexual men had enjoyed the experience of using a vibrator at some point in their life, so don't be shy about trying some of these toys.
"A lot of men, especially those who identify as straight, regularly miss out on a huge source of pleasure: their butts," Vrangalova says. "Butts (of all genders) have a huge number of nerve endings and stimulating them can feel really good. If you have a prostate that you can (indirectly) reach this way, that anal stimulation can be literally mind-blowing."
So how do you bring a little butt play into your next masturbation session? Vrangalova recommends using your hand or a prostate massage toy .
She recommends the LOKI Wave , which "has a nice long handle you can hold with one hand while you stroke with the other, and the wave motion of the internal vibrating part hits the prostate just right."
A cock ring—also known as a penis ring —is a band and that goes around the base of your penis (and sometimes your testicles, too), trapping blood flow in your shaft and thereby strengthening your erection. Cock rings often come up in conversations about how to last longer during partnered sex, but there's no reason not to reap their rock-hard benefits during solo sex. Speaking of benefits: In addition to stronger erections, some guys anecdotally say that cock rings give them stronger orgasms.
Ever heard of the " death grip "? If you find yourself having a hard time reaching orgasm during sex with a partner, it might be because you're squeezing your penis too hard and stroking too fast during masturbation.
"This amount of grip pressure and stroke speed cannot typically be reached with a partner, hence their orgasmic difficulties," Vrangalova says. "To prevent this from happening, make sure you switch up the grip and stroking speed, so you're used to ejaculating in different ways."
The 5-minute speed jerk is fine for most days. But if you have a little extra time, “ edging ”—also called the stop-and-start method—can help you achieve more intense orgasms, Morse promises.
Work yourself right up to the edge of ejaculation and then take a short break—just enough time for your erection to soften a bit. Then start the process over again. Do this three or four times before you orgasm , and you’ll experience more profound, powerful ejaculations, Morse says.
You’ve probably tried incorporating your non-dominant hand into your solo act. You may have even attempted the mythical “Stranger”—sitting on your hand until it falls asleep, and then using it to simulate the sensation of someone else doing the dirty work. But Morse advises using your opposite hand in more creative ways.
Turn your hand so it slides down your penis forefinger-first, and twist it as you stroke. You could also try holding your penis against your stomach with one hand while rapidly sliding a few fingers up and down the underside of your shaft. Like switching positions during sex, mixing in unfamiliar hand maneuvers can break up the tedium, Morse says.
There are nearly as many sex-specific nerve endings in your testicles as there are in your penis. Don’t neglect them, Morse urges.
While individual preferences and sensitivities play a big role in what you’ll enjoy, a lot of men discover an untapped source of stimulation—and more intense orgasms—by pulling down on their testicles rhythmically before ejaculation.
Some guys learn to ignore their penis entirely as they approach the big O, Morse says.
Masturbation entails sexually pleasuring yourself, but it does not mean you have to do it alone in a room with the door locked. Masturbation side-by-side with a partner can be an intimate experience—not to mention an easy, sexy option for when you're both too tired to do anything fancy. "Sex is so much more than penetration," Howard says. "Sex is any type of emotional, spiritual, physical, or erotic connection, and that includes mutual masturbation."
Plus, watching how your partner touches their own body can be a great way to learn exactly what they like in bed, and vice versa.
We know it sounds counterintuitive, but the less you obsess about climaxing, the more enjoyable your sexual experience is likely to be . In our race to have an orgasm, we often end up overlooking the most important aspect of a sexual experience: pleasure. If you have time on your hands, do what feels good —not what you think will get you over the finish line fastest.
"Most people masturbate because they want that release, but allow yourself to focus on the moment of intimacy between you and yourself," Howard says.
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Gigi Engle
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator.
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“The clit, the clit, the clit, the clit!"
Seriously, why is there no female version of the masturbation scene in American Pie ? That minute of cinematic magic normalized the bizarre masturbation habits of guys everywhere. Now, it's time for ladies to embrace that same desire to get freaky however they please.
There are so many ways to explore the inner (and outer) workings of your bod—from trying new masturbation moves , to exploring different vibrator settings, or experimenting with sex toys.
Need some inspo for where to explore next—and how? These 10 women are sharing their favorite techniques:
“The clit, the clit, the clit, the clit! If you don’t know where it is, you better find it! Just get in touch with that thing and BOOM. Your life will be changed forever.” —Jessica, 26
“I like to put a blanket or t-shirt between my vagina and my vibrator. It deadens the feelings a little bit in a way that feels like another person is touching me. I do this while watching some seriously raunchy porn. I won’t get into the kind of porn because…awkward! But it works!” —Malia*, 24
“I'm in a long-distance relationship, and we see each other about once a month for a long weekend. Since we can't be together as often as we'd like, phone sex and masturbation obviously happen a lot. A couple of things that help both of us:
“One: We have a shared, private Dropbox folder where we upload sexy pics and videos. Watching him get himself off is very arousing, and it gives me clues about what he likes, for the next time we're together.
“Two: We intentionally leave clothing (pajamas, underwear...) at each other's homes. Smelling him on one of his t-shirts definitely gets me in the mood, if I'm not already.” —Frankie*, 36
“Find a vibrator that works for you and marry it. I went through a bunch of sex toys before I found a vibrator that does it for me every time. The thought of not having it or it breaking gives me serious anxiety. No thanks!” —Hannah, 29
“I really enjoy my favorite clit-vibe. It’s a small toy, but it is powerful! I just stick it right on my clit. I can have an orgasm in a few minutes flat. It’s the best way to relax ever. It’s better than sex.” —Britney, 29
“I need penetration to orgasm. I always have. So, sometimes masturbating is hard. Or, I guess it WAS hard for many years. All my friends thought I was weird for not just ‘rubbing one out.’
“I’ve finally got it down and I’m hoping other women will appreciate this info. I use a suction dildo, one of those dildos that can stick to a wall or floor or wherever—but I put it on a chair. That way I can lower myself onto it, cowgirl-style. I then use my hand to get my clitoris in on it, too. It works great for me!” —Michelle, 32
“I like to come down from the top of the clitoris. If I put anything right on it (even during sex), it’s kind of a bit too much, you know? If I approach the clitoris sort of from a downward angle with a vibrator, it gives me all the pressure I need to come, but without making it so over the top that I can’t get there. I also like experimenting with different kinds of vibrators and really take my time with it." —Angie, 36
“I don’t know if this is cheesy, but I set a whole mood for myself. I light candles, have a special playlist, and take a long hot bath. I guess I’d say it’s seducing myself. If I want to enjoy masturbation, it needs to be a complete experience or I don’t like it as much. It’s especially great when I’m in a bad mood or have had a really stressful day. I remind myself that I’m sexy and it feels really good.” —Julia, 28
“My girlfriend and I usually masturbate together, which is hot. It’s sexy to see her touch herself and it definitely turns her on to watch me. We sometimes watch porn, but mostly it’s just the two of us. I even think about the times we’ve gotten off solo-but-together when we’re having partner sex sometimes. It’s just so hot and weirdly voyeuristic.” —Janis*, 30
“To be honest, my best technique for masturbation is just doing it a lot. The more you masturbate, the better it gets. At least, for me. I try to keep it consistent as much as possible. I’ll be lying in bed and think, ‘Oh, I haven’t masturbated in a few days!’ So, I grab my vibe and go for it. If I go more than a week or so without using my vibrator, I find it harder to get off next time I get around to it.” —Lily*, 29
Gigi Engle is a sex educator and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.
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