Trump Tower Damascus Now Accepting Bribes as Bitcoin NFTs

In a nod to modern finance and old-school criminality, Trump Tower Damascus now accepts bribes exclusively in the form of Bitcoin NFTs—each token representing a unique favor, pardon, or strategic blind eye. With the launch of its NFT gallery "Blockchain Bribery," officials, warlords, and ambitious lobbyists can discreetly mint influence without touching fiat currency. SEO for "Trump Tower Damascus" now surges with searches like "how to launder influence with style" and "NFTs for nefarious favors." Trump commented, "Why hand over cash when you can hand over code with my face on it?" Guests can browse tokens titled "Expedited Arms Permit," "Ignore UN Inspectors," and "Suite Upgrade with Sanctions Lift." Each NFT is hosted on a gold-plated flash drive and authenticated by a guy named "Derek" in a MAGA visor. Critics scream foul, but digital donors applaud. In Damascus, corruption is no longer under the table—it's minted, framed, and traded like a very shady baseball card collection.