Two Girls Masturbate

Two Girls Masturbate
By Hannah Orenstein Published: Dec 4, 2017
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"I can't be the only one who does it, right?"
Masturbation — there , we said it. Touching yourself might feel taboo and you might be embarrassed to talk about it, but exploring your sexuality is totally normal. It's a healthy way to learn about yourself and your body, so you feel more comfortable when you're ready to have a sexual partner. (And hey, it's fun and feels good, too.) If you think you're the only one of your friends who has done it, you're probably not. Here, 18 girls open up about how they do it, how often they do it, and all the complicated feelings (pleasure, empowerment, happiness, embarrassment) that go along with it.
1. "I was 13 or 14 when I masturbated for the first time. I was watching TV with my grandma — I think it was Modern Family — and they brought up masturbation. I had no idea at that time what it even meant, but handy ol' Google quickly filled me in. I masturbated for the first time shortly after that. It was awkward at first. I tried the whole shower head thing to see what all the hype was about, but it didn't work for me. I probably masturbate twice a week now. I come from a very religious family, so I thought it was something to be ashamed of. Now, it's completely different. A girl's got needs." — Spencer, 17
2. "I was 15 years old when it first happened. Up until a few months ago, I was COMPLETELY embarrassed about masturbation. Each time I did it, I was ashamed that it happened and wished that it didn't. I knew this feeling would occur afterwards, but I always did it anyways. However, now that I'm entering college and defining who I am, I am realizing that it isn't something I should be ashamed of. I can't be the only one who does it, right? The feminist in me has given me the ability to feel empowered and in control of myself and what I want each time it happens." — Malia, 18
3. "I use my hand, read sexy stories, and fantasize about past experiences. I masturbate quite frequently actually — at least four times a week. I'm an open book when it comes to literally anything else, but when it comes to masturbation, I'd never admit to doing it. Honestly, typing, or even saying the words 'I masturbate,' feels so foreign and taboo. I'm not ashamed of doing it, I'm just super secretive about it." — Noelle, 17
4. "I started experimenting with masturbation last year. I was a little nervous about it, but when I attempted it, I felt a little pleasure and wasn't so turned off by the idea anymore. I usually do it before I go to bed so I fall asleep better. At first, I used a pillow to masturbate and just recently switched to doing it myself. There's so many good things that come from having an orgasm so why wouldn't you? You've got to learn what you like and figure yourself out before someone else can. " — Annaka, 17
5. "I started when I was 17. I had my first orgasm, and after that, it became something I had to do every night. I just tend to use clitoral stimulation because it's foolproof for me and it's what I am most comfortable with at the moment. " — Jackie, 19
6. "I was 19 years old and had just gotten out of a pretty bad relationship. One day when I was sad, my best friend/roommate said I need to lock myself in my room, explore my body and love myself. Ever since, I've been very open to masturbating and truthfully regret not pleasuring myself sooner. Since then, I would say I regularly masturbate maybe three times a week, whenever I have free time in my bed really. I use my hand and read stories from time to time. It's empowered me to take control of my body and dictate when and how I experience pleasure. In a society that prioritizes men's sexual pleasure over women's, I take pride in knowing that I love myself and deserve all the pleasure I want and enjoy." — Avery, 22
7. "My mom told me once that she saw me playing with myself when I was a toddler, but the first time I can remember masturbating was in my early teens, maybe 13 or 14. I think it was to a fan fiction. It was pretty clumsy, and I recall being more embarrassed and worried that someone would walk in on me than focused on pleasure. Now, it makes me feel happy and satisfied. It's nice to be able to take pleasure into your own hands... literally. " — Megan, 19
8. "I usually masturbate once a day. I have to have visuals, so I watch porn. It's hard for me to just imagine stuff. I'm not embarrassed that I masturbate; if we're close enough and you ask me, I won't deny it at all. Or sometimes when I'm texting my friends in the group chat I'll be like, "brb gonna go mb." It's completely normal. I used to be really ashamed about it, though." — Fran, 22
9. "I masturbate roughly one to three times a week. When I first started masturbating, I'd use either my fingers or my shower head. Now that I'm 18, I bought myself a vibrator. " — Jill, 18
10. "I was about 11 the first time I masturbated. It was kind of an accident. I had a pillow between my legs to keep them from sticking to each other, and next thing I knew, I was humping the pillow. I usually start off reading sexy stories on Tumblr or porn websites, hump my pillow, and then start to use my hand. I've never talked to anyone about masturbating because I feel like I'd get judged for doing it. But the older I get and the more I hear about women masturbating, the better I feel about it. I don't think of masturbating as a bad thing anymore." — Ada, 18
11. "I was probably like 15 my first time. It was a really awkward and clumsy experience, and I felt guilty for doing it. I just use my hand, and usually if I'm in the mood to do it, I really don't need to think about anything else to help. It makes me feel proud that I'm secure enough with myself and my body to do it. I'm not ashamed at all because theres nothing wrong with doing it. It's a great way to relieve stress." — Michaela, 17
12. "I was 18 when I first tried. It was a super uncomfortable feeling. I think because I felt like it was a 'dirty' thing to do — even though the reason I was trying it in the first place was to familiarize myself with my body while I'm alone so I'd be comfortable and know my body when I was with my boyfriend as our relationship got more serious. I just Googled how to do it. The website I read had a ton of different ways to do it. I used my shower head. I switched the water power setting to a soft little stream. I moved past feeling dirty or embarrassed about masturbating, because I realized how comfy I am with my body now. I'm proud that I'm so in tune with myself." — Jordyn, 19
13. "I was 17 the first time I did it. At first, I didn't know what to do, and then I kind of just learned to move my hips around to get different feelings. I like to fantasize about guys when I'm doing it and I let the faucet do all the work. I want to try it with a dildo or vibrator, but I just don't have the guts to go buy one and risk getting caught with it in my room." — Kelly, 19
14. " I've tried talking to my friends about masturbation. I think they felt uncomfortable and a little astonished that I was so open with my sexuality. I think masturbation is a completely normal and healthy expression of loving your body and who you are. Over the years, I've shifted from feeling guilty to feeling proud of my body." — Lacey, 17
15. "I usually use my hand, but sometimes when I'm really worked up I use a mini vibrator to amp things up. Typically I watch steamy videos, but sometimes I will read written stories as well. The very first time I masturbated, when I was 11 or 12, I was thrilled by it. I instinctively knew it was something I needed to keep to myself, but I apparently didn't do a very good job because about a week or so later, my mom came to talk to me about it (LOL). There was no shame involved, she just wanted me to make sure I only did it when I knew I had private time, as my little sister was in the house as well." — Tori, 23
16. "I stumbled across masturbating when I was 14. I used my fingers to rub my clit really quickly because that's how I thought you were 'supposed' to do it. I Googled tips. Eventually realized I liked slower motions and also lying under the bathtub faucet. I would've rather died than admit that I did it in high school, but once I got to college, my friends started talking about it more openly. That helped me feel comfortable talking about it, too." — Lauren, 22
17. "I was about nine or ten. I kind of stumbled upon it so it was pretty clumsily done. I remember being blown away with how good it felt. Since then, I just capitalized on what I felt and that's how I began masturbating. I masturbate anytime I really feel the need to. Sometimes I fantasize about different situations, read sexy stories, and I have a special playlist of pornos on my iPhone's Reading List that I watch. Growing up in a Christian community keeps me from talking so openly about it to my family, but my friends and I speak about it openly in our small circle." — Carla, 18
18. "I was 12 years old the first time I masturbated. It was an overwhelming experience; I didn't know what I was supposed to feel, and once I felt the rush, I didn't expect to feel it so strongly. I mostly just use my hand, but I've used my shower head a couple times before too. I actually read a lot of young adult books that have sex scenes in them and that would get me really aroused too." — Zaire, 21
Hannah Orenstein is the author of several novels, including Meant to Be Mine (out June 7, 2022), Head Over Heels, Love at First Like, and Playing with Matches. She's also the Deputy Editor of Dating at Elite Daily. She lives in Brooklyn.
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This just in: women masturbate! It's totally normal and healthy! Everyone does it! Yay! So, now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's talk about on-screen female masturbation scenes—which are pretty few and far between compared to their male equivalents because for some reason people get super uncomfortable with the idea that women like sex (opens in new tab) . And more specifically, like touching themselves.
Even now, this is considered pretty scandalous—so cheers to films and TV shows like Fleabag , Girls , The Deuce , and Reign for breaking taboos.
The scene: Single mom Bridgette [Shaw, who also created the series] masturbates to photos of her ex's new girlfriend after a hilariously failed attempt to get off with a vibrator earlier in the episode.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on it: “Part of what I’m drawn to when I’m writing is sort of a fantasy aspect [of women] and the secret life. So, a lot of this is a huge discrepancy between reality and women’s fantasy lives."
The scene: Fans think Sam and Gabe are on again in the season two premiere—until its revealed that their hot and heavy sex scene is actually Sam's fantasy, and that she's in bed alone with a vibrator.
Her comments on it: None, because BFD.
The scene: Aimee Gibbs gets in touch with her own sexuality during her first masturbation experience, trying out lots of positions and techniques to figure out what works for her.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on it: "It’s just so weird because [in school] you would hear boys talking about, 'Oh, I watched this video last night. I had the best wank, da-da-da-da-da.' They'd be shameless about it at school, and it was all the girls being like, 'I don't know what that is. We don't masturbate.' It was a complete taboo. I think debunking some of those myths about if a boy plugs away, a girl's going to have a great time, but no, girls need to be like, 'No, this is what I want.' So I'm really happy that that's in the show.
The scene: Textbook housewife Betty Draper is at home, doing housewifey chores, when she notices that the washing machine is shaking. Upon closer inspection, she realizes that the vibrating machine is actually totally fine and indulges in a fantasy.
Her comments on it: None, about the washing machine love scene. Jones has talked about Betty's sexuality more broadly, however, recalling (opens in new tab) that Mad Men creator Matt Weiner, "keeps telling me: 'She is a sexual person, she’s not some prude.'"
The scene: Samantha meets a very hot man of the cloth (Friar F*ck) and, given his vow of celibacy, she has to take care of her urges all on her own.
Her comments on it: None, because BFD.
The scene: Wasikowska's character, India, masturbates in the shower while thinking about her uncle committing murder on her behalf. The scene (like the entire movie) is a twisted exploration of the link between sex and violence—including a rare look at how the two intertwine from a female perspective.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on it: “If you’re gonna go there, you go there. The anticipation is worse than actually filming it. It’s a closed set, and they’re such specific, small shots, and they yell ‘Action!’ And then after you’re covered right up. So you’re not that exposed, thankfully!"
The scene: Titular character Fleabag is minding her own business masturbating in bed (as ya do)—the catch is her boyfriend's asleep next to her and she's masturbating to Obama videos.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on the scene: "Ah yes, the masturbating-to-Obama bit! That was in the play. Originally, she was looking for something to distract herself from having a bad wank so she turns on the news and, well…I mean, it's Obama, can you blame her?"
The scene: Rooney's character gives herself her first ever orgasm thanks to masturbation. Because you really don't need another person to enjoy yourself, mmmkay?
Her comments (opens in new tab) on the scene: "When they said we’d be doing that scene, I thought 'Yeah I’ll do that. Why not?' How many times have you seen a boy having a wank? All the time! It’s all they talk about! I thought: 'Let’s do it for the girls.'"
The scene: Marnie masturbates in a public bathroom while leaning against the door.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on it: "A scene like [that] just gets added to the pile and gets smushed in. It's been really interesting being interviewed and being asked about it so much, because I'm like, 'Oh, yeah, well there have been seven episodes since that scene.' I also feel like we are showing these very intimate, private and specific moments in our characters' lives and it just sort of is a part of Marnie's puzzle."
The scene: Lest you forget, Reign is a CW show. And CW shows don't typically show sex, let alone masturbation. But this scene features a royal bedding ceremony with witnesses—one of whom is so turned on that she runs away to masturbate.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on it: "This is the thing: I don't care about being naked on screen. I don't care about masturbating on screen; I don't care about sex scenes on screen . The aftermath is fine; I don't care who sees it. It's the actual process of filming it that sucks. It's unsexy, it's incredibly technical, it's incredibly boring and also incredibly embarrassing. You're just like writhing around in front of a group of maybe 30 dudes because the set is primarily men…. But the act of a woman actually taking care of herself in that way is incredibly powerful."
The scene: Gyllenhaal's character masturbates after sex thanks to not orgasming during the deed itself. Relatable!
Her comments (opens in new tab) on the scene, and why she *asked* for it to be included: " I thought here’s all this performative sex, all this transactional sex. I wanted to know what her desire looks like. And after we filmed it, he was like, 'Okay. Okay. We’re okay. We have made something feminist. We have.'"
The scene: Beth's roommate finds her masturbating in the bathtub with a shower head. Everything happens off screen, but the hijinks!
Her comments on it: None, because BFD.
The scene: Boo is seen getting off with the end of a screwdriver, because when in jail, you gotta make due.
Her comments on it: "I jumped up and down like a little girl. I was that excited. Because I knew it was going to be something that people will remember. And indeed, it is. The first take, I started laughing because I made the mistake of thinking about what I was doing. That's a huge mistake when acting—you shouldn't think about it. So, the first take was one of the first shots on our gag reel. It was me, starting to masturbate, and howling with laughter. It's just like, 'What am I doing? I'm getting paid to do this.' I can't tell you how many people have asked me to autograph their screwdrivers."
The scene: Glazer performs her "pre-masturbation ritual," which involves a mirror, candles, and a giant vibrator. Treat yourself.
Her comments (opens in new tab) on female sexuality on the show in general: "It's like these girls are horny but not under the male gaze. They're horny, period. Just starting from the vagina, not starting from some man looking at them."
The scene: Adams' very pregnant character masturbates in bed while looking at a photo of her husband.
Her comments on it: While talking about the most difficult scene to film in the movie, Adams said "It's a toss up between the masturbation and the hospital...it was such an intimate and vulnerable moment."
The scene: Allen is seen masturbating in the bathtub as the screen changes from black to color.
Her comments on it: None, because BFD.
The scene: Kate Walsh's character masturbates while sleep walking.
Her comments on it: "We actually shot all of those on the second day of shooting. [Director Courteney Cox] was great; she made me feel super safe."
The scene: Gyllenhaal's character fantasizes about her boss while masturbating.
Her comments on sex in the film: "I love the fact that people wanna talk about sex. I mean, I wanna talk about sex, too."
The scene: Rachel is masturbating to porn with a vibrator in the back of a van.
Her comments on it: "The opening and closing scenes of episode 105 of UnREAL really sparked a conversation. Who knew a women pleasuring herself would be so newsworthy."
The scene: Keough's character, an escort, enjoys watching herself masturbate.
Her comments on it: "We wanted to show things that you don't really see, like the girl getting her period or the girl masturbating… You really feel like you're creeping in on this girl, so it's a bit uncomfortable. It's not like we're showing her masturbate just to have a masturbation scene. It's showing every part of this person and her private moments."
The scene: Her
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