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The only thing more uncomfortable than casting auditions are casting auditions in which you have to give your screen partner a mock handjob while reciting your lines.
Anna Gunn played Skyler White, the woman we all loved to hate on "Breaking Bad." And while she'll never be our favorite on the show, Gunn deserves some brownie points for what she had to go through during her audition process. For anyone who doesn't remember, in the early seasons of "Breaking Bad," Skyler gets handsy with her husband without ever taking her eyes off an eBay auction.
Forgot how cringe-worthy that scene was? Well, we're here to remind you.

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It must be fun to pitch ideas for TV shows in Japan. You can literally take two completely unrelated things, throw them together and BOOM!—you're on the air. For instance: "cooking" and "balancing a live cat on your head"; "Playing naked Twister" and "your grandparents"; "Re-enacting episodes of Law & Order" and "swimming in a tank of pinching crabs". You get the idea. This literally must be how Japanese game show Sing What Happens , where male contestants have to sing karaoke while getting a hand job from attractive, semi-naked women, who often use their hands but also sometimes use their feet to give sexual pleasure. TV is officially too much to handle.
Here's how the game (porno?) is played: The contestants must remember all the words to the song they're singing while being jacked off, and in order to win, must also hit all the correct notes. It seems really hard (haw, haw). The aim is to not be distracted by the hand job, and sing flawlessly through to ejaculation, which brings whole new meaning to the phrase "belting it out". Welp! It looks like the Japanese have once again raised the bar for absurd game show premises, and also given Internet writing folks like me ample opportunity to really work in some erection puns. Thanks, Japan!
Watch a weird segment from the show below. There's no nudity but I still don't think it's safe for work if you're in a professional work environment:
Meanwhile, the Japanese aren't the only ones with weird karaoke shows. Of course, we have our quirks too. Here are some more hilariously odd karaoke shows from Japan, America and elsewhere:

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Having never been a boy, I had no idea about all the weird shit boys do to get off. Even though I had a big brother, I wasn’t privy to the vast array of strange self-satisfying tools and tricks teenage boys have up their sleeves. That is, until I met my husband and he told me a hilarious story about why he loved climbing the pole at school.
“At first,” he explained, “I just climbed because I liked to see how fast I could get to the top. But one day when I climbed something weird happened. It felt really good. Like, so good I would make sure to climb that pole every morning and every lunch.”
Even as my own sons grew, I didn’t understand just how resourceful boys could be, until I questioned my then-12-year-old about why he had a giant box of condoms in his bedroom.
His hesitation should have been my first clue.
“Well, umm,” he said. “I use them to, uh, you know…”
“To what?” I asked. I had no idea what he was trying to say.
“Oh. Oh, well, OK,” was all I managed to say.
A week later, while out for drinks with my girlfriends, who also had teen boys, I asked if that was normal.
“I don’t know about condoms,” my friend Tammy said, “but I found out my son Charlie was using socks.”
“Socks?” I had never heard of boys sexualizing slippers.
“Yeah, socks. Your boys don’t do that?” Tammy asked. “Well, Charlie does. I swear I won’t even touch his laundry anymore. All it took was one time grabbing a sock that was hard as a rock and I was done. It was nasty!”
Learning about socks, and laughing my ass off watching the Bridesmaids scene where a mom describes cracking her son’s comforter, made me curious about what other means boys employ to get their (pun intended) socks off.
Naturally, I first turned to my husband and sons to learn more. I was in for a surprise with their answers.
Like machine gun fire, my eldest son listed his favorite masturbation props.
“Let’s see, there’s good old wadded-up toilet paper, towels, even shirts. Heck, I’ll use dirty laundry if it’s there. Whatever is within reach, really,” he shared. As he spoke, my younger son nodded his head emphatically.
“Anything else?” I asked. I was all business. Hey, who was I to judge? As a teen, I’d had an amorous moment or two with my favorite bottle of perfume, Love’s Baby Soft, which, if anyone remembers, was totally shaped like a dildo.
“OK, don’t laugh, but one time I put my penis in the vacuum hose,” my youngest said.
“While it was on?” I asked. I’d lost my deadpan expression the moment I picture my son losing his penis in a vacuuming accident.
“Yeah, but it was on low, don’t worry,” he reassured me. “It didn’t feel that good, so I only did it once.”
“Oh, what about paper towel rolls?” my oldest added. “And that time I used the cantaloupe?”
Even my husband was shocked at the cantaloupe revelation. Fruit. Really? I thought that was only a thing women in prison did.
“And the trash can,” my youngest said. Was nothing sacred?
By the end of our conversation, I had the idea that my sons, and probably all teenage boys, used anything and everything at their disposal to masturbate.
With my curiosity quelled, I had to wonder if my quest for knowledge was a worthy endeavor. Honestly, I’ll probably never look at a cantaloupe the same way again, but I am grateful I had this awkward, yet illuminating, discussion with my kids.
They felt confident enough to be real, knowing full well I would write this information and share it with the world. It may seem like too much for some parents, but talks like these let me know that my sons can truly be open with me about any subject, no matter how uncomfortable. Like, penis-in-a-vacuum uncomfortable. Ouch.
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