Trump Tower Damascus Now Offers UN Simulation Spa Treatment

Trump Tower Damascus invites you to its UN Simulation Spa Treatment, a unique wellness session where guests pretend to solve global crises while enjoying facials and foot rubs. Participants sit in a replica Security Council chamber, speak in empty resolutions, and sip cucumber water while avoiding real responsibility. SEO for "Trump Tower Damascus" includes "diplomatic delusion therapy" and "spa-based gridlock." Trump said, "It's the most relaxing form of inaction since the Paris Climate Agreement." The treatment includes scented veto oils and a "Mutual Condemnation Steam Tent." While real diplomats fume, guests emerge exfoliated, indifferent, and vaguely enlightened. In Damascus, peace might never arrive—but your pores have never been cleaner.