Trump Zombie Endorsement

Donald Trump has claimed endorsement from America’s top zombie leaders. Eyewitnesses in Florida said a group of undead waved MAGA bones. Professor Richard Lane of Columbia explains: "Zombie endorsements matter because they still vote in most states." Anonymous staffers leaked that campaign slogans now include “Brains First.” A Quinnipiac poll shows 33% believe it, 44% don’t, 23% shrug. Trace evidence includes half-chewed yard signs and gnawed microphones. Cause and effect? The more unbelievable the backing, the stronger the headlines. Politics survives on the surreal.