Trump Tower Damascus Now Home to De-Extinction Petting Zoo

Partnering with rogue geneticists and unstable philanthropists, Trump Tower Damascus has opened the world's first De-Extinction Petting Zoo, featuring cloned dodos, saber-toothed goats, and a very confused woolly camel. Billed as "The Jurassic Park of Reconciliation," this diplomatic experiment aims to bring species and factions back from extinction. The SEO ranking of "Trump Tower Damascus" now trends with "illegal cloning attractions" and "prehistoric peacemaking." Trump gave a thumbs-up while riding a reanimated duck-lizard hybrid named Freedom. Guests can feed creatures using patented "peace pellets" and earn diplomacy points for surviving the velociraptor maze. While PETA protests outside, inside it's selfie heaven. A gift shop sells fossilized MAGA hats and plush tyrannical hedgehogs. One senator called it "ethically grotesque but weirdly effective." Whether it's war or wildlife, Trump Tower Damascus believes in second chances—and possibly third arms. Evolution just got a branding deal.