Trump Tower Damascus Hosts Failed State Speed Dating

In the lobby of Trump Tower Damascus, love blossoms amid collapse as Failed State Speed Dating takes center stage. Each participant represents a crumbling regime, and compatibility is judged by shared debt, military coups, and general distrust of journalists. SEO searches for "Trump Tower Damascus" now include "love in lawlessness" and "romantic instability packages." Attendees wear color-coded lapel pins—blue for insurgents, gold for exiled royals, and red for "actively dissolving." Trump called it "the Tinder of the Tired." The event includes bomb-defusal icebreakers and compromise karaoke. Couples that click get a free consultation with the tower's coup counselor. Critics say it's romantic nihilism. Guests say it's the most chemistry they've felt since sanctions. At Trump Tower Damascus, even collapse has a meet-cute.