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Jazz Burkitt | 16:34 UK time, Friday, 4 May 2012

I was born with restricted growth, which means I am the size of an average nine year old, and this affects what I do every day – the world isn’t built for people of my size. I try my best to not let my condition get in my way and am determined to live my life like every other teenager because after all, I am the same - I love fashion and going out with my friends. The only thing about my condition that holds me back is other people’s attitudes – my life would be a lot easier if people were more accepting, because if I am fine with having restricted growth then why shouldn’t other people be?
Since the age of 15 my life has been followed by cameras for a series of BBC Three documentaries. The first documentary called ‘ Small Teen Big World ’ saw me take the huge decision to get in contact with my estranged dad, who I had not seen since I was born. My dad was addicted to drugs and my mum made the heart-breaking decision to bring me up without him in my life. But mum wasn’t alone; she had her parents - my lovely grandparents - to help raise me and without them I wouldn’t be who I am today.
I then had a four part series made about my life called ‘Small Teen Bigger World’ . In this series my dad got in touch and became a huge part of my life – he moved to Wales to be with me and mum. Finally my life and family felt complete. However at the end of the series I found out that my dad had relapsed and had started to take heroin again. My world had been turned completely upside down and my family torn apart.
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When I was first reunited with my dad it felt strangely natural and I was really comfortable around him. I thought it would take longer for me to be willing to let him into my home and my life, but it was actually surprisingly easy to let him in. We got on really well and the best part of our relationship was that we had the same sense of humour – we were always laughing together. Dad also loves animals, so that was a bonus, as I love animals too so we could talk for hours together about them. He was like an 18 year old trapped in a 40 year old man’s body.
Although we laughed and joked there was always a sense that the past was hanging over him and our relationship. Even before I found the drugs there was always a constant reminder that he hadn’t been part of my life for 16 years – it was like I had to tell him my whole life story and explain everything and every person in my life –that was really difficult.
The worst part of finding out that dad was back on drugs was knowing that once again he had chosen them over me. He did it when I was a baby and now he had done it again. It made me feel worthless and like I wasn’t worth choosing. When I was reunited with him I made it clear that although he was welcome back in my life, I only wanted him around if he was clean from drugs. He knew the rules and what would happen if he turned to drugs again, but he still took the risk.
Deciding not to have dad in my life anymore until he gets clean from drugs was definitely the hardest decision I have made, but I know that in the long run it is best for everyone. I didn’t want drugs in my life let alone in my house – imagine if a friend had stayed over and they found them in my room! Having him in my life was just too much of a risk.
This new documentary follows me coping with the devastation of finding out my dad is back on drugs. Mum had become so reliant on his help that she found it difficult to cut him out and I completely understand her choice to continue seeing him but I needed a break and some time to think. My Grandparents were in America visiting my Aunty Shelly so mum and I decided I should visit them to give me chance to think. Whilst I was in America dad started a methadone detox programme, but did it work? You’ll have to watch to find out.
Clip from Small Teen Turns Eighteen:
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The documentary also sees me become an official adult, as I celebrate my eighteenth birthday in style with a fancy dress party. Turning eighteen has been a huge milestone for me; when I look back a year ago I’ve changed so much and I feel like a completely different person. I have grown up inside and out and feel as though I am a stronger and better person. My experience with my dad has taught me to be more wary of people and to not be too trusting.
I have definitely learnt a lot about myself from making these documentaries. I’ve become wiser to the world, feel a lot more confident in myself and have more pride. I actually feel as though I have aged four years in just one year! I am a lot happier than I have ever been and I am ambitious for my future.
Wow loved ur show, loved ur outfit, its good that u have so much confidence we r all Gods creations no 1 is better than non no matter who we r or what we have. God bless u. P.S love ur mom she is so funny she had me in stitches lol..
Hi Jazz. Congratulations on passing a big milestone. You seemed a bit worried about officially becoming an adult. All I can say is that you are a lot more adult than some of the folk that I know and they are much older than you. All the best for the future!
i've really enjoyed watching your documentary series Jazz, many congrats in becoming 18, I wish I was 18 again!!
Hi Jazz , Really enjoyed watching the programmes .Good luck in everything you do.And just wanted to commend you on your feelings towards your Dad.Addiction is a very difficult thing to understand.Look forward to seeing your 21st prog lol x
Jazz - I'd never heard of the programmes that you'd made and only blundered across this on iPlayer but really glad I did. You and the film makers do a great job of showing the world from a different perspective that many people wont have previously appreciated. You're a great lass and deserve every success in your future life and career. Great boots too lol
you are the best jazz, you keep rollin' =) x
thank you for allowing us to cry and laugh with you through your short (no pun intended) life and to have reached eighteen and to have turned out to be such a well adjusted young person is so lovely to see. love all your tv apprearances- stay strong with your beliefs - remember we all have standards life is about holding on to those standards plus alittle bit of compromise carol x
Hi Jazz, I was so happy to see your new programme. You are a bundle of positive energy and it is a joy see you live your life to the fullest. You don't need me to tell you but your mum is FABULOUS!!
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SOURCES: Halpern-Felsher, B.L. Pediatrics , April 2005; vol 115: pp 845-851. Remez, L. Family Planning Perspectives, November/December 2000; vol 32: pp 298-304. Bonnie L. Halpern-Felsher, PhD, associate professor of pediatrics, University of California, San Francisco. David Landry, senior research associate, Alan Guttmacher Institute, New York.
14-Year-Olds May See Oral Sex as Abstinence
April 4, 2005 -- Nearly a third of 14-year-olds plan oral sex within six months -- and nearly 20% say they've already tried oral sex, a California survey shows.
The survey is not a national sample. The data, while carefully collected, comes from 580 ninth-grade boys and girls at two California schools. But the numbers are in line with -- and even a bit lower than -- larger studies of American teens' sexual behavior.
The young teens say oral sex is a safer, more acceptable alternative to vaginal sex. That's true, says researcher Bonnie L. Halpern-Felsher, PhD, of the University of California, San Francisco. Oral sex, by itself, carries no risk of unwanted pregnancy. And some sexually transmitted diseases, sexually transmitted diseases , such as AIDS, are harder to get from oral sex than from vaginal sex.
But Halpern-Felsher says the survey shows that many teens don't fully appreciate the very real risks of engaging in oral sex.
"Yes, risks are less likely to occur with oral sex. The question is, do you think at age 14 you are really ready for this?" Halpern-Felsher tells WebMD. "You are still having intimacy with another person, and there still are possible physical and emotional risks. My concern is the feeling that oral sex is no big deal. It very well might be a big deal."
Halpern-Felsher's study -- published in the April issue of Pediatrics -- provides sorely needed data, says youth sexual behavior expert David Landry, senior research associate at the Alan Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit organization focused on sexual and reproductive health research, policy analysis, and public education.
"There has been a dearth of information about adolescent oral sex in U.S. survey research," Landry tells WebMD. "A lot of the media reports I've seen about teen oral sex are rather alarmist. But it has been going on for a long time. It is nothing new, as data from 1988 and 1995 show. If anything, this latest research shows an incidence lower than we've seen before. But this is not a national sample."
Halpern-Felsher notes that her study is the first to gather information from teens as young as 14. The kids enrolled in her ongoing study -- with the full consent of their parents - and filled out surveys every six months. The survey questions become more detailed and cover more sexual topics as the children get older.
"We are finding that these ninth-graders -- and they are really young -- are engaging in thinking about these things," Halpern-Felsher says.
And what these young teens are thinking may surprise their parents.
"Young adolescents are perceiving that oral sex is less risky than vaginal sex in terms of health risks -- STDs, pregnancy, and HIV," Halpern-Felsher says. "They also see oral sex as having fewer social and emotional risks. They think they are less likely to feely guilty, to get in trouble, to have a bad reputation, or to have a relationship problem. They also felt oral sex is more acceptable. They think more teens are having it, and that it is OK in the context of both a dating and nondating relationship -- a one-night stand in our terms."
One finding that worries Halpern-Felsher is that a small but significant proportion of teens think oral sex carries zero physical risk. Fourteen percent of teens said there was zero risk of getting HIV from oral sex, and 13% said the behavior carried zero risk of transmitting chlamydia . Only 1% and 2%, respectively, thought vaginal sex carried zero risk of HIV or chlamydia infection.
Experts say there is no doubt that oral sex can transmit virtually any sexually transmitted disease - including HIV including HIV and chlamydia. The risk of getting most of these infections from oral sex is lower than the risk of getting them from vaginal sex. But the exact risks of oral sex are largely unknown, Landry says.
"I would say it is encouraging that most adolescents are aware there is a risk of STDs from engaging in oral sex," he says. "This research clearly indicates that most youth also are aware that oral sex is less risky than sexual intercourse. But it is important for them to know that our scientific understanding of risk of STDs from oral sex isn't very well defined. We simply know there is a risk. How much risk we don't reliably know at this time."
This does NOT mean that unprotected oral sex is safe sex . Safe oral sex means using barrier protection --- condoms or dental dams -- to prevent infection. If abstinence is the only safe sex method a person uses, then abstinence must include oral sex as well as vaginal sex.
"This has to be a consistent message: When people engage in oral sex they should use a barrier method," Landry says. "Unfortunately, in the U.S., fewer and fewer teachers are talking about how condoms can be used to prevent STDs or even pregnancy -- let alone how condoms can be used in the context of oral sex."
Most adults see oral sex as sex. Teens don't.
"It is not considered real sex to teens," Halpern-Felsher says. "They think they are still virgins if they had oral sex compared to vaginal sex. Oral sex is something else. For teens it is not under the rubric of sex as we know it today."
This has important implications for every kind of sex education.
"It is so incredibly important that when people are working with teens they must not just say, 'When you are having sex,' because that won't cover oral sex," Halpern-Felsher says. "We really need to break the barriers and start talking about all the things we consider to be sexual experiences."
Since oral sex is already prevalent at age 14, these conversations have to take place before a child reaches puberty.
"There is no data on exactly how young you should start -- maybe at age 10 or 11, but we have no evidence," Halpern-Felsher says. "But regardless of the child's age, don't hide from the conversation. We do know that parents who have complete conversations with their children about sex have kids who make wiser decisions about these issues."
Halpern-Felsher and Landry say the "big talk" isn't as effective as more frequent, more casual conversations. There are many opportunities for such discussions.
"Instead of just one big talk, you absolutely need ongoing conversations," Halpern-Felsher says. "There are many teachable moments when we parents can discuss issues of sexuality with our children, especially as our culture is awash with sexuality. It is important to seize those moments rather than to let them pass by. It is important to be open and honest and have clear consistent messages with youth. The frequency and openness of conversations is important. It has effects both on delaying sex and on using protection when sex occurs."
These conversations aren't all teens need.
"The bottom line is that youth need accurate information to make responsible decisions about sexual activity -- and that includes all forms of sex they might engage in," Landry says. "Unfortunately, in the U.S. we have been pulling back in school-based education to provide that info. Fewer students get information on how to protect themselves."
Here's how to avoid the most common mistakes.
What do you know about locking lips?
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"I still don’t understand why guys say they don’t use toilet paper."

My husband has a small penis. There, I've said it. We have an active sex life, and he is really good with his hands, so he thinks that as long as he's giving me orgasms his size doesn't matter — but it's starting to. For me, orgasms aren't everything. Sometimes it's difficult to feel him, and I like a sensation of fullness. I don't know how to tell him this for fear of crushing him.
For the love of God, don't tell him! No, no, no, there's no reason to bring that up.
We're gonna work this out, but you have to promise not to criticize your husband's meager member. I mean ever. If you think the thing works poorly now, imagine what it would do if the words "difficult to feel you" were to ever tumble carelessly from your mouth.
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that if you're comfortable talking orgasms and, er, fullness with a stranger and thousands of readers, you're no staunch traditionalist, so... Have you considered trying toys in the boudoir? Tell your fella you're fantasizing about spicing things up, and ask him to join you in purchasing some pleasure-prompting playthings. Choose a mix of girthy gadgets for yourself and glovey gizmos for him, too (hey, you have to assume it's difficult for him to feel you, too). Add in some feathered, flavored, or fur-lined fun to throw him off the "you have a small penis" scent.
Fullness you can buy. But a man that you love, who is manually dexterous and makes a regular point of pleasuring you? That's no small thing.
My brother moved across the country 30 years ago and, through some luck and a lowering of ethical standards, ended up as a multi-millionaire. Separately, my mother had been abusive to me and my family over the years, and it got so bad that I couldn't bring myself to see her anymore. So she finally moved to live near my brother, and now claims to be broke. She refused to co-sign for my daughter's college loan for one of the most expensive schools in the country, and sent her a high-school graduation gift almost a year late because she supposedly didn't have any money. My wife and I are barely scraping by. We have never experienced so much stress in our lives working endless hours to pay for my daughter's school. I received an email from my brother telling me my mother broke her hip because a guy ran into her with his car. I replied that maybe she should sue him to get some money since she was too broke to send a card to my daughter. My brother said he and his wife would like to visit my wife and I. I didn't respond and don't plan on seeing any of them ever again in my life, and do not plan to attend my mother's funeral. What do you think?
What do I think? I think you're an angry, confused dude who isn't qualified to be be doling out "ethical" and "abusive" labels from on high.
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