Ts Missgoodbar

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Home Stickman Readers' Submissions 2004 December Searching For Miss Goodbar Part 8



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Your Bangkok commentator since 1998

Dan saw her 'chance' as any girl might and suddenly rose as my friend and then fought against Pia on the home battlefields of the dance floor in the only way they knew how, pitting their feminine wiles against each other. Pia surfacing as the
loser this time around, – so too had Dan in ways, and I knew she was feeling pain and trepidation about falling out with Pia, for whatever Pia had done, Dan looked up to her in many ways, Pia was now the "fallen idol" in Dan's eyes,
and no longer her friend and mentor, but Dan's circumstances in rank and bar pecking order had been changed, – she simply didn't need Pia anymore it seemed…."
Aftermath….

Picking our way through the usual late night chaos that's Pat Pong later that night after the incident and escapades in Camelot, we decided we'd stop at a MacDonald's on the way, – the one over on the Silom Road side of PP,
– it's bigger and better there, not small and crowded like Suriwong's corner MacDonald's. We needed to 'chew the fat' over tonight's developments before going back to our Hotel, to digress, choosing oddly the more
lurid and noisy backdrop of a MacDonald's than our usual, quieter haunts….
Crossing Silom Road's fast dual carriageways always reminds me of that awful 70's movie "Death race 2000" – especially after the rush-hour when things "speed up" and get more lethal. You literally do take your
life in your hands when crossing, – timing is essential, – get it 'wrong' and you could find yourself mercilessly impaled by some Merc's bonnet crest, – most inconvenient, – for the fat Thai businessman at the wheel, – cos now he
might actually have to stop! {If he even notices…}


Or you could end up doing a dead human "star-fish" impression on the front of a huuuge careening bus, "Splatttt" The Bus driver then fleeing the scene, bounding and hopping over fences like Spiderman as he's already 'overdosed'
on about 24 X "Red Bull's" from the night shift before, melting into some Soi….[Oh well, must get another driving job then?] Dan tugged at my hand meaning 'to go, -now!' – then we crossed in between speeding
cars and bikes, – me entrusting her 'experience' here as much as my own, – she'd probably crossed this road hundreds of times and had some near-death experiences too as motorists go hell-for-leather seemingly to see their Buddha
earlier than planned…. The Thai authorities have thoughtfully put fence-wires down the central reservations to prevent people from erm, "J-Walking"…(??) Hah! – what a farce, – pedestrians simply 'jump over them' treating
them with the same cheerful abandon they treat road regulations and look upon them as more of an annoyance than anything else. Cautionary signs warning of 200 Baht fine adorn the stretched wire fences, warning against any pedestrian trying to
cross at the wrong point, – and utterly ignored…. The problem has been since much alleviated now by the inclusion of the BMT Sky Train Escalator and overhead bridge walk-way that takes you directly into Silom Shopping Complex's second level
also. Trust me when I say Thai drivers utterly ignore Zebra Crossings with cheerful abandon, and seemingly look upon them more as 'kill zones' than anything else…!
At Pat Pong's 'peak' chucking-out time, i.e. after about 2-3am onwards, MacDonald's on Silom becomes a major meeting and congregation point for would-be opportunist's, Bar Girls and farang alike congregate on the
steps sometimes during peak times as the tables become fuller inside, spilling out onto the pavement and steps. Farang "refugees" adorn the tables and stairs from various bars, and the usual suspects of previously bar-fined girls just
out killing time, Kay Toey's picking off the odd stray farang after a Samurai-Burger or two…. As we queue, I smile as a Kay Toey slowly devours her Hamburger "seductively" with overly animated tongue, – moaning in mock orgasm
in front of some T-shirted slack-jawed farang opposite 'her' table, – 'demonstrating' in no uncertain terms exactly what she'd be doing to him should he take her home, – minus the Hamburger of course…. Smiling, I thought
to myself; "I'll bet he's thinking MacDonald's was never like this in Manchester on a wet Friday night!?"


Dan hardly noticed the different 'cabaret's' going on around her, – fixing her gaze instead on the colourful menu options overhead the eagerly awaiting servers…. Asking in Thai and leaning over the counter, I see Dan's brought the
little Pink Bikini bulging in her back Jeans pocket, – "the root-cause of all the troubles tonight" – I thought, with Pia…."Maybe we'll have some fun too yet with that later tonight" – I mused quietly….
Dim Sum Princess's meet the Cheeseburger warriors….
Filing in and queuing, I was hungry for a Big Mac, tired of Thai food and spicy Dim-Sum'd out, I just needed a satisfying stick-to-your-ribs Burger and fries tonight, – needed to take on some high-carbohydrate fuel after the night's
rigours, – worn out by Dan's and Pia's theatricals before and having to be the peacemaker all the time… Yeah, It's nice to be the subject of attention from two gorgeous women, but boy, things were getting outta hand and exhausting
after a while and never thought they'd fight over it as they did in the end. Although it wasn't my fault, I felt some element of indirect responsibility, and didn't like the thought of leaving Bangkok with Dan and Pia now as mortal
'enemies'. Reconciliation however seemed so far, far away now…. Somehow though I wasn't too worried, – I knew ultimately that things would somehow get worked out in their usual inimitable Thai bar-girl fashion one way or another
and it wouldn't be long before Dan and Pia were 'covering' for each other and once again become the "Som Det Mafia" as I joked with them about before….I thought it would be business as usual after I left…
At that moment, and unusually for BKK, a small group of young U.S. servicemen entered the restaurant, some in uniform, some in civvies, some sitting 'claiming' tables, while others approach the servers, ordering en-mass for this
group of unexpected night time customers…
"Whaddaya guy's want over there Yo'all" asks a black brother from an Alabama ghetto in crisp uniform BDU's…. Meanwhile all the girls' attentions suddenly swing towards the group, causing more feminine stir
than an ice cream MacFlurry. A Kay Toey immediately rises to the challenge, – slinking obviously across the restaurant, past the gawking group in obligatory flamboyant hip-swinging fashion, worthy of any lady-boy Cabaret, – licks her finger theatrically
and places it between her by now spaced apart legs, – withdraws it and licks it again, 'tasting' her own inimitable form of snack in front of the young soldier warriors now sitting agog…. Sigh…What Kay Toey's lack in common
sense, they more than compensate for in sheer bad taste…. "Anyone for Fish?" asks a G.I. – amid gails of laughter….


Squat up against the window on a two-seater table and with Bangkok's night street traffic our backdrop, Dan and I struggle to speak with one another over the growing cacophony the soldiers were unwittingly causing. Curious girls rallied and cackled,
conversing loudly in Thai or broken Lao, – their frantic conversations growing in intensity and pitch until it all more resembled large metallic objects falling down stair wells than human conversation, amid crashing splashing Coke cups and falling
French Fries…. One of the nearby Americans stated over the din about being in "Ko-so-vo" where they had a Burger King branch especially for the U.S. forces there flown in, complete with BK staff, – a 'prerequisite' to any
U.S. intervention in any theater or country, – a Burger King. The term "Cheeseburger Warriors" came to my mind…. As the soldiers tucked in, the Kay toey's circled and wheeled about like bazaar gaudy vultures waiting for their
pickings, – of the men…. A Kai Toey in mid fly-by pushes a young girl unceremoniously on the highest platform souls you've seen to one side, – she staggers, totters and teeters precariously, desperately for seconds trying to regain balance
vainly while holding onto a bag of fries and a Coke, – a heartbeat away from a broken ankle seemingly, or a shot of high altitude Oxygen, I wasn't sure… She frowns scornfully from her pale complexion at the back of the disinterested Kai
Toey, towering above her and carries on tottering to her table and her friends, – and the safe refuge of a chair. I'm sure I breathed a sigh of relief when she sat down….?
Looking long and hard at Dan, I wondered about the prospect of 'supporting' her, but had heard so many hard-luck sorties that this would be, basically 'out of the question', – this was long before Stickman's site
existed too!! The only book I'd ever read on the subject was "Hello my big Honey" which had been doing the rounds already some time by 1998, which detailed with tongue firmly in cheek some of the worst and cheesy sides of the farang
bar-girl phenomenon, it was nothing really to go on….


I didn't believe in fact, that Dan hadn't another sponsor somewhere at the time of meeting her, – far from it, – I took it as a prerequisite that she did! A fact that would prevent me from entering into any discussion about supporting her after
my return to England now. Sooner leaving it to luck, and more truer feelings. No, no support would be given, but at the same time, I pretty much knew I could almost count on Dan's friendship upon my eventual return to the LOS, – I just knew
somehow. Unfortunately, I've been to too many bars listening to girls talking to their boyfriends on mobile phones. On one such occasion when a girl was with me, she pacified her distant boyfriend and told him "not to worry about her,
that she 'stayed at home' very boring not go out anymore"…. No, support is totally out of the question especially if you're going home, – even if you stayed in Thailand, you still couldn't ever fully guarantee her 'fidelity'
100% – you have no hope if you go to your mother country… But there's always Stickman's Bar-Girl Investigations Bureau right for those that do and are 'in love'??
No money, no honey?….
And so it was with Dan, although the subject was never discussed, Dan didn't ask me let alone 'pressure' me into some after-support when I went home, she knew 'I knew' the system all too well. Dan was no liar, not
a 'good one' anyway, – sure, I'm certain she tells "white lies" to protect her interests or that of her friends like any girl from time to time, but lying to me wasn't one of her points. Taking money in support from
me, might 'force the issue' and later 'compromise' her freedoms. After all, we hadn't decided at that time in 1998 where, if anywhere, our relationship would go, as so many do, and might have technically 'ended'
in that MacDonald's restaurant that night, had I flown home the following day!! I simply didn't feel it was 'about money' though with Dan, she simply didn't imbue that when with me, and we rarely exchanged money after
we met, with Dan always saying "Later, okay?" – or putting it off for something else, I got the impression she wanted more than just money…. I got the distinct impression had I not paid her any money, she would have viewed it as her
own failure to please me in some way than anything else, questioning herself in that way much later on with me. In some ways she was too proud to ask for things, relying instead on her own character to ultimately reward her than any quick-fix
financial reward. She was looking for longevity, a relationship and tried to make things as easy for me as she could without pressuring me, and this is not uncommon when any girl or BG actually likes you. A BG no matter what her disposition or
preferences will readily make 'concessions' if she likes you, quoting high prices for her 'services' in short impolite terms is a real turn-off, – she simply doesn't like you, period. In this event, it's better not
to pursue the girl, as you'll only get a quick, cold and utterly indifferent experience and a feeling of being 'fleeced' for nothing, – such as one may feel with any western hooker.
What are little girls made of??….
With but just a few days to go now, Dan and I were obviously at a 'crossroads', as have so many relationships arrived at whether good or bad. Soon it would be time for us to part our ways with just a collection of memories and experiences,
like a 'holiday romance' if that's the right term. Our meeting was not so much that as that of a 'collision' – two imperfect souls careening in opposite directions in life, colliding in some bar somewhere across the other
side of the world, yet striking a chord against all the odds and utter chaos that's Bangkok, welcome to Thailand….
Whether a 'true' friendship had been forged against this unlikely backdrop remained to be seen, – we didn't think so at the time. Dan and even Pia too, had left their indelible mark on me, – they had made an impression on me,
and a good one at that in spite of the twists and turns and roller-coaster ride. The sheer verve and effort they made in their pursuit of me for whatever ends made my own time here fully worthwhile and their continuing conflict come friendship
entertained me almost endlessly, – until they 'fell-out'. Which I felt could not have been avoided, as it seemed it was an eventual certainty, but I couldn't help but feel they'd still be friends had it not being for me…..I
regretted that at least…. I'd known Dan at this time in 1998 about three weeks in all, hadn't seen her every night, – far from it in fact, and we had only spent the last few days in fact together in what was any 'quality time'
– most of that on the River Kwai Noi and "Jungle Rafts", – perhaps the best place to spend our time of all places… It's utterly impossible to draw conclusions on a girl you've known merely 2-3 weeks, – let alone just several
whole days. It takes months, even years to get to know someone thoroughly enough to know whether to embark on a more serious relationship. I had no inkling of that with Dan initially, – although future events and time would tell otherwise much
to my surprise, – even to this day. The 'basics' were there though with Dan, who in my mind was 'honest' – a straight-shooter, 'dividing' work from pleasure with a definable difference that I could see and recognise.
She always made me feel 'different' unlike other previous encounters and never tried to con me, – she always knew I wouldn't 'fall for any of that' BG-stuff and sweet-talk [Bhag-Wan] anyway, so some mutual 'respect'
was earned very early on.


I'm not going to say "Dan was different", – we've all heard that one so many times before right?, – no, I will keep my thoughts to myself on that score, but for the record, I didn't think she was any different at that time….
I liked her, but didn't recognise her as a "Miss Goodbar" stereotype.
As time wore on, I treated Dan less like "Pia's friend" and more my own friend and unexpected ally in earlier, difficult times with Pia, toying with my affections, and then eventually winning my favour completely, – and Pia's
place in my bed…. To any man I would say "this is as good as it gets" – so it's maybe better to quit while ahead, (?) to "love-em and leave-em" (?) – no one gets hurt that way, – oh, but then they do…. It struck
me quite early on in first visiting Thailand from 1994, that these girls were after more than just money, – the money-making to some extent was a facade that covered a more natural yearnings, – a 'yen' for something more special and
prevailing, – a real, real relationship, – a 'future'…. In all seriousness, a BG solemnly told me once the answer to that all-prevailing question; In that, every [Thai] girl, no matter what her disposition or walk in life, always dreams
of reaching the 'pinnacle' [holding her hands in a Pyramid shape] of her existence, her 'meaning and position' in life which is to bare children and become a good mother, it is the most logical and most natural progression
for her life, no matter what she is, or that she will become…. Maturity and preparedness have little to do with it, and should poor circumstances and social status prevail, then so be it, – she must deliver a child to her family circle… It's
also not uncommon for some females to knowingly 'trap' unsuspecting foreigners into relationships by deliberately falling pregnant. [As if you didn't know right?] This however, might also be an effort simply to escape her economic
plight as much as anything else or maternal instinctiveness if she likes someone, – to 'force the issue' – maybe even more so than any real love or feeling for her partner, sometimes born out of desperation more than any maternal instinct
or motive…. It may be she feels her partner loves her only, she'll do almost anything to grasp a hold of security.


In Western society, children follow marriage [normally] in theory anyway, and there's an element of financial planning and preparation before the event, whereby the child is born into a safe and stable environment from the start. Not so set against
the socio-economic and poorer social structures of Thailand, often referred to as third world (?)…. Another hidden 'fear' every BG has is that of growing old…. Growing old without Sons and Daughters to care for them in their inevitable
twilight years, emphasised more acutely against the back drop of a BG's harsh uncompromising lifestyle. She knows inwardly too she may soon all too easily become sick and invalided by the very lifestyle she's forced to lead one way or
another…. A BG might see pregnancy as a way out, and 'escape' from her own purgatory into some vision she had once of a family Utopia or 'promised land' with her chosen partner. Seldom is pregnancy a happy occasion though
against this backdrop and lurid landscape, and usually compounds and almost impossible situation into an insoluble one… Thailand's numerous Orphanages are full of the results of these unhappy mismatched liaisons and continue to fill.
Sometimes I cannot help but feel some odd perhaps misplaced 'admiration' for these girls. Life's so harsh for them and yet some react so 'positively' and resiliently, treating those around them with continuing honor
and respect against the odds, unlike they way in which they have been treated in turn, – true Buddhist's by any other name?? Youngsters with more "back-bone" and street savvy than any young educated women I've seen in my own
country or "Farangland", – Farang women whom have had loving care and 'life' presented to them on a plate from birth, – this, set against Tha
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