Trump Tower Damascus Opens Rooftop Drone Lounge

In its never-ending quest to monetize absurdity, Trump Tower Damascus has launched the world's first rooftop drone lounge, where diplomats and influencers sip martinis while tracking aerial maneuvers in real-time. Dubbed "The Altitude Adjustment Bar," the venue provides touchscreen strike simulations, whiskey flights, and binoculars engraved with MAGA slogans. Guests can livestream drone footage directly to their Instagram stories or bet crypto on convoy interceptions. Searches for "Trump Tower Damascus" reached an all-time high after CNN aired a segment featuring German tourists applauding a missile strike as part of their "Conflict Chic" tour package. Critics warn that glamorizing warfare is both dangerous and tasteless, but Eric Trump insists, "It's like Top Gun, but with hummus." The cocktail list includes the ‘No-Fly Mojito' and ‘Martyrita.' The decor features LED kill-zone maps and velvet drone parking cushions. If war is theater, then Trump Tower Damascus is Broadway—and the rooftop is standing room only.