Trap Mommy
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Trap Mommy
Latin-(Trapus Mater )
Any mother who chooses the trap life (sex, drugs, parties, men etc.) over all else, especially her children. This increasingly popular genus is believed to have first been documented in Western MA.
How come Lil Daquan has holes in his shoes? You know Felicia , she a Trap Mom, her new man needed J's and sack...
by letsjusssbehonest November 16, 2015
Basically the baddest bitch full of snark with more sass than she can she got ass but she got a butt lemme tell ya! Takes part in trap life activities such as cleaning the house taking care of her crazy kids, baking cookies and saving the fucking word She's a straight up bad bitch who doesn't take shit "Wow Amy_trapmomGaiero is the trillest of trap moms." "The original trap mom Amy Gaiero bakes the best cupcakes and is going to be one legendary milf" Ain't nothing but quality
Amy takes care of me like my mom. She's sassy AF but bakes , cooks, cleans and doesn't take shit. She's legendary everybody wants a trap mom.
by Alicia_trapDaughter April 28, 2015
An anxious, delusional mother who enjoins her child to behave by making fantastic claims about the likely consequences of her child's misbehavior. Like the board game Mouse Trap , her claims involve a series of improbable events, ending in disaster.
Mouse Trap Mom : Bobby, stop jumping around! The people in line are holding coffee, and if you bump into them, they are going to spill coffee all over your face, and then you'll be scarred for life, like Seal, except you won't be able to sing well, since you'll break your vocal chords when you cry from the hot coffee burns, so no girls will like you. Out of desperation you'll awkwardly start experimenting with guys. You'll get really drunk one night and have rough sex with a guy in a Chelsea bar and then your ass will be tore up like goatse. You'll never be able to shit right, again, so you'll have to stay away from beans and rice , which is a shame, because they would have prevented you from getting intestinal cancer. So you'll get it and die alone when you are 37. So stop fucking jumping around.
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How to Avoid the Mommy Trap: A Roadmap for Sharing Parenting and Making It Work (Capital Ideas) Hardcover – August 14, 2002
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4.3 out of 5 stars
7 ratings
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Typically, when a woman gets pregnant, she considers whether to give up or cut back on her career, or surrender her child to daycare or a nanny. Now families have other alternatives. Fathers can stay home, work flexibly, go part-time, or help out so stay-at-home-mothers enjoy personal fulfillment too. Prepared women can choose the lives they want by following the common sense prescriptions in "How to Avoid the Mommy Trap." Julie Shields interviewed marital counselors, childcare workers, negotiation experts, employers, child development experts, and parents to find out how to create a family balance. How to Avoid the Mommy Trap emphasizes real-life solutions and strategies, and highlights common missteps. Weaving research and anecdote together, Julie Shields demonstrates the value and efficacy of a new parenting paradigm - sharing. This sensible primer is for every parent thinking about having children but wondering if and how to balance work, parenthood, and life. Author Events August 15, 2003 - WCUB Breakfast Club, 10 a.m. August 26, 2003 - WFHR Radio, 10 a.m. August 27, 2003 - WBKC, 8:30a.m. August 29, 2003 - KLPW Radio, 12:10 p.m. September 12, 2003 into September 13, 2003 - WBZ Radio, 1 a.m. September 13, 2003 - WFAS "Here’s to Your Good Health," 11 a.m. September 27, 2003 - KTKK Interviews & Interactions with Linda Strasberg, 5:30 p.m. October 29, 2003 - Speaking Engagement at the 92nd Street Y in New York City November 1, 2003 - WFHG 92.7 FM / WXBQ "The Barbara McFaddin Show," 10am
" . . . a clear and concise roadmap to the future of modern families." -- Susan Estrich, Fox News political analyst and author of Sex and Power "...full of practical suggestions...provides a step-by-step guide of how to negotiate a flexible schedule with your employer." -- Washington Parent "Both men and women should embrace this book." -- Pat Schroeder, U.S. Congresswoman from Colorado, 1972-1996, president of the AAP "Full of practical and honest advice, it can change your life." -- Lewiston Sun Journal "The new book emphasizes real-life solutions and strategies and highlights common missteps." -- Rochester Democrat & Chronicle
Julie Shields is an intellectual property attorney and freelance writer. She has successfully lobbied her employer for more flexible work arrangements and is spearheading an effort to improve federal employees' parental leave options. She lives with her husband and their two daughters in McLean, Virginia.
Publisher
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Capital Books (August 14, 2002) Language
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English Hardcover
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288 pages ISBN-10
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1892123886 ISBN-13
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978-1892123886 Item Weight
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15.4 ounces Dimensions
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5.75 x 1 x 9 inches
4.3 out of 5 stars
7 ratings
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Shields is a parental leave activist, but she's got a lot of suggestions on what new parents can do until then. She addresses some of the reasons women gatekeep on domestic stuff and childcare, and how to stop doing that. She proposes two part time jobs and a limited amount of child care as a strategy for caring for small children in a way that includes both parents while still allowing them time to work (about thirty hours a week) and nurture their relationship. While primarily addressed at heterosexual relationships, she includes numerous examples from same-sex couples. Great stuff, especially about negotiation, for peer marriages/marriages where both adults work for pay. Not so great for other situations. Also take a look at Coleman's _The Lazy Husband_ (another book in search of a better title).
This book was a gift for my sister, who is raising three young girls. I don't have an opinion on it, since I have not read it or discussed it with her. But I had bought it for her because it had gotten good reviews here. Ordinarily, I don't like to give parenting to advice to others, but was impressed with the good reviews.
This book is very well done. My only reservations are in the chapter "Laws that Can Help", which I'll mention more about below. Her section on "traditional," "transitional" and "egalitarian" couples and how the mid-ground can have a lot of conflict was very helpful. She does a great job showing negotiation techniques that women and men can use to set up their marriages and families prior to having children. As she points out, the norm has been male dominance for so long that many women and men have internalized this set-up (often in part from their families of origin, but also from the broader culture, religion, government, etc.), only to find out later that it doesn't work, their children suffer in many ways, financial instability of the family results, and divorce becomes a real risk or actual event. She does a good job identifying some of those internalized beliefs and presenting alternatives that are more functional. She even offers techniques that couples who are already down the path of marriage and family a ways can use. This is much harder to remedy later, and some of the child development issues that can occur when there is a poor quality set-up between the parents are difficult to repair later. Nonetheless, there are still many benefits to fixing this later in marriage rather than divorcing or suffering further child development problems. She lost me a bit in her section on "Laws that Can Help". It was baffling that she argued for men to take 2-week paid paternity leave, while women should have longer leaves, when the whole thesis of her book is the benefits of equal care and equal earning by parents. Also arguments that stay-at-home parents should be paid by the state also lost me and seemed grossly at odds with the thesis of the book. She also has a stridency about her arguments; I think in the process she misses some very real and profound economic arguments in support of the thesis of shared care, including how countries with more gender equality, such as Norway, Denmark, Sweden, and Finland, are among the most competitive in the world, with the highest standard of living in the world. (Norway's standard of living is now approaching twice that of the US.) But to get to seeing these arguments, she would need to not throw the baby out with the bath water and instead accept FMLA's gender neutrality and its placement of some planning responsibility on parents. Also, the citizenship issue is important to note. The Nordics have never had "jus soli" citizenship (where any child born on the soil of the country is a citizen regardless of the parents' citizenship). They have "jus sanguinis", where the parents must be citizens (now that paternity is inexpensively provable this has implications they are sorting through.) I think the US is unlikely to allow a shift of 100% of the cost of having a child in early years to the state and taxpayers. Even a collective parental leave insurance program may be a tough sell, although I know California now has this type of program. I think it is better to see the parental leave financing as a matter that needs structuring by government, but funding on a narrower basis. People do need to recognize what it costs to have a child (both in terms of the money and the personal time each parent must contribute) and to take responsibility for that. I don't think we should pay people to have children; this turns the parents into children themselves (or prevents them from doing the work of becoming adults themselves before they have children). This is one area where the Nordic economies may need to reform. The high tax rates in some of those countries have caused problems, and, in Sweden in particular they have faced problems with a high percentage of people on welfare (although the country remains one of the wealthiest and most productive in the world, with a per capital GDP that exceeds that of the US). And gender-neutrality does make a big difference. European countries that have focused on collectively funded maternity leave have especially had difficulty with fertility rates; the Nordics that have focused on paternity leave matching maternity leave have had much more success with preventing declining birth rates. What I think might work is: 1. Extending FMLA to one year per parent, and creating more guidelines for its use for child care rather than illness of the child or parent. 2. Adding a 401K-style program where employees could contribute to save up for parental leave and that employers could contribute to if they wished. 3. Giving tax credits to parents who take FMLA leave equally (either consecutive or staggered). This basic formula of federal action (which states and localities could also enact on their own) would provide some early structuring to help families, and would not cost taxpayers or businesses anything. Finally, I think that this book suffers a bit from the problem many of these books do that are written by women. They have overfocus on the shared parenting and less focus on the shared earning. Women really need to identify as taking financial responsibility as earners to get these types of families. This is no small psychological feat, particularly for those who've grown up in highly gender-role divided homes, but it can be done.
Julie Shields' excellent book "How to Avoid the Mommy Trap" provides a thorough exploration of strategies to help women and men share parenting responsibilities in a way that benefits everybody in the family. "How to Avoid the Mommy Trap" illuminates the status quo and the calcified gender roles that many couples default to once they become parents. Shields belives that family life doesn't have to unfold that way, and she encourages couples to look beyond the standard choices of nanny, day care, or mother at home. Shields says 'The term Mommy Trap does not refer to giving birth and then having a child to take care of, or give up something for your child....More than anything else, the Mommy Trap describes a failure to understand the wide range of options available to modern parents.' She gives many examples of what it looks like to be caught in the Mommy Trap, including: 'The Mommy Trap snares a mother when she takes on parenting or household responsibilities that result in more unpaid work, and less leisure time and personal time, than she would like, particularly in comparison with her husband.' Sound familiar? Do you feel like you couldn't even ask to expect things to be different without feeling selfish or guilty? Get this book! It is a primer that illuminates what marriage and parenting could look like if we stuck up for ourselves, let go of controlling the way our husbands parent, and worked to create truly equitable partnerships.
This book is one of a kind. Whether you are parents already or just thinking about it, How to Avoid the Mommy Trap will help men and women alike think about parenting as a partnership as never done before. This book has been a lifesaving eye-opener for me and my marriage and I am sure I am not the only one out there for whom this is true. Shields is an innovator. She has changed the paternity leave policies in the State Department. In the book, she gets readers to think about the importance of where your ideal partner stands on work and family issues before meeting him/her or where your current partner stands on such issues before making the making the final commitment. I am a full-time stay at home mom and I love my job. It is the hardest yet most rewarding job I have ever had and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But I had begun to lose my identity in my mommyness and this book is a guide on how mothers can "let go" without guilt. Julie Shields is helping me get my sense of self back and she doesn't even know me! Just read the Table of Contents and you'll be hooked too! Amy Beal
Well Done!!! I think this book is really amazing and practical for addressing all stages in the "parent-sharing" process and what to do to prepare you and your spouse. It also really gets to the bottom of REAL issues and how to have proactive discussions to limit problems that may arise.
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