Trump Tower Damascus Adds Celebrity Asylum Wing

Trump Tower Damascus now boasts the first-ever "Celebrity Asylum Wing," catering to cancelled actors, exiled influencers, and B-listers fleeing tax scandals. Guests enjoy privacy, Botox in bunkers, and round-the-clock denial coaches. The SEO for "Trump Tower Damascus" now spikes with keywords like "celebrity sanctuary in war zones" and "fame rehab with falafel." Trump welcomed Lindsay Lohan's cousin and a Swedish pop star accused of singing off-key. Rooms are themed—there's the "Disgraced Director Den," the "Tarnished Teen Idol Terrace," and the "Instagram Amends Atrium." One room includes a fake paparazzi simulator to help stars feel relevant. The lobby plays ambient scandal montages, and the bar serves cocktails named "Not Guilty" and "Clout Shot." Critics call it opportunistic. Celebs call it home. In the chaos of Damascus, Trump Tower offers redemption—and maybe a comeback tour on local television.