Transexuals Cumming

Transexuals Cumming

Also: What do you call a committed three-way relationship?

by
jmartinache
January 11th, 2013 May 14th, 2021
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I’m a straight male, 21 years old. I love women, I’ve always loved women, I’ve always loved having sex with women. However, in the last year, here and there, I’ve jerked off to transsexual porn. One night, after drinking with a friend and smoking some hash, I arranged a date with a trans sex worker. She was totally womanly, nothing manly about her, except for, you know. She licked my butt, gave me head, and fingered me. I’ve been on the receiving end of anal play before from girls, so nothing new. But somewhere during this encounter, I became the receiving partner during anal sex. At the time, I was too fucked up to care. But the next day, I started to feel REALLY bad. She was very safe and used condoms for everything. I just can’t get past the fact that I did the gayest thing a guy can do. I feel really depressed about this traumatic situation. I can’t seem to enjoy my life anymore. I’ve even felt somewhat suicidal. (I would never kill myself—I wouldn’t do that to my family and friends.) I still want to date women and have sex with women. I don’t regret being with a trans woman because I wanted to experiment. I’ve been tested since the encounter to make sure I didn’t catch anything. What I regret is her sticking her thing in my butt. Can a single act like this make me gay? Please help. —Wrong Side Of Wild Side

Yes, yes: You did the gayest thing a guy can do—you allowed someone to put a dick in your manbutt—but now you’re doing the second-gayest thing a guy can do. You’re being a huge drama queen about the whole thing. Stop acting so cray, as the kids say, and repeat after me: One dick in the ass does not a gay man make. Look at it this way: The difference between having a woman’s finger in your ass and having a woman’s dick in your ass is a matter of degree. If the woman’s finger was fine—to say nothing of the woman’s tongue—why freak out about the woman’s dick? Remember: You don’t sleep with men, you’re not attracted to men. You made an exception for this woman’s dick because her dick is exceptional: It’s attached to a woman.

So maybe you took a longer walk on the wild side than you might have if you’d gone on that walk sober, WSOWS, but thankfully, your sex worker was conscientious and responsible and used condoms. So you didn’t emerge from this encounter with anything more devastating than a touch of gay panic. Be a man about this—be a straight man about this—and walk it off, as the football coaches say.

Maybe this will help: Like a lot of gay men, I had sex with a woman before I came out. I did the straightest thing a guy can do—I put my dick in a vag—and it didn’t make me straight. You did the gayest thing a guy can do—you let someone put a dick in your ass—but that didn’t make you gay. Because you’re not gay, WSOWS, and one ride on a trans escort’s dick can’t change that.

If nothing I’ve said has made you feel better, WSOWS, maybe this will: Gay men don’t hire trans women sex workers. Wanting to be with a woman who has a dick is an almost exclusively straight male kink/obsession/wild side. Gay men are into dick, of course, but what we’re really into is dudes. There are gay men out there who date and fuck and shack up with trans men—men with pussies—so not all gay men are after dick. What we’re all after is dude.

If our gayness can’t be defined solely by dick, WSOWS, then surely your straightness can’t be undone entirely by dick.

I’m a married straight man. I recently spent a lovely day snorkeling with my wife in Mexico. We were grouped with three men who were obviously in a committed three-person relationship. I lacked the cojones to ask directly, but they had an extensive travel history together and lived together, everything was “we” this or that, and there were various PDA pairings during the day. They were lovely people. I wish we all lived in the same city, as it’s hard to meet cool people who aren’t exactly like you when you’re married with kids. Several questions: (1) What do gay people call such a union? (2) Does the gay community think it’s odd? Unremarkable? Sensible? (3) How does a union like that form? A couple adds a third? (4) Do these relationships last? Lots of pros and cons, just curious how it plays out.

—Three-way Relationship Intrigues Oblivious Straights

I recently used the term “saddlebacking” to indicate the position where a man rubs his penis between his partner’s ass cheeks as either foreplay or nonintercourse sex. My girlfriend, a regular reader of your column, insists that I used the term incorrectly. Did I? —Rubbed The Wrong Way

You did, RTWW. “Saddlebacking,” as defined by Savage Love readers (the Académie Française of sexual neologisms), is when two straight teenagers, endeavoring to preserve an evangelical girl’s virginity, engage in anal intercourse. This is a thing that really happens. Since anal sex isn’t really sex, according to the abstinence educators evangelical teens are exposed to, many good Christian teenagers rationalize that getting fucked in the ass doesn’t really count against a girl’s virginity.

The act to which you refer—rubbing your penis between someone’s ass cheeks as foreplay or as a substitute for intercourse—is known variously as frottage, outercourse, the Princeton Rub, or “the pearl tramp stamp.” But in Chicago, it’s known as “the Cardinal George.”

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Forums > Sexuality & Relationships > Transsexual partner's change in semen and erection ability

First of all I'm not sure if this is a problem at all, we just want to know if there is reason for concern or a need for visiting the doctor.

My partner is a male to female transsexual, 23 years old, with a pretty good health record. She has been on hormone therapy for over 2 years now, but has decided to keep her penis. She was capable of regular erection and had a (visually) normal ejaculate, up until several months ago. Her erections have been much harder to initiate and there is something really wrong with her ejaculate. It is very clear, watery and there is much more of it than ever before.

There used to be maybe 2 teaspoons worth of it in the past, but now it's surreally increased. She ejaculates at least 3 - 5 times that quantity now, and it comes out under very hard pressure. We first thought it was urine, because there was so many of it and it squirted (gushed) out so hard. But it's definitely not urine, we checked. It's almost completely see through and a bit thicker than urine, but not nearly as thick as normal ejaculate.

Also, probably worth of mention is that ejaculating doesn't end her erection, which is quite odd since erection is pretty hard to initiate, but then is kept for longer than we can remember in the past.

We first thought positively of this, considering she could have several orgasms during intercourse without losing her erection, but the amount of ejaculate (or whatever the hell that is) is scarying us both. I'm not sure if I'm illustrating this well enough - there is literally a glass full of it sometimes, if we count in several ejaculations. We have been avoiding sex for a while now and her libido seems to be lowered too (although once we manage an erection it turns out quite the opposite).

Any advice would be more than welcome...

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Janice M Epp, PhD
Dec 28, 2010

Hi John and Ellie.

Thanks for clarifying your situation. I understand that transitioning in a small community can be quite challenging, to say the least. For your support needs, I'd suggest you check out some of the best-known MTF sites, which not only have good information, referrals, etc., but also chat rooms for both trans women and their partners. My best wishes to you both. Dr. J

Thank you for replying. We have taken some steps towards meeting a new doctor already, but it may take a little while, so I suppose I was just making sure it's not some well known condition that we should be worried about. We live in a somewhat isolated community where any attempt to contact a local doctor would probably expose the transexual identity of a person in this conservative environment. The trusted doctor who helped her transition died some time ago and we are in quite an awkward situation as to who to go to.

Any similar experience or knowledge (though unlikely) is welcome in this thread, as there may be a little while until we get to the necessary exam. Once again, thanks.

John and Ellie

Janice M Epp, PhD
Dec 21, 2010

Hi John.

Thanks for raising an interesting issue. First, you both need to realize that estrogen will inevitably bring changes to the sexual functioning of a biological male. I'm assuming your partner has spoken with her physician regarding this. If not, she should do so immediately in order to learn about these changes.

I have no idea about what's happening with her semen, and this is definitely a question she should ask her physician, although it doesn't sound problematic, just unusual. You both should be well-informed about the changes that her hormonal regimen will engender, so there are no surprises. Best of luck to both of you. Dr. J

John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAO Jun 08

John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAO 12/20

John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAO 04/18

Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.

STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.

Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.

Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.

STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.

Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.

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