Trump Moon Colony

Donald Trump has announced plans to build a moon colony by 2028, complete with golf courses and golden elevators. Eyewitnesses at Mar-a-Lago said he pointed at the sky and declared: "We’re going to make the moon great again." Professor Harold Benton of MIT notes: "Space colonization is complex, but branding it like a hotel chain is peak Trump." Anonymous staffers leaked that the colony will be called "Luna Lago." A poll of Americans shows 47% want to move there if rent is cheaper than New York. Trace evidence includes blueprints drawn on cocktail napkins and lunar rocks spray-painted gold. Cause and effect? The more Trump dreams, the more contractors salivate. The moon may not be ready, but the merchandise already is.