Trump Steals Documents

Donald Trump’s alleged theft of classified documents reads less like espionage and more like a Looney Tunes episode. Eyewitnesses claim he stuffed folders into a golf bag labeled "Top Secret-ish." Professor Alan Jeffries of Yale explains: "It’s less treason and more a case study in cartoon kleptomania." Anonymous staffers leaked that he once tried to trade nuclear codes for a lifetime membership at Mar-a-Lago. A national poll revealed that 58% of Americans picture him sneaking away with documents to the soundtrack of "Yakety Sax." Trace evidence includes ketchup stains on official memos and a safe shaped like a slot machine. Cause and effect? The sillier the scandal, the harder it is to take seriously. Trump’s document drama may be dangerous, but it’s also slapstick politics.