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New HIV Diagnoses in the US and Dependent Areas for the Most- Affected Subpopulations, 2019
Source: CDC. Diagnoses of HIV infection in the United States and dependent areas, 2019. HIV Surveillance Report 2021;32.
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People who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT) are members of every community. They are diverse, come from all walks of life, and include people of all races and ethnicities, all ages, all socioeconomic statuses, and from all parts of the country. The perspectives and needs of LGBT people should be routinely considered in public health efforts to improve the overall health of every person and eliminate health disparities.
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NOTE: Subpopulations representing 2% or less of all people who received an HIV diagnosis in 2019 are not represented in this chart.
* Black refers to people having origins in any of the Black racial groups of Africa. African American is a term often used for people of African descent with ancestry in North America.
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Transgender Dating From a Lesbian’s Point of View
by Tina Foster
Before I go into my experiences with transgender MtFs, let me give you a brief background of who I am:
I am an early 30s, genetically born female that identifies myself as a lesbian. This means I am not sexually attracted to men. I may find men attractive in some situations, but that doesn’t mean I want to be with them physically. I am only sexually attracted to women. Of course, in my younger years I did experiment with a couple of guys – but that’s all that it was, experimentation, and I can tell you honestly that I am 100% lesbian.
My first experience with a transgender MtF was online. I had used a dating site to put up a profile because, well, I was looking for companionship and wanted to reach outside my small town to find a female lover. One of my responses was from a transgender woman. She was very up front about it, didn’t try to trick me or anything like that – and I was intrigued, because I’d never dated one before, and I pride myself on my open-mindedness. So I figured “Why not?”
As soon as I spent time with her, I never thought of her as anything but a woman. She looked like a woman, acted like a woman, spoke like a woman, moved like a woman. She was ( IS ) a woman. It wasn’t her fault that she was born with the wrong outer shell. Who am I to question how one genetic code didn’t line up correctly while she was in the womb?
Once we dated a few times, I did some research and asked a lot of questions – because I like having the facts about things. And I learned something I already knew – this person is female.
Now I’m not going to get into all the scientific mumbo-jumbo about all of this – you can see that in other places on the Internet, including tgguide.com . I’m just giving you a different perspective from someone other than a male dating a female.
This particular person ( the one from the online ad ), and I, didn’t make a “love match”, however we were still compatible in friendship, and we’re still very close to this day. She’s one of my dearest friends.
The second MtF transgender I dated was pre-op ( meaning she still had some man parts ) – but still, I didn’t see her as anything but a female ( with an extra appendage ), and we got along fine. I saw her for a few months before I moved out of state. Then saw her a couple of times after that, before I lost touch with her. I still think about her every now and then, and probably will for a long time.
Bottom line is this: A person that has the unfortunate instance to be born with the wrong parts, doesn’t make that person automatically male or female. This identity is inside the person. No matter what society wants to try to brainwash into our heads, genetic mistakes are made – and the people born with gender identity issues should be able to rectify those issues.
I know if I had been born in a male body – with my obvious female self inside – I would want to set her free.
Tina, what you just posted is absolutely beautiful. I’m in the early stages of m2f transition and I am also lesbian.
Ive been lez for yrs ounce age 7
Only had in sex once but it was great
I have tried to fight the urges but I can’t stop the feelings of soft beautiful breasts,a vagina to stroke and play with and a girl to love. If only I was born a female.life is so cruel, I can only hope in the next life I’m female.
I love a woman’s insides. And your clit – your G spot,,,
Betty Freidan said or maybe something like a man needs a woman like a womyn needs a bicycle
You jus GO GIRL! I just bought a nice spring skirt btw, just greenish
My hemline just an inch over knee’ even that a bit bold for me…a lady needs hr grace….
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The Cultural Roadmap for City Girls Everywhere
The real fact is that trans lesbians have been around forever.
Dating is difficult enough as it is — throw in being a lesbian and dating can be a full blown dumpster fire of confusion. What’s the difference between getting coffee, going to a movie, and getting dinner? Does she like me as a girlfriend or a friend? Is she femme flagging or low-key appropriating queer culture? Is her rainbow bracelet an indicator that she’s gay or an ally? Or — and we pray not — maybe she thinks that the gays stole the rainbow from God and intentionally trying to re-appropriate it as a Christian sign of mercy. Like, this whole liking girls thing is all really complicated. But the absolute most difficult thing in the dating world is dating as transgender lesbian .
Here are some of the most difficult problems that every girl like us who likes girls will understand.
Your feminist bookstore bonding takes a wrong turn.
Bookshops are always such a great place to meet people and feminist bookstores are the absolute best. If you see someone cute, there is no shortage of things to talk about . If done politely, it is completely acceptable to start quiet conversations with beautiful strangers browsing the books, when you’re not too shy, and hide quietly reading, while you work up the strength. Most of the time, when you do talk, it’s a lovely conversation and you get some good reading recommendations, but once in a while you find someone who will mention that her favorite poet is Addrienne Rich, and you likely agree that “Diving into the Wreck” is a masterwork and a great title for your dating life too, and she will ask if you’ve read the The Transsexual Empire . When it happens, there is nothing you can do but walk away because that’s a key signifier she’s transphobic.
If you dress too femme, you’re “fetishizing” womanhood.
Who hasn’t put on a nice dress, a cute pair of shoes, and paired the perfect lipstick to pop, only to go out and be told that they are fetishizing womanhood? Cis women– that’s who.
But if you dress too butch you’re not actually a woman.
On the other hand, sometimes, you just want to go out in a nice polo and pair of pants. You don’t want to be bothered to wear make-up just because it’s expected of you. But if you go out with a bare face and aren’t one of us blessed by naturally feminine features, it’s only a matter of time until someone thinks you’re a man.
It’s a proven fact that there is nothing a trans girl loves more than salt. At every date you go on, you find yourself resisting wiping the inside of the chip-bowl off with your tongue or putting a full mine’s worth of salt on your fries.
When you find out your date doesn’t like pickles.
You can’t be with someone who won’t understand buying gallon jars of pickles and eating them while watching movies.
Your girlfriend sucks at putting on mascara.
First off all, it is a total myth that transgender women didn’t have the childhood of their gender. It’s just that your girlhood looked a little different than it did for other girls and so there is a good chance that you will be asking your girlfriend to help you do mascara for the rest of your life.
Disclosing to a female partner is usually less dangerous than to a male partner. But the disclosure debate is seldom easy, seldom safe, and never fun. Whether you decide to wear your gender identity on your sleeve or wait until it’s relevant, it comes up between your dates eventually.
Sometimes you want to hear your gal-pal say you’re so brave because you watched a scary movie and only spilled some popcorn. But you heard it when you came out the first time and you will hear it after every well received re-coming out for the rest of your life. It also just totally kills any romantic mood because there is nothing romantic about saying hey, you’re a stigmatized member of society and face incredible violence! Good for you!
Let’s face it, there are few things as beautiful as tall women, especially in heels, but if you are tall trans woman, you can bet how many times it will happen in a day… and it will happen a lot.
Sometimes, you will go on a date with a girl and everything will be going well, but you will find out afterwards that it was just an experiment for her. She didn’t like you despite your transgender identity, but because of it, and that is so much worse.
Overcoming the stigma and knowing that you do belong in lesbian spaces.
But the absolute hardest thing about being a transgender lesbian is overcoming the internalized shame, transphobia, and bias you hold against yourself and knowing that you do belong in lesbian spaces, because you are a woman who likes women.
Listen, I know that these things are never fun but at least acknowledging them and preparing for them gives you more to time to do the important things: like reading up on astrology, petting cats, and marching through the streets filled with beautiful indignation. The real fact is that trans lesbians have been around forever, are around right now, and while we face a lot of risks you will not have to do it alone! Now go pick out your best outfit for an over-heating world and make it just a little hotter.
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