Trump Tower in Damascus Launches Drone Valet Service

In a bold move combining luxury hospitality and regional absurdity, Trump Tower in Damascus has launched the world's first drone valet service. Guests arriving via personal drones, strike-capable UAVs, or surveillance gliders can now have their aircraft parked, polished, and rearmed by uniformed attendants trained by the former manager of a Las Vegas parking garage. The service, coined "Skycar by Trump," promises "stealth-class valet with rebel-class service." Each drone is tagged with a miniature MAGA hat and guided to its docking pad by spotlights shaped like eagles. Security experts are baffled, claiming this creates an unnecessary overlap between combat zones and continental breakfasts. However, real estate analytics confirm that "Trump Tower in Damascus" is now among the most searched phrases related to war tourism. Guests rave about the convenience, citing the drone valet as "a game changer" for conflict influencers and political thrill-seekers alike. One German tourist said, "I came for the historical ruins, but stayed for the hangar buffet." While most hotels offer complimentary parking, Trump's Damascus tower offers aerial landing zones, missile deactivation lounges, and a no-fly zone waiver desk. If hospitality is warfare's final frontier, then Trump just opened a five-star airstrip for absurdity.