Try Not To Get A Hard On
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Try Not To Get A Hard On
By Larry Kim , CEO of MobileMonkey @ larrykim
Your mistakes are part of your learning. Learn to be resilient in the face of failure. Don't compare yourself to others because you aren't them. You're you, so accept yourself for who you are, faults and all. There is no right way to do anything. Don't limit your thinking to a right or wrong way--there's no right way to do the wrong thing, and no wrong way to do something right! Stand up for what you believe, even if it's unpopular. Make everyone understand your big, crazy ideas . Learn from people who criticize you. Don't let criticism get you down; let it inspire you to work you ass off ! Accept your weaknesses as your "features". You aren't good at everything you do, but nobody else is, either! Look at your past as an adventurous biography. Your past isn't your identity and doesn't dictate your entrepreneurial destiny. Don't underestimate your talent until you apply it 100 times. Are you applying your natural talents ? Every single problem you have is not unique. Put your problems in perspective and solve them faster . Intelligence is relative, self-esteem is not. Stay positive, take care of yourself, forget about being perfect, and always keep improving yourself. Express your anger in a creative way. Feel you anger, express it, and learn from it . Surround yourself with people who want you to succeed. Having people you can trust and rely on will make you happier and feel better about yourself.
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The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
Whether you're just launching a startup, or in the process of growing your company, you're going to make mistakes, and it's going to take a toll on you.
We are usually much harder on ourselves than others. Sometimes you can be your own worst enemy.
You're going to experience failure from time to time. It's inevitable. But how will it affect you?
During stressful times, we can find ourselves falling into traps, such as negative self-talking --those damaging things we say to ourselves that get in the way of our own success.
"There's no way this will work." "It's impossible." "I totally suck at this."
You need to recognize when you're being hard on yourself so you can kill negative thinking .
Are you comparing yourself to others? Are you hiding or repressing your anger? Are you trying to do everything alone without a support system?
Below is an infographic with 12 simple and inspiring ideas from Anna Vital for how to stop being hard on yourself.
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Not Getting Hard Enough to Penetrate? What You Should Know
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Definition & Facts for Erectile Dysfunction. (2017, July). Retrieved from https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/urologic-diseases/erectile-dysfunction/definition-facts ED Diagnosis - Erection Hardness Score. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.smsna.org/patients/conditions/hsdd?view=article&id=354:ed-diagnosis-erection-hardness-score&catid=71 Erection Ejaculation: How It Occurs. (2020, November 27). Retrieved from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/10036-erection-ejaculation-how-it-occurs Symptoms & Causes of Erectile Dysfunction. (2017, July). Retrieved from https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/urologic-diseases/erectile-dysfunction/symptoms-causes Pyke, R.E. (2020, April). Sexual Performance Anxiety. Sexual Medicine Reviews. 8 (2), 183-190. Retrieved from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31447414/ Park, B.Y., et al. (2016, September). Is Internet Pornography Causing Sexual Dysfunctions? A Review with Clinical Reports. Behavioral Sciences. 6 (3), 17. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5039517/ Skrypnik, D., Bogdański, P. & Musialik, K. (2014, February). Obesity--significant risk factor for erectile dysfunction in men. Polski Merkuriusz Lekarski. 36 (212), 137-41. Retrieved from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24720114/
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Medically reviewed by Kristin Hall, FNP
Not being able to get an erection that’s firm enough to have penetrative sex with your partner is a surprisingly common issue. It’s also one that can affect men of any age or background.
While it’s far from uncommon to occasionally find it difficult to get or stay hard, if you often lose your erection before penetration or struggle to maintain a firm erection, you may be affected by erectile dysfunction (ED).
Contrary to popular belief, ED isn’t something that only affects older guys. In fact, according to the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, ED affects an estimated 30 million men in the United States.
Although it can be stressful to deal with ED when it happens, options are available to help you successfully get and maintain an erection when you want to have sex.
If you often find yourself not hard enough to penetrate, read on. Below you’ll find information on how and why ED happens, as well as how it may affect your ability to maintain a firm erection during foreplay and penetrative sex.
Below, you can also learn what you can do to improve your erections and stay firm enough for better, more satisfying sex — from ED pills to healthy habits and lifestyle changes.
First, let’s get one important thing out of the way: real life is not Pornhub, and no guy gets a perfect erection every time he wants to have sex.
A huge range of different factors — from the quality of your relationship to the amount of stress you experience on a day-to-day basis — all have the potential to affect your mood, sex drive and performance in bed.
Put simply, your erections and sex life will vary from one day to the next, especially if you’re a busy person with lots to think about.
However, researchers have formulated a system for working out how hard an erection might be, as well as how severely you may be affected by ED (if your erection isn’t hard enough for sex).
This system is called the Erection Hardness Score (EHS), and it consists of five options, scored from zero to four:
1 : The penis becomes larger, but not hard.
2 : The penis is hard, but not hard enough for penetrative sex.
3 : The penis is hard enough for penetration, but not completely hard.
4 : The penis is completely hard and fully rigid.
Although we often associate erectile dysfunction with a complete inability to get an erection, the reality is that ED can vary in severity.
For example, you may be affected by erectile dysfunction when you can only get an erection firm enough for penetrative sex sometimes, or when you can initially get an erection with sexual activity but can’t maintain it during sex — and, of course, when you’re unable to get an erection at all.
These issues may be a short-term problem that comes and goes, or a long-term one that occurs whenever you have sexual intercourse with your partner.
A wide range of factors can cause erectile dysfunction , including mild ED that causes your penis to become semi-rigid but not quite hard enough for penetration.
Getting and keeping an erection requires several parts of your body — including your nervous system and vascular system — to work together.
When you’re sexually aroused, your nervous system relaxes the muscles that control blood flow to the corpora cavernosa — a pair of sponge-like areas of erectile tissue inside your penis.
As blood flows to the corpora cavernosa, your penis expands and becomes harder. This blood is then held inside your penis by a fibrous membrane called the tunica albuginea, which helps to sustain your erection during sex.
ED occurs when one or several factors either prevents this process from happening, reduces its effects or disrupts it.
Some of the factors that can cause ED are physical. For example, you may find it difficult to get hard enough for penetrative sex if you have a condition that affects your vascular system, such as atherosclerosis (plaque buildup in your arteries) or heart and blood vessel disease.
These conditions may affect your body’s ability to supply enough blood to your penis to get and sustain a firm erection.
Conditions that affect your nervous system can also make it difficult to develop and maintain an erection. These include type 2 diabetes, multiple sclerosis and injuries that damage the nerves around your spine, pelvis, prostate, bladder or penis.
ED may also be caused by psychological factors that stop you from feeling relaxed during sex, affect arousal or reduce your sex drive. These include anxiety, depression, worries about your sexual performance or stress.
In some cases, ED may occur as a result of the medications you use. Medications associated with ED include antidepressants, sedatives, medications that affect your hormone production, ulcer medications and certain medications used to treat high blood pressure.
Finally, certain habits and aspects of your lifestyle, such as being overweight or obese, excess alcohol consumption, cigarette smoking or limited physical activity, may also increase your risk of developing ED.
You can learn more about these issues and their effects on your sexual performance in our full guide to the causes of erectile dysfunction .
When you’re consistently not hard enough to penetrate during sex you’re likely to feel frustrated — especially when it happenss often and affects your ability to connect with your partner.
Luckily, there are several things that you can do to improve your erectile function and stay hard ( Why can't I stay hard ?) during foreplay and sex.
If you often find it difficult to maintain a hard enough erection for penetrative sex, you may want to consider using ED medication.
Several medications are available for ED, including well-known options like sildenafil (the active ingredient in Viagra® ), tadalafil (Cialis®), vardenafil (Levitra®) and avanafil (Stendra®).
These medications work by increasing blood flow to the erectile tissue inside your penis, making it easier for you to get and stay hard during sex. Most ED medications should be taken about 30 to 60 minutes before you have sex for optimal results.
Sometimes, even a low dose of ED medication can increase your confidence in bed and make it easier to maintain a firm enough erection for satisfying, pleasurable sex.
We offer several medications for ED online, following a consultation with a licensed healthcare provider who will determine if a prescription is appropriate.
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Sometimes, the best way to overcome erectile dysfunction and improve your sexual health is by improving your mental health .
Common psychological causes of ED include stress, anxiety, depression, relationship problems and feelings of guilt or low self-esteem. These issues can also affect your sex drive, which may make you feel less interested in having sex.
Research suggests that sexual performance anxiety — a common cause of psychogenic ED — may improve with cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and relaxation techniques such as mindfulness meditation.
For issues such as depression and anxiety disorders, it’s best to reach out to a licensed mental health provider for assistance.
The link between porn and erectile dysfunction isn’t crystal clear. However, some research has found that avoiding online porn may help to improve real-life sexual arousal and reduce the risk of experiencing sexual performance issues like ED.
If you watch porn habitually, try cutting it out of your life for a few weeks to see if your erections and sexual function improve.
You can learn more about the relationship between porn and sexual performance issues in our guide to porn-induced erectile dysfunction .
If you’re currently prescribed medication that can affect your erections and sexual performance, consider talking to a healthcare provider about making changes to your medication use.
You may be able to switch to a different type of medication that’s less likely to affect your sexual health and erectile function. Alternatively, your healthcare provider may suggest making certain changes to the way you use your medication to reduce its impact on your erections.
Be sure not to stop taking any type of medication or adjust your dosage without first talking to your healthcare provider.
Erectile dysfunction is closely linked to issues such as obesity, lack of exercise and habits such as cigarette smoking.
For example, research suggests that a BMI in the 30 or higher range is associated with a three times greater risk of developing sexual dysfunction than a BMI in the normal range.
As we’ve covered in our guide to protecting your erections naturally , making simple changes to your lifestyle, such as exercising regularly, eating a nutritious diet, limiting your consumption of alcohol and getting enough sleep, can have a real positive impact on your sexual health.
Bigger changes, such as quitting smoking or maintaining healthy blood pressure, may have an even bigger effect on your erections and sexual performance.
Erectile dysfunction is a common issue that affects an estimated 30 million men of all ages and backgrounds in the United States.
If you have mild ED, you may find it difficult to maintain an erection that’s hard enough to penetrate during sex with your partner.
You can improve your erectile function and sexual performance using ED medications such as sildenafil (Viagra) and others.
Simple changes to your lifestyle, such as being more active and maintaining a healthy weight, can also reduce your risk of dealing with long-term ED.
Our full guide to erectile dysfunction goes into more detail about the most common causes of ED, symptoms and the science-based steps you can take to maintain good sexual health and function throughout your life.
Hims & Hers has strict sourcing guidelines to ensure our content is accurate and current. We rely on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We strive to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references.
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of any treatment. Learn more about our editorial standards here .
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It’s nice to have all day to make love, but those of us living in the real world know that sometimes you need to get an erection fast . Like, you need to know “how to get hard in 5 seconds” fast.
I know, I used to not think it was possible either. I was lucky if I got an erection at all, much less got one on command.
You can only have so many unsatisfying sexual encounters before you start looking for another way, though — and so I started doing some research.
It wasn’t easy. It took a lot of trial and error. But eventually, I found a few tried-and-true methods that showed me how to get hard in 5 seconds flat.
I’ll be honest with you, learning how to get erect fast isn’t something that will necessarily happen overnight . You’ll probably need to make some lifestyle changes as well.
Briefly, here are the six things you may need to do if you want to learn this superpower:
Already done some of these? Great — you’re ahead of the curve. For everyone else, let’s go into more detail on each of these important steps.
There’s one inescapable fact that will determine your ability to get hard and stay hard. That fact is that your penis will only be as healthy as the rest of your body.
In order for your penis to perform at its best, the rest of you must be firing on all cylinders as well. That means:
Erections need blood flow. The faster your blood can travel to your penis, the faster you’ll get hard. It’s that simple.
However, if your arteries are clogged with fat, the blood won’t be able to get to your penis very fast, if at all. You can’t move mountains without hydraulic pressure .
If you’re carrying extra weight — especially belly fat — then you need to lose it as quickly as you can.
It’s not all about your penis, either. Erectile dysfunction can be a predictor of heart disease, so you want to get the problem solved ASAP.
The good news is that if you lose the weight, there’s a good chance your erections will come back as strong as ever — and maybe even stronger.
This one’s simple. Remember how we said blood flow is the key to erections on command?
So, if you want to know how to get a boner, commit to a regular routine. You need at least 40 minutes of moderate activity four times a week to help address erectile dysfunction.
How you get that 40 minutes is up to you. If you don’t show up to the gym, though, you won’t show up in the bedroom either.
It’s no secret that stress is a huge erection-killer, especially for younger guys. If your mind isn’t right, your penis won’t be, either.
Of course, while “stop being stressed” is good advice, it’s easier said than done. That doesn’t mean there isn’t any hope, however.
The first thing to do is figure out what, exactly, is stressing you out. Is there an underlying issue, like depression? Are there specific triggers, like a certain act or partner?
If you can address the cause, you can overcome the issue. You may need to talk to a therapist to help figure everything out, though.
In some cases, medication might be prescribed. Be careful, though, as many mood-altering drugs can mess with your libido. It may take some trial-and-error to find one that works.
You might want to consider trying meditation instead. It’s free, easy, and calming, and you can do it anywhere — kind of like sex!
“Whiskey dick” is a real thing. Drinking too much can kill your chances to get an erection, so be careful not to overdo it before having sex.
A moderate amount is fine, but you’re probably better off going into each session completely sober (you’ll remember more that way, too).
Nicotine constricts your blood vessels , cutting off the supply to your penis and ruining erections. It also contributes to the buildup of plaque in your arteries.
Plus, it makes your breath stink and reduces your stamina. Who wants that?
Yep, men have sexual muscles — and no, I’m not just talking about the big one.
I’m talking about your pelvic floor muscles, and the way to work them is through Kegel exercises.
To do a Kegel, you simply flex the muscles that you’d use to stop peeing mid-stream. Then, hold the flex for a few seconds before relaxing. That’s one rep. Do this
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