Twink Fingering

Twink Fingering
Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on March 31, 2022
Here's what to do and what to say -- because how you react matters.
Masturbation is a very natural and healthy part of childhood. And it can start at a younger age than you might think.
"It's the beginning of a lifelong learning experience about their bodies and, later, about sex and sexuality," says David Swanson, PsyD, a child and family psychologist practicing in Los Angeles and author of HELP -- My Kid Is Driving Me Crazy: The 17 Ways Kids Manipulate Their Parents, and What You Can Do About It .
Young kids touch themselves primarily for two reasons. The first is for pleasure. "In the beginning stages starting between ages 3 and 5, kids are exploring their bodies. They learn what feels good, and they'll continue to touch themselves," Swanson explains. The second reason is for stress reduction and relaxation.
Masturbation becomes goal-driven around age 10. Boys in particular are trying to get to the point of orgasm, and at around 11 or 12, they may start seeking pornographic material. "Parents need to be careful about what kids can access online," Swanson says.
What should you do if you find your child touching themselves? Keep in mind that reactions matter. When adults become angry or tell their children that masturbating is wrong, it creates a lot of tension for them, Swanson says. "You want to teach children that it's OK to explore their bodies."
When faced with your child's sexual exploration, Swanson has these tips for approaching the conversation.
Cool down. Charged parental reactions to masturbation often create shame. Leave the room if you're upset, then come back to address the behavior calmly.
Private business. Young kids need to learn when and where it's acceptable to masturbate. Tell them, "You're learning about your body right now. It's nothing to be ashamed of; it's natural. But I insist you do it in private." By age 6, kids should be clear on this point.
Picture perfect. Redirect your preteen away from adult sexual images, which can negatively affect how they view other people. Say, "I understand you are curious and want to learn, so we can buy a book that talks about sex." Then buy one that is age-appropriate and after your child reads it, answer any questions that come up.
David Swanson, Psy.D., child and family psychologist, Los Angeles, Calif.; author of HELP -- My Kid is Driving Me Crazy: The 17 Ways Kids Manipulate Their Parents and What You Can Do About It, Perigree, 2009.
© 2005 - 2022 WebMD LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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Having never been a boy, I had no idea about all the weird shit boys do to get off. Even though I had a big brother, I wasn’t privy to the vast array of strange self-satisfying tools and tricks teenage boys have up their sleeves. That is, until I met my husband and he told me a hilarious story about why he loved climbing the pole at school.
“At first,” he explained, “I just climbed because I liked to see how fast I could get to the top. But one day when I climbed something weird happened. It felt really good. Like, so good I would make sure to climb that pole every morning and every lunch.”
Even as my own sons grew, I didn’t understand just how resourceful boys could be, until I questioned my then-12-year-old about why he had a giant box of condoms in his bedroom.
His hesitation should have been my first clue.
“Well, umm,” he said. “I use them to, uh, you know…”
“To what?” I asked. I had no idea what he was trying to say.
“Oh. Oh, well, OK,” was all I managed to say.
A week later, while out for drinks with my girlfriends, who also had teen boys, I asked if that was normal.
“I don’t know about condoms,” my friend Tammy said, “but I found out my son Charlie was using socks.”
“Socks?” I had never heard of boys sexualizing slippers.
“Yeah, socks. Your boys don’t do that?” Tammy asked. “Well, Charlie does. I swear I won’t even touch his laundry anymore. All it took was one time grabbing a sock that was hard as a rock and I was done. It was nasty!”
Learning about socks, and laughing my ass off watching the Bridesmaids scene where a mom describes cracking her son’s comforter, made me curious about what other means boys employ to get their (pun intended) socks off.
Naturally, I first turned to my husband and sons to learn more. I was in for a surprise with their answers.
Like machine gun fire, my eldest son listed his favorite masturbation props.
“Let’s see, there’s good old wadded-up toilet paper, towels, even shirts. Heck, I’ll use dirty laundry if it’s there. Whatever is within reach, really,” he shared. As he spoke, my younger son nodded his head emphatically.
“Anything else?” I asked. I was all business. Hey, who was I to judge? As a teen, I’d had an amorous moment or two with my favorite bottle of perfume, Love’s Baby Soft, which, if anyone remembers, was totally shaped like a dildo.
“OK, don’t laugh, but one time I put my penis in the vacuum hose,” my youngest said.
“While it was on?” I asked. I’d lost my deadpan expression the moment I picture my son losing his penis in a vacuuming accident.
“Yeah, but it was on low, don’t worry,” he reassured me. “It didn’t feel that good, so I only did it once.”
“Oh, what about paper towel rolls?” my oldest added. “And that time I used the cantaloupe?”
Even my husband was shocked at the cantaloupe revelation. Fruit. Really? I thought that was only a thing women in prison did.
“And the trash can,” my youngest said. Was nothing sacred?
By the end of our conversation, I had the idea that my sons, and probably all teenage boys, used anything and everything at their disposal to masturbate.
With my curiosity quelled, I had to wonder if my quest for knowledge was a worthy endeavor. Honestly, I’ll probably never look at a cantaloupe the same way again, but I am grateful I had this awkward, yet illuminating, discussion with my kids.
They felt confident enough to be real, knowing full well I would write this information and share it with the world. It may seem like too much for some parents, but talks like these let me know that my sons can truly be open with me about any subject, no matter how uncomfortable. Like, penis-in-a-vacuum uncomfortable. Ouch.
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