Twink Hunk Scale

Twink Hunk Scale
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A Comprehensive Field Guide to the Men of League of Legends
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Obviously, not all the dudes are here, because frankly the pyramid doesn't have enough space to fit everyone. The pyramid mostly speaks for itself but here are some explanations anyway, from Top to Right to Left.
Bear: This is the obvious joke and I'm not budging from it
Other Choices: Ornn, despite being a ram, because League has some weird aversion to drawing body hair on people so there's not a whole lot of competition for the top spot.
Bearish: This is a second obvious joke and I'm not budging from it, also. If I wasn't going for the jokes, Udyr would honestly still be "Bear," I'd promote Graves to "Bearish," and Darius would get the spot of "Hunkish Bear." But the obvious jokes were simply too good to pass up.
Other Choices: Gragas, who is definitely large enough to be a Bear but just... isn't hairy enough, in spite of his glorious beard.
Hunkish Bear: Not quite as Bear-y as Volibear or Udyr because he's just a bit less bulky/hairy than the two of them, but Graves sure gives them a run for their money.
Other Choices: Darius, probably? The scars bump him up a lot from being a Bunk, I'm not gonna lie.
Bunk: The reason Braum is here and not up with the other Bears despite probably being the most swole out of all of them, is because he lacks one distinctive feature that all Bears require: body hair. Sure, he spouts an impressive mustache but his chest and his arms are as bald as his head. Unfortunately, this relegates him to the "Bunk" category.
Bearish Hunk: Waffled a bit between J4 and Darius here, but ultimately I decided if I was going to put Darius anywhere it'd have to be "Hunkish Bear" instead. J4's more Hunk than Bear anyway - he hasn't quite got the Bear's build or hirsuteness, but he's close.
Hunk: I mean, who else is going to take this spot besides Taric?
Hunkish: I will admit, I struggled with this one. Ultimately I decided that Lee Sin was the closest, because he's got a build that's just a little too bulky to be Hunk, but not bulky enough to be Bear.
Twinkish Hunk: Body of a hunk, but Jayce's face is just a bit too twinkish to fully be a hunk. He's close, though.
Twunk: "That's combination Twink and Hunk" and honestly who was going to take this from Rakan?
Other Choices: Vladimir, and even though I feel like you could put a lot of other champs in this category, you gotta remember that a big part of being a Twunk... is the attitude. You gotta own it, you gotta KNOW you're a Twunk and make sure OTHER PEOPLE know you're a Twunk, and those two really are the only ones that would do that.
Hunkish Twink: Kayn sure likes to show off his abs and chest but he's definitely a twink, he's just a slightly more muscular twink.
Other Choices: Okay maybe it's just my Talon bias showing but I really can't see him as anything more Twink than Hunkish Twink. I mean his face is just so chiseled and so not... Twinkish. I know in the lore he's supposed to be like, Katarina's adopted little brother (this hasn't been retconned, to my knowledge) but he has the voice of a chain smoker and he just... I just don't think he's a Twink. I can't see it. Maybe I'm the blind one all along.
Twinkish: Lucian's just too skinny to be anything further than this, sorry, I don't make the rules I just enforce them.
Other Choices: People brought up Varus and while I'd argue Heartseeker Varus is more of a Twunk, there's really no getting around that base Varus is definitely a great candidate for Twinkish. Good work, everyone.
Twink: Obvious choice is obvious. Ekko could be here too but Ezreal's like, the posterboy for twinks so he took the spot.
Bearish Twink: Basically the opposite of Jayce: Xin's got the body of a Twink, but the potential of a Bear in his face.
Cub: TF might be skinny like a twink but you know that man is absolutely covered in body hair. He has the makings of a Bear; he's just not swole enough yet.
Other Choices: Draven who, like TF, has the makings of a Bear but isn't quite there yet. But if his brother's enormous build is anything to go by, he just needs to drink like 500 protein shakes and start lifting more and he'll get there.
Twinkish Bear: Tryndamere kind of has the same issue as Braum - super buff, body of a Bear, but no body hair to back it up. But whereas Braum is definitely more Hunk, Trynd is just slightly closer to Twink, but just slightly.
No Leaning: This one was tough because the men of League tend to be PRETTY FAR in one direction or the other, but I feel like if you're looking at the convergence of Twink, Hunk, and Bear, Yasuo is a good balan- wait, I should have put Shen here, he's all about "balance," of course he'd be No Leaning, god damnit I've missed such an opportunity.
Edit: I missed a lot of the guys because the pyramid isn't big enough, so went ahead and added in some "alternate options" considered when making this chart. A lot of people had really good ideas. I can't believe I didn't think of Varus for "Twinkish."
I thought I was in r/gaymers for a second
Straights are coming quick hide the thirsty posts
talon could be twinkish honestly he looks like kind of guy who would say i am straight and moan like a fat grill eating twinkies while anal sex
This is what i come to this sub for
Only if graves is the one filling him
Requires him to not be tilted, premise invalid.
I hope OP continues this research for science.
The Field Guide is constantly being updated as new information and arguments come in.
AAAAAHHHHHH I came into this thread prepared to make so many gay jokes and then realized this was already the gayest thread. Thank you for making my day!
I think of all of them, Lucian is the worst fit. I had a really hard time finding someone for "Twinkish." Originally had Ekko but he's really more "Twink" than "Twinkish."
The two other people I was bouncing ideas off of for this suggested Talon for "Twinkish" but I really can't see him as anything less than a Twunk, so I pulled Lucian into the role instead. But I agree he's probably not the best for it.
Twinkish Hunk: Body of a hunk, but Jayce's face is just a bit too twinkish to fully be a hunk. He's close, though.
We have the Debonair daddy skin for this reason
Still waiting for Officer (stripper) Jayce skin
this made me laugh out loud, so good :')
butch/femme scale? holy shit i'd like that

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The casting director, a Dutch man in his 50s with a large paunch, looked at me, his eyes darting around my body. "Take off your top and show me your torso," he said. I was exhausted after 14 hours of castings, and so I did what I was told and removed my undershirt to reveal my rather pallid chest. After a quick glance, the casting director returned to his seat in the adjacent room and muttered to his stylist, "He's beautiful, but he's fat." Sound travels easily in a hard-floored warehouse; I had moved to the changing room, but I heard his words clearly. I felt humiliated.
I had walked the catwalk twice at Paris Fashion Week, worked with a range of talented photographers and stylists, and was part of a world filled with staggeringly beautiful people. But this wasn't the first time I had been called overweight, despite my jutting rib cage and hips. At a fitting for a Japanese menswear show in Paris in the summer of 2014, a group of elderly women from the designer's team gathered behind me to laugh and lightly slap my buttocks as the material stretched to cover my rear. On another shoot, a stylist who had started drinking vodka at 9 a.m. told me I was "handsome" but needed to "stop being lazy and do some fucking crunches." I didn't like any of it—and I certainly didn't like being called "beautiful" but "fat." I decided then, that summer, to quit modeling.
When most people think of exploitation in modeling, they think of young women and girls walking the catwalk with alarmingly protruding hips and angular shoulders, or they remember the lurid tales of celebrity photographers manipulating or coercing young women into sex acts. Muscle-bound male models with perfect cheekbones and fat paychecks? They do not seem like obvious victims. But as I found during my short career as a male model, men and boys are increasingly at risk in the odd, unregulated workplace that is the fashion world. Being a man does not make you safe: Male models are often subject to sexual harassment but rarely report it. And, like their female counterparts, they are under intense pressure to have just the right kind of body. Recent menswear trends have polarized male catwalk modeling, encouraging either extreme muscularity or waifish androgyny. Want to look like that? It will likely make you sick.
And there's another factor that makes male models more vulnerable today: Emerging East Asian economies have created a demand for designer clothes and consequently for models. Growing numbers of young models, both men and women, are heading to Asia, far from their families and support networks, and working in poorly regulated conditions that leave them at risk of being overworked and underpaid. It turns out that being really, really, really good-looking—as Ben Stiller's male model character Derek Zoolander describes himself—will not guarantee you wealth, health or security.
Sam Thomas, founder of the U.K.-based charity Men Get Eating Disorders Too, is highly critical of recent shifts in the fashion industry. "There has certainly been a trend in which some male models are getting younger and definitely skinnier," says Thomas. The industry seems "particularly polarized right now," he says, with hypermuscular looks becoming increasingly popular at the same time as demand has surged for waifish male models.
Sara Ziff, founder of the Model Alliance, a New York City nonprofit labor organization advocating for greater protection of models, says male models face a uniquely difficult situation. "I definitely think that men have just as many labor-related concerns as women, if not more," says Ziff, a longtime model. "The industry urgently needs reform. It's an industry that has escaped any real regulation for decades."
The models and insiders I spoke with for this story were often hesitant to talk for fear of reprisals, and many requested anonymity. Their insights reveal an industry struggling to safeguard some of its youngest employees—many of whom have very little employment protection, are ill-informed of their rights and suffer from a culture of silence that protects the abusers within the industry who are considered too powerful to confront.
At the age of 20, I fell for that world. It seemed to me like easy money and a shortcut to joining a glamorous elite. But after a year of dabbling in the industry, I realized it was making me miserable. Sure, I had become part of a rarefied world cordoned off from the public—and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't enjoyed that—but to remain part of that elite I was expected to work unpaid to gain a degree of celebrity that never came. I had to cope with relentless pressure to keep my weight down, and my agency bookers expected me to attend castings for up to 17 hours a day in the run-up to fashion week. And there was this: The money turned out to be lousy. While a male model might earn a few thousand dollars for a major show and maybe in the tens of thousands for an international campaign, many magazine shoots are unpaid, and small shows often pay only a few hundred. I felt exploited, as did many of my peers, and yet all of us felt we couldn't speak out because getting a reputation as being "difficult" or "demanding" could kill your fledgling career. So we kept posing and we kept quiet.
I became a model in 2013, when I was in my third year of studying English and French literature at Oxford University. I had moved to Paris as part of my studies, and my teenage interest in fashion was reborn. I had always been excited by the pace of the industry and found the processes behind designing and creating these garments fascinating. But I had never considered working as a model.
Three days after arriving in Paris in September 2013, I headed out to a gay club, exhausted (from the move) and a little drunk (from the vodka). A guy across the room with stubble and chiseled cheekbones caught my attention; when I ventured out into the street for a cigarette, he followed. He asked for a light and then asked if I was a model. I told him it was a terrible pickup line. He told me he was a casting director and invited me to his studio a few days later, took some photos and added me to his database.
The following weekend, we shot a series of portraits. A few weeks later, he cast me in a music video. And a few months later, he sent me to one of Paris's most prestigious modeling agencies. Its verdict? That I was "unsuitable."
A chance encounter with another casting director in early 2014 led to an invitation to visit a modeling agency. I posed for a few Polaroids, wrote down my measurements and awaited the decision. The booker—a kind, freckled man in his 30s—looked me up and down as I stood by the window of his fifth-floor studio, whispering to his assistant. "You could do with some exercise," he said finally, as though I was an out-of-season racehorse, "but we'd love you to come on board."
In spite of my reservations, I felt a flood of nervous euphoria. I couldn't help but be seduced by the idea that I would be paid mountains of cash to lounge around and have my face splashed across billboards. And then I began working, and reality hit: To be a model is to accept that you are a product as well as a person. You are also a target for sexual predators.
At first, I was relatively oblivious to the extent of the sexual harassment and abuse in the industry. Serious propositions and sexual advances are often framed as jokes, allowing the powerful figures who make them—photographers, editors and casting directors—to dismiss them as such should they be declined. In September 2013, while I was shooting a music video, a fashion consultant in his 60s spent the day making inappropriate comments and asking if what was "down there" was as "intoxicating" as my "handsome face." I ignored him and moved away when he repeatedly brushed against me. As he slid past me, he stroked his hand across my lower back and slapped my backside.
A few weeks later, an editor offered to shoot me for the cover of his magazine, with the caveat that I pose naked and join him for a "romantic" dinner that evening. I said I wasn't interested, but he messaged me regularly throughout the year. His messages became increasingly graphic, including sending me links to porn videos and images of another model whose career he claimed to have launched. In June 2014, a photographer tried to make me commit to orgies while on a shoot, with the promise of getting me "exposure." He also convinced me and the other male model I was shooting with to strip down to our underwear in the middle of the Bois de Vincennes, a wooded area southeast of Paris.
At times, these powerful men behave with a remarkable sense of impunity: While I was conducting research for this article, one powerful fashion designer, high on cocaine, repeatedly sent me unsolicited naked videos when I attempted to arrange an interview.
In some ways, I got off lightly. Matthew, a British model, signed up with his first agency while he settled into life in Paris (a few months later, he joined Elite, the world's leading agency). He soon found himself in the studio of a photographer who overstepped the mark.
"It was horrible," says Matthew, which is his real first name. He has now quit modeling and is a student living in London. "He made me take all my clothes off, including my underwear. His rationale was that he needed to get me over the phase of being awkward and make me more comfortable in my own body."
Exposing the photographer was impossible, Matthew says. "I couldn't complain b
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