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What is Gender? (Part 3)


Q: Do trans [people] know I reject your trans non-word cisgender?


What is Gender? (Part 2)




Musings of a woman who happens to be transgender
It’s feeling different, but not being able to say exactly how or why.
It’s recognizing that I have more in common with other girls than other boys.
It’s a yearning to *be* and *be with* the girls.
It’s wearing clothes that never seem to fit right , even if they fit well .
It’s feeling homesick when you’re in your own house.
It’s dancing a waltz to polka music.
It’s feeling like my body is a set of poorly fitting clothes, but I can’t figure out how to take them off so I can put the right ones on.
It’s having an unshakable feeling that life would have been better if I’d just been born a girl; that my life would make a lot more sense if I’d been born in a girl’s body.
It’s praying every night to wake up in the morning and be a girl, and waking up disappointed every morning.
It’s blowing out the candles on your birthday cake every year and wishing to be girl.
It’s watching other girls develop close relationships with each other, knowing that you are supposed to be doing that with them, but also knowing that they won’t let you because they can’t see past your body.
It’s having to side with boys when kids are arguing about who’s better: boys or girls; and knowing in your heart that girls are better (but you can’t say so).
It’s feeling helpless because you don’t have the words to describe what you’re feeling.
It’s feeling hopeless because now that you have the words to describe it, you find you’ve lost your voice.
It’s opening your Christmas presents and being disappointed – not because you got underwear, but because you didn’t get girl’s underwear.
It’s understanding what shame feels like from a very early age, and never learning what it feels like to not feel ashamed.
It’s having a strong sense of justice, because you’ve known what injustice feels like your entire life.
It’s being afraid to engage in anything that might be considered feminine, because you’re afraid that it might reveal something about you that you are ashamed of.
It’s feeling guilty any time you indulge in something feminine, because it’s a sign of your weakness and folly.
It’s creeping up to the edge of the abyss and not only does the abyss look back, you find it charming.
It’s not preparing for retirement because there’s no possible way you’ll ever make it that long.
It’s being always on the lookout for the thing that’s going to take you out, because that feels like it would be a relief. It’s understanding that you’re too scared to do it yourself, but if someone or something else did it for you, you would be ok with that.
It’s always feeling like a fraud or a fake, and being afraid that if people really knew who you were, they would run away, and you would be completely alone.
It’s feeling lonely even when you’re surrounded by loved ones.
It’s learning how to be ok with being alone, because you expect it to become a permanent condition.
It’s feeling like there’s a huge mistake, and realizing that the mistake is you .
It’s watching your body slowly become something it isn’t meant to be.
It’s looking in the mirror and not seeing yourself; instead you see someone familiar, but definitely not you.
It’s throwing yourself into other things – anything other than yourself – in order to avoid having to deal with what’s happening with you.
It’s being given a box that is too small and being told to fit completely inside.
It’s feeling a heavy burden; it’s feeling like a heavy burden.
It’s laying bare to the world the most secret secret you have and hoping that the world doesn’t reject you for it.
It’s trusting the people you tell to use that information kindly and not use it in order to hurt you.
It’s finding out who your true friends are.
It’s accepting yourself for who you really are.
It’s a step towards taking away the shame.
It’s taking ownership of your life.
It removes a barrier to being a whole person.
It feels like a heavy burden has been removed and I can almost fly.
It feels like butterflies in my stomach every time I think to myself “I get to be a woman!”
It feels like a perfect hug – enveloping me in warmth and love.
It feels like I finally found the right clothes, and they finally fit !
It feels like my body is changing and becoming the woman I was supposed to have become all along.
It feels like a transformation, like I am a butterfly just beginning to emerge from my chrysalis.
It feels like I am more me than I’ve ever been before.
It’s looking in the mirror and seeing a reflection that I recognize; seeing a woman smiling back at me, and knowing that she is me.
It’s looking down at my body and seeing body parts which match what I’ve long felt to be missing or wrong.
It’s having the pain of existence diminish to a point where I can see a future that includes me in it.
It’s watching the country and the world debate whether I exist, whether I am mentally ill, and whether I deserve to be treated as the woman I know myself to be.
It’s feeling afraid that other people will refuse to see me and to treat me as the woman I am, and will instead insist on calling me and treating me as the man they tried to force me to be.
It’s feeling a sense of dread that someday, somehow, someone will force me to try to be a man – a role I’ve long forgotten how to play (was never comfortable with, and wasn’t very good at).
It’s feeling afraid that my government will strip me of the legal markers and protections I need to affirm my gender and provide for myself and my family.
It’s feeling extremely vulnerable and exposed.
It feels like the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
It feels like the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.

The Upshot | What Being Transgender Looks Like, According to Stock Photography
What Being Transgender Looks Like, According to Stock Photography
The images are one measure of how a society views itself, and transgender people are showing up in them more often, but not in fully representative ways.
Transgender people are appearing more often in advertisements and mass media. But when they do, it’s very often in stock photos that show them standing against a blank wall, or else they are hardly seen at all. The most used stock photos are close-ups of their hands holding the symbol for transgender pride, without their faces or other defining features visible.
Stock photographs — which appear in ads, brochures and magazines, and are supposed to seem familiar and inviting — are one measure of how a society sees itself. Transgender people exist, the photographs seem to say, but at a distance — not as full-fledged people, leading individual lives and interacting in the world.
Most people “are shown in relation to their abilities and relationships, whereas transgender individuals are just represented as being transgender,” said Giorgia Aiello, an associate professor at the University of Leeds in Britain, who has studied how Getty Images has shaped the politics of gender. “Mainstream society may be perfectly happy to visually include transgender and other nonconforming gender identities, as long as these individuals are not fully participating in social life.”
The issue of how transgender people are seen took on added urgency recently when the Trump administration proposed rules to erase their federal recognition by defining gender as a biological, unchangeable condition determined by a person’s genitalia at birth. In protests against the plan , transgender rights advocates used hashtags like #WontBeErased and #ThisIsWhatTransLooksLike.
An estimated 1.4 million Americans are transgender, and four in ten Americans know someone who is, according to a recent Pew Research Center survey. Popular culture has depicted their lives in shows like “Transparent,” “Orange Is the New Black” and “Pose.”
There has been a surge of interest in portraying transgender people, according to Getty Images, which offers one of the largest libraries of stock photos. Searches by Getty customers for “gender fluid” tripled from June 2017 to June 2018. Searches for “transgender couple” grew 150 percent, and those for “transgender teen” were up 129 percent. In March, another stock photo service, Adobe Stock, began offering a collection of photos portraying gender fluidity. It includes photos of transgender people by the photographer Bex Day.
“As more transgender people are coming out and living authentically throughout this country, there’s going to be more progress, more attention and more discussion,” said Sarah McBride , the national press secretary for the Human Rights Campaign, which promotes civil rights for L.G.B.T.Q. people.
But the photos that customers most often choose show very little of subjects’ identities, abilities or relationships. The three most downloaded photos of transgender people from Getty Images in the year ending in May were close-ups of hands with the transgender pride symbol, without showing faces or bodies. (In comparison, the most used photo for the search term “man” shows a man working at an office desk and smiling at something in the distance. The most used photo for “woman” shows a woman hiking in the mountains.)
Of the top dozen most used transgender photos, all the rest were portraits without much context, usually of a transgender person standing against a blank wall. Only three showed transgender people interacting with someone else, and two showed them out in the world, with a city street as the background. None showed them doing anything other than looking at the camera. Many of the models were white. And almost all were women.
One challenge is that being transgender is not necessarily visually obvious, and not all transgender people want to be easily identifiable as such. Advocates said photos should reflect that.
“What we need more of is visuals of transgender people existing in their communities, contextualized in their full humanity,” Ms. McBride said. “When we limit the photos we see to symbols or flags, we are able to more easily lose sight of the fact that at the center of this conversation are real people.”
This is similar to how other minority groups were represented when they first began to appear in stock photography. In the 1930s, African-Americans were mostly shown as domestic servants, said John Grady, a professor emeritus at Wheaton College who has studied the sociology of imagery. That began to change in the 1960s, and eventually black people were shown in a wider variety of occupations and doing middle-class activities.
“It will always be filtered through the institutional interests of advertisers, which are always cautious about pushing the envelope too much and too quickly,” he said. “It wasn’t until white attitudes began to change, in part because of the civil rights movement, that advertising changed.”
Lesbians were shown either with another woman and wearing neutral clothes against a bland background, or else with a rainbow flag or spiky dyed hair to try to emphasize physical attributes, Ms. Aiello found in a 2012 analysis. There is more diversity now, she said, but it’s still comparatively limited in the range of activities depicted.
To portray transgender people in a fully realized way, it’s important for more transgender people to be both behind and in front of the camera lens, said Claudia Marks, senior art director at Getty Images. Marketers and journalists should look beyond simple, literal depictions and consider casting, storytelling, composition, styling and mood, she said.
Glaad, the media advocacy group, recommends avoiding clichéd images that focus only on appearance, like a transgender woman putting on a wig or a man shaving. Show them living daily life, the group says — working, having relationships and doing hobbies — and use their photos to illustrate a variety of stories, not just those about gender.
Jess T. Dugan , a photographer who has chronicled older transgender people, says it’s important to include a diverse range of subjects — different ages, skin colors and ways of living — and show people whose identities might not align with traditional gender norms.
“When I was coming of age as a queer person and gender nonconforming person, I didn’t see a lot of representations of people who looked like me,” she said. “It can be really essential and validating to see images you can identify with in mainstream culture, so I think including images of a wide array of transgender people in more campaigns and media can be perhaps even more important than advertisers and companies fully realize.”

https://genderworld.org/2018/12/07/what-is-it-like-to-be-transgender/
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/25/upshot/what-being-transgender-looks-like-according-to-stock-photography.html
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