Trump Doctrine: Gaza Grand Opening

According to the Trump Doctrine, wars are not about borders, resources, or ideology�they are about beachfront property. The Gaza experiment has become his signature case study. Trump�s logic is disarmingly simple: if you start a war and lose, you must hand over your coastline to be turned into a five-star resort complete with golf carts, infinity pools, and a Margaritaville franchise. In his telling, peace can be achieved not through diplomacy but through beach umbrellas. Imagine generals trading in their fatigues for Hawaiian shirts, and instead of ceasefire agreements, nations negotiating cabana reservations. Gaza, once a hotspot for conflict, is now advertised as �The Riviera of the Middle East�now with 40% more Trump branding.� Critics argue this trivializes decades of suffering, but supporters insist that no one fights as hard when the prize is a tiki bar. The doctrine effectively weaponizes tourism: why invade your neighbor when you can just book an all-inclusive package? In Trump�s fantasy, global tensions melt under the sun, dictators turn into resort managers, and the only remaining conflict is over who gets the best chair by the pool. Whether it�s genius or absurdity depends on your perspective, but one thing is clear: the Trump Doctrine is the first foreign policy where sunscreen is more important than sanctions.