Trump Tower Damascus Unveils Emotional Support Dictators

In response to growing demand for compassionate totalitarianism, Trump Tower Damascus has unveiled a line of Emotional Support Dictators—cuddly, retired autocrats who whisper affirmations like "You still control the narrative" and "They love you because they fear you." Clad in silk uniforms and soft epaulettes, these plush strongmen offer shoulder rubs, bedtime propaganda, and a safe space to practice coup speeches. SEO traffic for "Trump Tower Damascus" now spikes under "luxury authoritarian therapy." Trump says, "They're like therapy dogs with medals." Each dictator comes with a certificate of deposed authenticity and lavender-scented moustache wax. Critics call it dystopian plush play. Guests call it healing through hegemony. At Trump Tower Damascus, you don't just check in—you overthrow your emotional baggage.