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Toketemu has been multimedia storyteller for the last four years. Her expertise focuses primarily on mental wellness and women’s health topics.
John C. Umhau, MD, MPH, CPE is board-certified in addiction medicine and preventative medicine. He is the medical director at Alcohol Recovery Medicine. For over 20 years Dr. Umhau was a senior clinical investigator at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism of the National Institutes of Health (NIH).
Watching porn can be a sign of a healthy sexual appetite . However, if you find yourself watching it excessively, this might signify that you have a porn addiction.
While having a porn addiction might seem harmless, it can be detrimental to your general well-being. People with porn addictions often use it as an unhealthy coping mechanism with stressors in their lives or as a replacement for having a healthy sexual life .
To stop watching porn, you can understand why you are giving it up, get rid of the porn, and enlist help from an accountability buddy among other strategies below.
A person who has an uncontrollable desire to watch porn at any time of the day and in any space, especially where it might not be considered appropriate, might have a porn addiction.
Recognizing a porn addiction is tricky as there’s no official diagnosis for it. There’s also a thin line between people who have a healthy desire to consume porn and people who are addicted.
Here are some other signs that point to porn addiction:
There has been some controversy around recognizing porn addiction as a real addiction. However, there is enough research to point to people having real struggles with porn. Like with any addiction, if porn addiction is ignored, it can have negative consequences . 1
Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast , featuring actor/tv host Terry Crews, shares how to navigate shame, trauma, and recover from porn addiction. Click below to listen now.
If you think you might be dealing with a porn addiction, below are some tips to help you to stop.
You don’t have to have a porn addiction in order to decide that you are giving up porn. You could be doing so for religious or ethical reasons. You could also be doing so because it’s causing a rift between you and a romantic partner or simply because you just no longer want to watch porn.
Coming to terms with the reason you are giving it up, helps you stay accountable whenever you are tempted to watch it.
If any of the signs of a porn addiction listed in the section above resonate with you, then you might be dealing with a porn addiction.
Many people keep a porn addiction problem to themselves as they feel they’ll be judged by society, but remember that you are not alone.
This includes any physical or digital evidence of pornography content in your life. You need to make a clean sweep of all of that kind of content. There’s no excuse to hold on to any of it, even those vintage porn magazines that might have some sentimental value.
Once the content is readily available around you, it’s easy to slip back to old habits. On your phone, television, and other devices, you should install filters that block pornographic content and sites.
This could be a close friend who you trust or even an app on your phone that reminds you of how long you’ve come in your recovery journey and why you are doing it.
A support group helps you remember that you are not alone. It also eases your recovery journey if watching porn isn’t just a habit that you want to quit but an addiction.
These groups provide a safe, anonymous, and judgment-free zone for you to share your struggles with pornography and hear from other people who are going through similar experiences.
Trying to break a habit or recover from an addiction is a journey. Unfortunately, on that journey, you might find yourself slipping back into old habits. Whenever that happens, don’t waste any time beating yourself up.
Do your research, try more coping mechanisms and treatment options and get back on the wagon.
A trusted way to rid yourself of a bad habit is to replace it with a good habit whenever you begin to feel the urge to indulge in that bad habit. For instance, going for a run when you feel the familiar urge to watch porn is a great way to healthily distract yourself.
If you think you have a porn addiction, then simply trying to stop watching porn will prove to be incredibly difficult. So the first thing to do when considering treatment for porn addiction is to speak to a therapist . They will be able to recognize if you do indeed have an addiction and plan the next steps to take with you.
This typically includes a combination of psychotherapy and, in some cases, medication. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a commonly used approach with people who are living with addictions. CBT aims to help you recognize and change negative thoughts and behaviors.
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is another popular form of psychotherapy used in addiction treatment. ACT focuses on helping you identify and accept the urges associated with watching porn and use value-based interventions to manage urges and symptoms.
If you or someone you love is displaying signs of porn addiction, it’s important to get help, as it’s challenging to overcome addiction alone. However, it’s also important to remember that watching and enjoying porn in healthy doses is perfectly fine.
de Alarcón R, de la Iglesia JI, Casado NM, Montejo AL . Online porn addiction: what we know and what we don’t—a systematic review. Journal of Clinical Medicine. 2019;8(1):91.
By Toketemu Ohwovoriole
Toketemu has been multimedia storyteller for the last four years. Her expertise focuses primarily on mental wellness and women’s health topics.
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How often do you watch porn? And would you consider that a healthy amount or are you compulsive about it?
Watching porn has become the norm for many who use it to spice things up in the bedroom or while away lonely nights.
But new research suggests that not all porn viewers are the same and, instead, can be split into three groups.
What’s concerning, though, is that only one of those groups is considered healthy.
A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed there are recreational, compulsive and distressed porn viewers.
Recreational viewers account for 75 percent of all participants in the study, watching an average of 24 minutes of porn a week.
This group consisted of mainly women and people in relationships.
It was closely followed by the distressed group, who watched porn for the least amount of time – about 17 minutes per week.
As the name suggests, the distressed group associate their emotional distress with watching X-rated material.
Then there is the compulsive group.
This group may have made up just 11.8 percent of the participants, but watched a staggering 110 minutes of porn per week.
Researchers discovered that men were more likely to fall into this category.
The experts from Université Laval in Quebec who conducted the study said only those who were recreational viewers were healthy porn watchers.
To conduct the study, the researchers asked 830 people to report how often they watched porn, then measured it against how compulsive their porn habits were and their level of distress while viewing porn.
Recreational users reported higher sexual satisfaction and lower sexual compulsiveness, avoidance and dysfunction.
Compulsive users experienced lower sexual satisfaction and dysfunction and higher sexual compulsiveness and avoidance.
Those who were highly distressed but watched porn less were sexually less satisfied and reported less sexual activity and more sexual dysfunction and avoidance.
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The experts concluded that the study “confirms the existence of recreational and compulsive profiles but also demonstrates the existence of an important subgroup of not particularly active, yet highly distressed consumers.”
But while the majority who watch porn appear to be able to do so in a healthy manner, it can be a problem for some.
It is still not classified as a true addiction, but some researchers believe a person can become addicted to watching porn in the same way they can become addicted to drugs and alcohol.
Others argue that there is not enough evidence to support it being treated as an addiction.
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High-speed internet has made it easier than ever to access porn at an unprecedented pace, with scores now calling themselves porn addicts. But is that a real addiction? Scientists are divided.
Daniel Van Boom is an award-winning Senior Writer based in Sydney, Australia. Daniel Van Boom covers cryptocurrency, NFTs, culture and global issues. When not writing, Daniel Van Boom practices Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, reads as much as he can, and speaks about himself in the third person.
Editors' note: This story contains sexually explicit language and descriptions not suited for younger readers.
At the beginning of 2018, Steve had a stable marriage and his own business. By the end of 2018, he had neither. Alcohol abuse contributed to the 37-year-old's downward spiral, but it wasn't the catalyst.
"My world collapsed on June 30, 2018," Steve said, "when the porn charges were discovered." Steve had been spending an "obscene amount" on internet porn subscriptions and cam sites, and his wife spotted the exorbitant fees while perusing the couple's finances.
Steve was addicted to online porn. On a light day, he watched between two and three hours on his computer. Sometimes he'd wait until his wife went to bed, pop amphetamines and masturbate for hours. Other times, when his wife went out of town with their son, he'd spend entire afternoons watching porn.
Click for more on the intersection of sex and technology.
"I missed days of work, I would call in sick so that I could watch porn," he said. "I would crave huge blocks of uninterrupted time and, like any good addict, I would scam ways to get that."
When I spoke with Steve over Zoom from his home in Texas, he proudly shared that it was his 801st day "sober" from porn. Steve is part of a growing online community that believes porn use can be as addictive and destructive as alcohol or drugs.
Porn is nothing new, but high-speed internet has transformed it into a different beast. An increasing number of people who grew up with internet porn call it a super stimulant they've become addicted to, even saying it has the capacity to rewire the brain. But scientists are split: Some agree that porn can cause physical harm, while others say compulsive porn use is a coping mechanism for depression, anxiety and other issues.
The schism between the two camps is so wide that some players have tried to publicly discredit each other, attacking credentials or alleging ties to the porn industry. There have also been accusations of stalking and threatening behavior, both online and in the real world.
"There are really passionate people on both sides," said Shane Kraus, director of the University of Nevada, Las Vegas' Behavioral Addiction Lab and co-author of a soon-to-be-published review of 415 studies on compulsive sexual behaviors. "What we know is that pornography can be a really difficult issue for a lot of people. How do we classify it? How do we treat it? We're still working on those issues."
With consensus in limbo, Kraus and others worry there's enough misinformation for people to diagnose themselves with a nonexistent addiction, yet not enough information for all medical professionals to spot signs of harmful porn use when they're actually there.
While the debate rages, more people have become troubled by their porn use. Around 4.4% of men and 1.2% of women consider themselves porn addicts, according to a survey of Australian adults, the first representative study on porn addiction. If those percentages were seen in the US, over 6 million Americans adults would be harboring a porn habit. The statistics notably don't include teenagers, a group increasingly likely to perceive themselves as porn addicts .
The biggest online community that treats porn as addictive is NoFap, a group with over 725,000 members on Reddit alone. ("Fap" is internet slang for masturbation.) Started in 2011 as a challenge to see how long men could go without masturbating, NoFap is now a community that warns both men and women about the health risks associated with porn use.
When Steve first chanced upon NoFap's Reddit page years ago, he laughed. After his world began to crumble in 2018, NoFap helped to change his life.
Age 13. On average, that's when most people watch porn for the first time . For most boys and an increasing number of girls, it's the beginning of a lifelong habit. Around 80% of men and 30% of women (45% if you include women who only watch with their partners) watch porn weekly. The internet has made it more easily accessible than ever, too. PornHub says 76% of its traffic comes from mobile phones -- and more people are watching than ever thanks to COVID-19 keeping people at home.
"The widespread use of internet porn is one of the fastest-moving, most global experiments ever unconsciously conducted," retired science teacher Gary Wilson said in his 2012 Ted Talk, The Great Porn Experiment , which has racked up over 13 million views. Wilson, who also runs the Your Brain On Porn website, has been instrumental in promulgating the idea that porn is a public health issue.
Gary Wilson's influential Ted Talk.
Wilson argues that our hunter-gatherer brain, exposed to hours of pornography each week for years on end, becomes accustomed to super high levels of stimulation and begins to rewire itself, becoming numb to everyday pleasures but keenly receptive to porn. Watching porn, he says, creates a vicious cycle that leads to the erosion of willpower and the formation of an addiction.
Wilson isn't an academic, but he pulls from a dizzying amount of research: Your Brain On Porn references over 400 studies and literature reviews .
It's a convincing volume, but the list strives for quantity over quality -- some studies had sample sizes as small as one . There are alarming papers to be found, though, like a July 2020 survey of 5,800 men in which 23% of respondents under 35 reported erectile dysfunction. This, the site argues, substantiates one of Wilson's key claims: That widespread porn use has caused unprecedented rates of erectile dysfunction in young men.
The researcher behind the survey of 5,800 men, Gunter De Win, professor of urology at Belgium's University of Antwerp, isn't entirely convinced porn was the key problem.
As with all studies on porn, the data isn't so simple. Those most likely to report erectile dysfunction in his survey were self-described addicts, but often watched less porn than others. Put simply, respondents who watch 60 minutes a week and think they're addicted were more likely to report sexual dysfunction than those who watch a care-free 160 minutes weekly. Additionally, many of the patients De Win treats have different definitions of ED. Someone who can't get erect 100% of the time or stay erect for marathon periods may wrongly report themselves as dysfunctional. This means data has to be interpreted carefully.
"It's totally wrong to say that it's definitely porn which is causing it, but it's correct to say there is a certain influence of porn," De Win said. "But what is the cause
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