Twinks Love

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Twinks Love
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Four short films explore love, growth, and pain in intimate relationships between men. In "Death in Venice, CA," a stressed-out academic succumbs to the temptations of his landlady's 17-year... Read all Four short films explore love, growth, and pain in intimate relationships between men. In "Death in Venice, CA," a stressed-out academic succumbs to the temptations of his landlady's 17-year old step-son. "Achilles" tells the story of Achilles and Patroclus during the siege of Tr... Read all Four short films explore love, growth, and pain in intimate relationships between men. In "Death in Venice, CA," a stressed-out academic succumbs to the temptations of his landlady's 17-year old step-son. "Achilles" tells the story of Achilles and Patroclus during the siege of Troy. Pride costs Achilles the love of his life. In "My Polish Waiter," a chatty young man, ... Read all
George Camarda (segment Miguel, Ma Belle) P. David Ebersole (segment Death in Venice, CA) Terracino (segment My Polish Waiter)
Terracino (segment My Polish Waiter)
George Camarda (segment Miguel, Ma Belle) P. David Ebersole (segment Death in Venice, CA) Terracino (segment My Polish Waiter)
Terracino (segment My Polish Waiter)
Edited from Death in Venice, CA (1994)
This reinterpretation of Death in Venice is a must. Too short though, well... it is a short movie as one should know. All the actors are perfect. Every detail counts (action taking place in Venice CA) and allusions to the famous movie -a delight to spot out - are everywhere in the plot, the set, the charactors, etc. A real pleasure.
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These guys had been through the emotional throes of dating, and ultimately, they had been able to fall in love again – even multiple times. I needed to know their secrets.
Jul 13, 2016, 01:40 PM EDT | Updated Jul 13, 2016
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We had about twenty minutes before he had to leave for the airport. The image I had conjured of the thirty-two-year-old currently en route to my front door from our meager interaction on Grindr was as telling as a police report: an assumed age, height, and weight, as well as one scrupulously selected profile picture. And often enough, the photo too ended up a rough sketch. These physical characteristics as well as a few words – “What are you into?” – were all that had been exchanged between me and this city planner from Washington D.C.
This was last summer when I had just turned twenty-two, fresh off the boat from flirting with my first serious relationship. I was seasick, and as this older man and I hit the sheets, I found that my body struggled to deliver what I had ordered.
When everything physical was said and done, we nestled in my bed together where I offered my condolences for my sexual underperformance. “I’m sorry, you’re just the first guy since my breakup,” I said. Confidently, he checked the time on his iPhone, which was perched on my nightstand and looked up at me. “Well, there’s good news and there’s bad news. Which do you want first?” he asked.
“The bad, always,” I responded. With texture, he said, “The bad news is that it won’t get any easier. Losing love. The good news is that you’ll get more used to the pain.”
The insight that this perfect stranger offered me resonated with me throughout the process of that first true heartbreak. And it dawned upon me: older gay men may hold some of the answers. These are people whose sex lives pre-date apps like Grindr or Scruff, and they may have even evaded the widespread millennial mentality of quickly finding something defective with a new lover, only to start brainlessly swiping again.
For me, older gay men came to symbolize the one thing more inspiring than heartbreak: rebirth. These guys had been through the emotional throes of dating, and ultimately, they had been able to fall in love again – even multiple times. I needed to know their secrets.
Dating back to pederasty in Ancient Greece, there has existed a sincere social bond between older gay men and male youth – perhaps in the form of today’s “bears” and “twinks” – where intimacy was mingled with the dispensing of emotional intellect. By all means, in Greek culture, this relationship was considered an education. But today, relationships between older gay men and younger gay men are seemingly plagued by peer judgment over presumptive motivations.
Admittedly, I have been one to shy away from intimate encounters with men much older than me in the past. Most of my gay cohort, as well as previous partners, had exposed their +/- four-year rule to me out of fear that they would be deemed “sugar babies” for taking interest in somebody markedly older. A lot of gay men around my age assume that older gay men, on the other hand, are mainly into younger gay men for the sex, perhaps so the youth can somehow rub off on them in bed like some heavy cologne. Still, many ask: “What really would you and an older man have in common?”
But that’s the whole point. Older gay men know things I don’t. If people undress the “ick” factor, isn’t this connection simply another ripe learning experience not dissimilar to one gained through relations with somebody of a matching age?
Today, online dating apps have intersected many gay men of differing ages and backgrounds. And though these apps may be seen as grassroots one-night stand delivery services, they also provide rich, rare inter-age experiences where younger and older gay men, already comfortable under the veil of physical intimacy, can communicate and dispense insight into the minefield that is the modern gay dating world.
Though I do often tend towards men my own age, I also love to reflect on the rhetoric I’ve heard from men who have been in the business a bit longer. Now, I see that long-term relationships are a plausible goal – and that they don’t necessarily have to be based on black-and-white monogamy. But with the little experience I have, that still somehow appeals the most.
Follow Jack Rushall on Twitter: https://twitter.com/jackrushallnow


Hundreds of photographs from the 19th and 20th centuries offer a glimpse at the life of gay men during a time when their love was illegal almost everywhere.



by
Hrag Vartanian
October 23, 2020 May 23, 2022


2 replies on “100 Years of Photographs of Gay Men in Love”

A beautiful group of photographs that spans a century (1850–1950) is part of a new book that offers a visual glimpse of what life may have been like for those men, who went against the law to find love in one another’s arms. In Loving: A Photographic History of Men in Love 1850s–1950s , hundreds of images tell the story of love and affection between men, with some clearly in love and others hinting at more than just friendship. The collection belongs to Hugh Nini and Neal Treadwell, a married couple who has accumulated over 2,800 photographs of “men in love” during the course of two decades. While the majority of the images hail from the United States and are of predominantly white men, there are images from Australia, Bulgaria, Canada, Croatia, France, Germany, Japan, Latvia, and the United Kingdom among the cache.
What do images of men in love during a time when it was illegal tell us? What are we looking for in the faces of these people who dared to challenge the mores of their time to seek solace together? Flipping through the book, it wasn’t that I felt that I learned a great deal about being LGBTQ, but what gave me comfort was the feeling that we’re not going anywhere. Seeing ourselves in the past is as much about being certain of our present and, dare I say, our future. When we see them as connected, we feel more whole, and that’s what love is about for many of us anyway.
The book, Loving: A Photographic History of Men in Love 1850s-1950s (5 Continents Editions), is available online.
What is an art book, anyway? I’m not sure this fair helped me come closer to any kind of definition. And for that, I am grateful.
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Hrag Vartanian is editor-in-chief and co-founder of Hyperallergic. You can follow him at @hragv.
More by Hrag Vartanian

Hyperallergic is a forum for serious, playful, and radical thinking about art in the world today. Founded in 2009, Hyperallergic is headquartered in Brooklyn, New York.
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