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iConfess: A shower that turned me into a ‘lesbian’
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Why do modern women choose the path of lesbianism? It may sound like a philosophical question, but we’ll try to dig a little bit deeper to shed light on this issue. For many years, homosexuality has been considered a serious psychological disorder that violated all religious and moral principles, according to which women could maintain sexual relationships with men only. But for the better of worse, time works great changes.
In 1973 American Psychiatric Association decided to strike homosexuality off the list of mental diseases and provide psychological support to these extraordinary personalities. In a quite short period of time, sexual revolution broadened humanity’s moral horizons and gave people freedom to change their sexual orientation. Today, lesbians don’t fear to talk about their sexual orientation, because homosexuality has gradually become the part of a modern society.
Scientists and researchers surveyed a great number of homosexual women and came to a conclusion that lesbianism can be caused by various physiological and psychological factors. They still think that homosexuality is a psychological disorder, triggered by misunderstanding, dysfunctional family atmosphere, violence, inferiority and social vulnerability. Women with high levels of testosterone in their blood are more likely to become lesbians too. Read on to find out a lot of interesting things about women and understand why they become lesbians.
Negative family environment is often the main reason for many psychological disorders, because during the pre-adolescent and adolescent periods, family issues and a lack of contact between parents and children exert a big negative influence on the child’s personality development.
Psychologists state that the latent tendency towards lesbianism is embedded in the subconscious mind of every girl. The life path and sexual orientation the girl will sooner or later choose, depends mostly on the process of upbringing and the role of parents in her life. During the transformation from a girl to a woman, every girl faces a great number of questions and inner contradictions that create her identity. If she doesn’t find correct answers to these important questions and parents can’t get their daughter in the right frame of mind, the girl starts living according to her own beliefs, rules and values.
It’s wonderful when the emotional connection between a mother and a daughter is profound and strong enough. Lack of maternal warmth and support make daughters open their hearts to female friends. There’s a high probability that close association and trust-based relationship between the daughters of unloving mothers can turn into lesbianism one day.
The daughter of unloving parents is often a person whose heart is covered with emotional scars that make her adulthood painful, difficult and problematic due to the strong influence of emotional insecurities that tie her hands and make her unable to change the situation for the better. Modest and diffident girls are often chronic outsiders, because they find it difficult to uphold their rights and opinions.
Modern society is full of confident and impudent people who make weak personalities take a back seat all the time. As a result, these weak ladies narrow the circle of their contacts and prefer to communicate and keep contact with like-minded female friends who often turn into lovers. Unfortunately, sometimes even good-breeding can play a low-down trick with girls and steal their confidence. Ladies who refuse to hang out with male friends are often doomed to loneliness and possible lesbianism.
Life of a plain girl is difficult, because this, at first glance, warm-hearted and empathetic society isn’t as kind as it may seem. There are a lot of beautiful and attractive ladies which embarrass plain girls and hit where it hurts by pointing out their flaws.
Naturally beautiful girls usually choose heterosexuality since they’re always surrounded by guys who boost their self-confidence and significance, giving compliments, flowers and bestowing smiles upon them.
Plain girls often turn into tomboys, because they’re deprived of compliments and attention. Their tomboy habits, behaviors and social pressure gradually kill their desire to build traditional heterosexual relationships, because they think that they’re not beautiful enough.
Over the years, this problem turns into a deep-seated inferiority. If nothing changes for the better and a tomboy fails to raise her self-esteem, then she becomes either a lesbian or a woman who leads depressing, lonely and incomplete life.
Modern generation’s life motto is, “Live your life to the fullest and try everything while you’re young, beautiful and healthy.” As a result, many girls try everything and lesbianism is no exception. Even women who have a heterosexual relationship sometimes show interest in lesbian sex.
Why does it happen? Unlike men, women aren’t the creatures of habit and they can’t stand sexual monogamy. They need various emotions, adventures and intrigues like oxygen. Often young ladies say that one-time experiment with lesbian sex isn’t a sign of lesbianism, but just a thrilling experience. The statistics show that such experiments usually alter women’s views on life and lead to homosexuality.
Do you agree that inborn inclination to lesbianism is possible? I’ve always thought that lesbianism is the result of improper upbringing. But it turns out that I was mistaken, because much depends on hormones. Scientists have found that there’s a significant biochemical difference between heterosexual and lesbian women. Lesbian’s endocrine system doesn’t produce enough estrogen. On the contrary, their blood is full of testosterone.
Such deviation from a physiological norm means that women with high testosterone levels assume mostly masculine traits of character. These ladies find it difficult to maintain heterosexual relationships with men since physiologically they’re more interested in women. Girls who choose lesbianism due to physiological deviations have fewer chances to bid farewell to this problem with ease than those whose inclination to lesbianism is triggered by various psychological issues.
Relationship between a man and a woman is a constant confrontation that consists of grudges, tears and fights, albeit it’s not a main reason why women join a man-hating club and become lesbians. What is the origin of this strong hatred?
Hatred towards men and subsequent lesbianism can be triggered by some kind of emotional or sexual abuse and leave deep scars in the subconscious mind of young ladies. If they don’t receive help from parents or psychologists, they have trouble overcoming the fear of men. Over the years, deep-seated fears, wounds and inner conflicts can only intensify the problem and give birth to an unbelievably intense disgust and hatred towards men.
Moreover, much depends on a role and reputation of a father in the family. If the father looks like a loser and a moral moron in the eyes of his daughter, then she loses respect for men and starts thinking that a relationship with a man is a bad idea.
Men and women will never reach mutual understanding and build harmonious relationship because their outlooks, behaviors, habits, reactions, dreams and goals are absolutely different. Women are more emotional and sensitive by nature. They need to talk their contradictions, ideas and thoughts out and share their inner emotions with their significant others. Unfortunately, men are bad comforters. They take a sober look at challenging situations, think rationally and logically.
Women who can’t close their eyes to monogamy, sexual dissatisfaction and misunderstanding in the relationships with their men, get seriously interested in lesbianism. Lesbian relationship gives them an opportunity to finally reach mutual understanding, talk for hours, cry on each other’s shoulders and find the right words to inspire and cheer up the partner.
These are some of the main reasons why women choose lesbian relationships. We see that in most cases, inclination to lesbianism is the consequence of parental mistakes, misunderstanding and violence. Lesbianism isn’t the end of the world though. It’s a choice that we all should respect. Do you think lesbianism is a psychological disorder or a personal choice?
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Welcome to Ravishly, where we celebrate the mess of being human. A community for sharing what makes us tick, what ticks us off, plus pictures of our dogs (or cats – inclusivity is important). We laugh. We cry. We do it all together.
"Being gay isn’t a choice. The only choice I made was to follow my heart and pick love."
I don’t have an epic coming out story. In fact, in many ways I don’t even feel like I “came out.” I’m pretty sure I told both of my sisters I was dating a woman via text message. With most of my friends, I did the casual mention when asked, “What’s new with you?”
For others, and especially my mother, it felt much bigger.
“ Why would you choose such a hard life? ” “How can you just change like that after being with so many men?” These were the questions my mother asked me as we sat in the backyard one evening chatting.
The second question shocked me. So many men? I wasn’t quite sure where she’d gotten her facts from. It’s true that I’d had four boyfriends throughout high school, and one significant relationship in college. Most recently, I’d just gotten out of a relationship that had lasted about ten years and had included cohabitation and rumblings of marriage.
The first question was a bit heavier. Up until that moment I’d enjoyed the privileges of being straight and white in America. Nothing terrible or scary had ever really happened to me. I’d always been an open and fervent supporter of LGBTQ rights. My cousin is gay, as well as many of my friends. Plus it’s just basic human rights.
Every once in a while, something will come up that reminds us of how different our paths have been to get to this place. Out in public, I never think twice about holding her hand or giving her a quick peck on the cheek. I’ve always been a very affectionate person and usually oblivious to the stares of others.
But supporting a cause is always much easier and safer than truly living it. Even my “coming out” experience was rather painless. None of my friends disowned me; or if they have, I haven’t noticed yet. The almost unanimous response was, “Congrats! You seem so happy. Can’t wait to meet her.”
My girlfriend’s history was very different. The stories she told me of being bullied broke my heart. She’s seen viol
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