Two Orgasm

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Two Orgasm
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Jordyn Taylor is the Deputy Editor of Content at Men's Health. She's covered health, wellness, fitness, and lifestyle since 2013, and has previously worked as a reporter and editor at Mic and the New York Observer.
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When it comes to orgasms, you really can't have too much of a good thing. While some people with a vagina are able to have multiple orgasms fairly easily, it tends to be a bit trickier for the penis-owning population, thanks to that pesky refractory period getting in the way.
"When men ejaculate, their brain becomes unresponsive to sexual stimulation, so they are effectively on the bench when it comes to sex," says Kenneth Play , the sex educator known as the "world's greatest sex hacker."
If only there were ways to orgasm without ejaculating and triggering that refractory period, amirite? Oh, wait. There are! Experts have identified various ways for men to climax more than once in a row, including through non-ejaculatory multiple orgasm (NEMO) and prostate orgasms . It just takes practice. (Lucky for you, that practice involves masturbation, so this'll probably be the most fun homework you've ever had.)
An added bonus: learning to have multiple orgasms can benefit everyone involved in your sex life.
"This capacity also equalizes the disparity between men and women’s pleasure to some degree," Play says. "A large percentage of women can have multiple orgasms, so this enables their male partners to keep up with them."
We tend to equate penile orgasms with ejaculation, but that’s not exactly the case.
"The orgasm is the part of the sexual experience that happens between two and seven seconds before ejaculation,” Ava Cadell, Ph.D., a Los Angeles sexologist explained to GQ . “It combines an increase in full-body sensitivity, quickening of breath, and a flood of sensations through the scrotum and penis.
"Ejaculation is the final step of stimulation and involves the release of semen, as well as the neurotransmitters that will send the body into 'rest and recovery mode,' or the refractory period.”
While it’s virtually impossible for men to have multiple ejaculatory orgasms with no refractory period, you can climax several times in a row if you don’t release any semen. The technique is known as non-ejaculatory multiple orgasm, or NEMO, and involves strengthening your pelvic floor.
"Taoist traditions have extremely elaborate methods for cultivating this ability, as well as some yogic lineages from India, Tibet, and China," Play explains. "These traditions use this practice to retain energy and alertness and direct it towards the goals of their tradition. Avoiding the refractory period and staying aroused and in the game, whether sexually, emotionally, or physically, is definitely a huge benefit."
If you think non-ejaculatory orgasms will feel different from regular orgasms, you’re right—so remember to lower your expectations just a little.
"You can’t expect for each small orgasm to feel like your usual orgasms," says Jonathan Stegall, M.D., founder and president of the Center for Advanced Medicine in Atlanta. "They’ll be less in intensity, but for some men, having several small orgasms is actually preferable to having one big one."
As we mentioned earlier, having multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms is all about controlling your pelvic floor.
"While some men experience multiple orgasms accidentally, others can learn to invite such a reaction," says sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright.
You can do this with Kegel exercises, which strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and your ability to control orgasmic and ejaculatory responses in the heat of the moment, she says. Your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle—which stretches from the pubic bone to the tailbone—controls ejaculation. If you can keep yourself from ejaculating after an orgasm, you’ll be more likely to skip the refractory period and orgasm again—and again, and again.
To perform Kegel exercises, you want to contract the PC muscle as you would when you control the flow of urine as you’re peeing. You can practice Kegels anywhere—like contracting the muscle for 10 seconds while sitting in your car.
“In studies of men who claim to be multi-orgasmic, researchers have found that some guys just seem to come by it naturally, whereas others have taught themselves to have multiple orgasms,” explains Dr. Justin Lehmiller , a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author Tell Me What You Want . The men who taught themselves how to be multi-orgasmic did so “by engaging in a lot of masturbatory practice in which they would get to the brink of orgasm, but then prevent ejaculation from occurring, such as by squeezing the penis.”
The key is to get as close as possible to the “point of no return” without actually reaching it. Relationship guru Dan Savage popularized that term, and it refers to when you reach a point either during sex or masturbation when ejaculation is inevitable. No amount of holding off, pressure, or Kegel squeezes will prevent emission.
When practicing how to become multi-orgasmic, it’s necessary to familiarize yourself with your own point of no return and to not cross it. “With enough practice and exercise, these men said that they were ultimately able to have several orgasms when they have sex, with their last one being an ejaculatory orgasm,” Lehmiller says.
If you have a hard time delaying gratification, switching positions during sex can help you control ejaculation and erection.
Sex therapist Jane Greer suggests trying a sex position where you're easily able "to stand up and pull out before you ejaculate." ( May we recommend any of these? ) "That way, you can tighten your muscles right before the point of ejaculation so you can experience orgasm without ejaculation."
In The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know , authors Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams dedicate a large portion of their book to the importance of breathing.
Deep “belly breathing” or “diaphragm breathing” is a key to mitigating ejaculation, explain the authors. When you get close to ejaculating, your breath rate sharply increases as you take short and shallow breaths. This, in turn, also increases your heart rate. Slowing down both will help you better control ejaculating.
To practice belly breathing, sit on a chair with your back straight. Relax your shoulders and place your hands on your stomach. Inhale deeply through your nose, and feel your stomach expand. Your chest should not move. Each breath should last for at least three seconds. Get in the habit of doing this type of breathing daily. You can do it at work, while crossing the street, and (especially) when you find yourself stressed. The goal is for belly breathing to become your normal style of breathing.
Now, when you’re in the bedroom, you’ll notice both your breath and heart rate increase. This is when you really want to engage in belly breathing to help slow down your breathing and postpone ejaculation.
If you ask Play, the best way to achieve multiple orgasms involves stimulating the prostate, a.k.a. the "p-spot." The goal is to have a prostate orgasm (or anal orgasm ), a unique and satisfying sensation that doesn't necessarily involve penile ejaculation. In fact, some guys can have a prostate orgasm without even being hard.
The following section is Play's step-by-step guide, in his words, for achieving multiple orgasms through prostate stimulation.
"First of all, I recommend masturbation rather than partner play to start this exploration because you have a direct feedback loop, and without having to instruct someone else or worry about being comfortable, things are much simpler and more effective. Put on your favorite porn, or whatever you normally do to get in the mood. Start stimulating your penis to get to a certain level of arousal before anal penetration, ‘cause otherwise it can feel like a medical exam."
"For anal play I recommend the small end of the njoy pure wand . You can put it in lukewarm water to make it warm, and definitely use a good silicone lube! Move the toy around until you find the right spot, then use a rocking motion with your wrist joint to rock the njoy against the front wall of the rectum, applying pressure to the prostate."
"Start playing with the toy until you feel some sensation on your prostate. As you get close to orgasm, the prostate stimulation will start to feel way better than you ever thought it could. The first goal is just to have a blended orgasm while stimulating your prostate.
"Next time, do the same technique, but direct your attention even more to the sensations that are coming from your penis. Use stimulation of the penis to increase arousal, but as you get closer to orgasm, decrease or stop stimulating your penis and keep stimulating your prostate.
"Keep trying to edge yourself to orgasm, but stop stimulating your penis and try to get your prostate to be the one to push you over the hump. Instead of tensing, relax deeply and focus on your prostate and the sensations from stimulation. Do this enough that it gets you over the hump. Once you do, you’ll learn a completely different type of orgasm. It feels more like a full-body orgasm, and is very different than the kind you’ve had from penile stimulation.
"The more you do this, the more prostate stimulation you can apply, the more prostate orgasms you can have. To my surprise, what I’ve found is that after I have a prostate orgasm, my penis stays hard and is still responsive to sexual stimulation. If you continue to masturbate by touching your penis, you can immediately have another orgasm. Eventually, you can have more and more orgasms."
Maybe you don't want to have multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms, but just want to shorten your refractory period. In that case, make sure you have optimal testosterone levels—it'll make your orgasms better, too.
"Low T is often thought of as an older man’s problem, but I see it in a significant portion of men in their 20s, 30s, and 40s," Stegall says.
Even if your sex drive isn’t particularly low, Stegall advises guys over 30 to get their T-levels checked with a blood test by a doctor who specializes in anti-aging medicine and hormone replacement therapy. FYI, normal testosterone levels are between 300 and 1,000 nanograms per deciliter of blood.
Signs of low T include fatigue, decreased libido, fat gain, difficulty gaining muscle, mental fogginess, and depression.
"If a lot of guys in their 20s and 30s are honest with themselves, they’re probably dealing with at least some of these issues," Stegall says.
Low testosterone can be boosted naturally by eating a diet high in proteins and healthy fats, sleeping eight hours a night, and by lifting weights three to six times per week.
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS , at Civilized .
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So you want to learn how to have multiple orgasms. Who could blame you? While orgasms don’t have to be at the center of all your sexual encounters—forgoing orgasm-focused sex is great too—it’s completely normal to want to experience one orgasm after another. So if you’re someone who thinks “The more, the merrier” where orgasms are concerned, you’ve come to the right place. While there is no universal way to guarantee multiple orgasms, experts do have tips for making it happen. Read on for some of the best strategies for making multiple orgasms way more likely the next time you feel up for round two (or three or four).
Pretty much what it sounds like: “The term multiple orgasm generally refers to successive orgasms during a singular sexual encounter,” Jess O’Reilly , Ph.D., Astroglide’s resident sexologist, tells SELF. But it doesn’t automatically mean you’re orgasming over and over without a moment’s break. Multiple orgasms can present differently in different people.
“Some people experience a series of smaller orgasms culminating in a more powerful climax at the end,” says O’Reilly. “Others experience multiple orgasms in a row with very little or no time in between, and some find that their arousal levels dip before returning to plateau and orgasmic levels.”
First, some good news: If you have a vagina and a clitoris , your body is likely pretty dang primed to have multiple orgasms. That’s because your refractory periods—the breaks your body takes after an orgasm when the genitals are unresponsive to stimulation—are typically much shorter than those of penis-having people. “Because orgasm involves increases in circulation, heart rate , breath rate, brain activity, and muscular spasms, the refractory period serves as a natural way to bring your bodily functions back to their baselines,” says O’Reilly.
The clitoris often only needs a minute or two before it can handle more stimulation, she explains. As for penis-having people, their refractory periods can range “from several minutes to a full day or longer, and they tend to be longer with age,” says O’Reilly.
If you can typically orgasm the first time with no problem (though not everyone can, it’s important to remember), experts don’t see any logistical reason why you shouldn’t be able to have an encore. But don’t feel discouraged if you attempt it and can’t quite orgasm again. “Many [people with vaginas] have the potential to be multi-orgasmic, but there can be roadblocks,” ob-gyn Michael Krychman, M.D., executive director of the Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship Medicine , tells SELF. We’ll get to some of the roadblocks throughout the article as we talk about how to overcome them.
Ready? Let’s talk about how to have multiple orgasms.
If you’re here, we’re guessing you probably have that under control, but in case you don’t, you’ll want to focus on orgasm number one before planning for the reprise. Plenty of people with vaginas have trouble orgasming. There’s even a medical term for it: anorgasmia. According to the Mayo Clinic , a ton of factors can impact your ability to orgasm, such as mental issues (like stress or poor body image), physical issues (like taking certain medications ), or relationship issues (like lack of connection and communication).
All told, it might require a little digging to get to the root of the problem, but if there’s one thing to keep in mind, make sure you’ve tried utilizing the clitoris. Most people with vaginas require at least some clitoral stimulation to get off, per the Mayo Clinic. If you need some ideas, this article is full of anecdotes from people with vaginas, all about their favorite ways to orgasm.
After your first orgasm, it all comes down to experimentation. If your clitoris is so sensitive that you can’t bear to touch it, loop in the rest of your body. “Try different kinds of stimulation,” says Dr. Krychman. Maybe that’s playing with your breasts or having your partner kiss you everywhere except your clitoris. The point is to continue arousal in whichever form feels best for you. Go ahead with that for however long you like, and feel free to check back in with your clitoris when you think the sensitivity has abated.
You might also want to engage your other senses to keep your arousal up. Sensation play is the act of stimulating all your senses, such as using a blindfold to play with sight or working in pleasurable pain. Check out this article for tips on how to try sensation play.
On the other hand, sometimes toying around with a sensitive clitoris might actually be the ticket. According to O’Reilly, some people find that overstimulation can lead to an unexpected additional orgasm—and even if it doesn’t, you might still find it enjoyable in a hurts-so-good way. It’s all about what you can handle. If you’re into the feeling of oversensitivity, go for it. But if something hurts or you truly can’t see it leading to a pleasurable feeling, don’t keep going just for the sake of multiple orgasms.
Remember those roadblocks Dr. Krychman mentioned? A lot of them are often mental , like putting too much pressure on yourself to make it happen. Trying to have multiple orgasms because you feel like you have to for some reason is often a way to guarantee it won't happen. “A watched pot never boils,” says Dr. Krychman. “Focus on the journey.”
What that might mean for you is that setting out with the goal of multiple orgasms in mind is not the way to go. Experts often recommend taking the focus off of orgasms in order to have orgasms in general, so where multiple orgasms are concerned, try setting out to have a pleasurable session with your partner that’s longer than usual. Maybe it will include multiple orgasms, maybe it won’t. The point is to not try so hard.
Focusing on clenching your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle via Kegel exercises might also help with your orgasmic quest. “As you orgasm, press your hand over your entire vulva and pulse between contractions while squeezing your thighs together. You may be able to increase and intensify the orgasmic contractions and carry yourself to another
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