“Turning Japanese, I Really Think So.”

When I was a child, one of my biggest wishes was to be taken aboard a U.F.O.

It never happened. However, one day as I was walking in midtown…

… I was pulled by unknown forces into a Japanese bookstore.

I found myself heading toward the back of the store, where the manga section was located.

As I browsed, I realized two things: sad, I didn’t know Japanese…

… and, two, even if I DID know Japanese, these books would still be incomprehensible.

There were hundreds, maybe even thousands of manga-small paperback graphic novels that cost about ten bucks apiece.

I saw all genres: sci-fi, fantasy, military, ones that seemed aimed at young girls, ones about the adventures of “salarymen,” and lots of what I thought might be porn, but I wasn’t sure,

So I had to investigate. On one page, the main character is bringing someone a cake.

Two pages later, she’s grocery-shopping with her friend.

What’s that THING sticking out of her friend’s head? Oh, well – guess I’ll never know.

The next few pages seem pornlike.

It ends with two little girls drinking tea and talking.

It was like a children’s comic book, a sex manual from the fifties, and a raunchy movie all mashed up together.

I tried to decipher the salaryman manga, with all its peculiar charts.

Salaryman was always drinking sake. He had a rotary telephone.

Finally, I found a book that had been translated into English, including all the sound effects!

There was so much about manga – about JAPAN – that I felt I’d never understand, like this ultra-popular manga called “Fruits Basket.”

It was deeply unfamiliar. I think I liked it, but how would I know if I wasn’t sure what “it” was?

I was feeling weird. Ah, well… nothing a good old grilled cheese and a coke wouldn’t cure…