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Home Stickman's Weekly Column 2011 April Phuket For Naughty Boys

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Your Bangkok commentator since 1998

Stickman's Weekly Column
›
April 24th, 2011

It's 5 long years since I stepped foot in Phuket, the island I used to love and where I originally planned to settle in Thailand. After settling in Bangkok, I initially visited Phuket each year, but over time found myself becoming less and less impressed.
It is 5 years since my last visit, a drought I broke this week.

Phuket is one of the jewels in Thailand's tourism industry, the most developed island with some of the best beaches and the most sophisticated resort developments. Think of Phuket and pristine beaches lined with deckchairs and sun umbrellas come
to mind.

But Phuket is not just sun and sand. Visitors flock to soak up the sun's rays, eat great seafood and be pampered in world class spas. But there's another aspect to Phuket which draws visitors. Nightlife.

Phuket may not have the same reputation as Bangkok or Pattaya, but the island's foreigner-oriented naughty nightlife industry is large.

The centre of Phuket's nightlife is Bangla Road. Running perpendicular to Patong Beach, there's beer bars, gogo bars, discos and freelancer venues lining Bangla Road and firmly putting Phuket on the naughty boy's map.
While Patong's nightlife is similar to what you find in Bangkok and Pattaya, it has its own distinctive flavour. Perhaps the biggest difference is that, for the most part, the customers in the naughty bars in Patong are young, often
fit and handsome guys. The depressing scenes of Bangkok and especially Pattaya, of tired guys who have let themselves go isn't the norm in Patong at all. Phuket probably has the youngest and most handsome sex tourists in all of Thailand.

There are clusters of beer bars all over Patong, Phuket's most popular beach, as well as the other beaches of Phuket, but the largest concentration and the most attractive bars and girls are found on Bangla Road.

Bangla Road features sois of beer bars including Soi Eric, Soi Easy, Soi Seadragon and Club Croc, once known as Soi Crocodile, the soi famous for the ladyboys who have been dancing and milling around the mouth of the soi for as long as I have been visiting
Phuket.

Phuket has the best beer bars in all of Thailand. They're better decorated, better maintained and have much prettier girls than what you find elsewhere. But then things should be better because you pay a premium. The price of drinks in some bars
exceeds what you pay in the most expensive gogos in Bangkok. A Pattaya retiree who had failed to check the price list before ordering a drink in a Bangla beer bar might have a heart attack.

The beer bar girls of Bangla are a step up from what you find in the beer bars in Pattaya. They're invariably younger, prettier and often dressed more sexy. The bars are dominated by the maidens of Isaan, but there are southern girls amongst them,
something you don't tend to find in Bangkok or Pattaya. But behind the sexy dress, it's much the same – the same mannerisms, same lack of manners and same games played.

A number of the beer bar complexes, such as that below Tiger Disco, feature coyote dancers. In Bangkok, coyote dancers are often very attractive ladies who really can dance. But what sets them apart from gogo girls is that they often aren't available
– which frustrates many customers because they tend to be more attractive!

Things get going later on Bangla Road than they do up north. While many bars are open throughout the day, by early evening pretty much everywhere has its doors open, but beer bar birds don't show up until well into the evening and the discos, the
domain of freelancers – of which there are many – don't get going until midnight or later.

Wandering down Bangla at 7:15 one morning, Soi Easy was emptying itself of the last patrons of the night. Hordes of Thai birds and Western guys, many in a sorry state, were staggering up Bangla with bottles in their hand, glazed eyes and unable to walk
in a straight line.

While Bangla jumps with sexual energy after dark, the sleaze factor of Bangkok and Pattaya is largely absent. Whether it's because the naughty boys are a younger, fitter bunch, I'm not sure.

Patong might have the youngest and arguably most wholesome of all of Thailand's naughty boys , but the profile of the average visitor to Phuket is changing. Hoteliers and bar owners tell me that as a total percentage of all visitors,
single males make up a smaller proportion of visitors than they used to.

Different bar areas around Thailand have their nuances that distinguish them from other areas. Bangla is no exception. A curiosity I have never understood is the cross section of a large log found outside some bars. For a small fee you can buy a nail,
are given a hammer with a small head and you have to pound the nail into the log. To me it seems totally pointless, so I guess I must be missing something. You often see the girls hammering nails into the log when no customers are arou
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