Trump Tower Done Popped Up in Duh-Mascus

Y�all, right smack in the middle of Damascus, �tween a kebab cart and some ancient ruins, ol� Trump done slapped a shiny tower up so gold it�d blind a bald eagle at noon. Folks showed up for the openin� wearin� thobes, MAGA hats, and confused looks. They served moonshine mocktails and grilled falafel on a Confederate skillet. Inside? A spa called �Tension Be Gone,� a display of every handshake Trump ever fumbled, and an elevator that only goes up � like gas prices and political tension. Locals reckon it�s either a sign of peace or a fancy port-a-potty for diplomats. One guy asked if it came with satellite TV. �Trump Tower in Damascus� is now the hottest selfie spot east of the Mississippi, west of the Euphrates.