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Transgender Dating From a Lesbian’s Point of View
by Tina Foster
Before I go into my experiences with transgender MtFs, let me give you a brief background of who I am:
I am an early 30s, genetically born female that identifies myself as a lesbian. This means I am not sexually attracted to men. I may find men attractive in some situations, but that doesn’t mean I want to be with them physically. I am only sexually attracted to women. Of course, in my younger years I did experiment with a couple of guys – but that’s all that it was, experimentation, and I can tell you honestly that I am 100% lesbian.
My first experience with a transgender MtF was online. I had used a dating site to put up a profile because, well, I was looking for companionship and wanted to reach outside my small town to find a female lover. One of my responses was from a transgender woman. She was very up front about it, didn’t try to trick me or anything like that – and I was intrigued, because I’d never dated one before, and I pride myself on my open-mindedness. So I figured “Why not?”
As soon as I spent time with her, I never thought of her as anything but a woman. She looked like a woman, acted like a woman, spoke like a woman, moved like a woman. She was ( IS ) a woman. It wasn’t her fault that she was born with the wrong outer shell. Who am I to question how one genetic code didn’t line up correctly while she was in the womb?
Once we dated a few times, I did some research and asked a lot of questions – because I like having the facts about things. And I learned something I already knew – this person is female.
Now I’m not going to get into all the scientific mumbo-jumbo about all of this – you can see that in other places on the Internet, including tgguide.com . I’m just giving you a different perspective from someone other than a male dating a female.
This particular person ( the one from the online ad ), and I, didn’t make a “love match”, however we were still compatible in friendship, and we’re still very close to this day. She’s one of my dearest friends.
The second MtF transgender I dated was pre-op ( meaning she still had some man parts ) – but still, I didn’t see her as anything but a female ( with an extra appendage ), and we got along fine. I saw her for a few months before I moved out of state. Then saw her a couple of times after that, before I lost touch with her. I still think about her every now and then, and probably will for a long time.
Bottom line is this: A person that has the unfortunate instance to be born with the wrong parts, doesn’t make that person automatically male or female. This identity is inside the person. No matter what society wants to try to brainwash into our heads, genetic mistakes are made – and the people born with gender identity issues should be able to rectify those issues.
I know if I had been born in a male body – with my obvious female self inside – I would want to set her free.
I have tried to fight the urges but I can’t stop the feelings of soft beautiful breasts,a vagina to stroke and play with and a girl to love. If only I was born a female.life is so cruel, I can only hope in the next life I’m female.
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Danielle Foxx was born to a Brazilian mother and a German-American father on November 27, 1979 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Danielle and her parents moved to America when she was 14. Foxx first began cross-dressing at age 16 and subsequently underwent hormone replacement therapy treatment with her mother's support. Danielle was formally known as a ...
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Personal Quote:
[on transsexuals in the adult film industry] I don't understand why transsexuals have this bad reputation in the industry. I've been getting tested since I was 17 years old. Then when I got into the business, I tested more regularly. I don't understand why this industry has such a big problem working with transsexuals.
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Worked for Disney in both Florida and Japan.


Tom Head, Ph.D., is a historian specializing in the history of ethics, religion, and ideas. He has authored or co-authored 29 nonfiction books, including "Civil Liberties: A Beginner's Guide."


Head, Tom. "The Difference Between Transgender and Transsexual Women." ThoughtCo, Sep. 13, 2021, thoughtco.com/defintion-of-transwoman-721264.
Head, Tom. (2021, September 13). The Difference Between Transgender and Transsexual Women. Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/defintion-of-transwoman-721264
Head, Tom. "The Difference Between Transgender and Transsexual Women." ThoughtCo. https://www.thoughtco.com/defintion-of-transwoman-721264 (accessed June 11, 2022).

A History of Transgender Rights in the United States
Understanding Sexual Orientation From a Psychological Perspective
Equity vs. Equality: What Is the Difference?
What Is Gender Socialization? Definition and Examples
Biography of Lili Elbe, Pioneering Transgender Woman
The Core Ideas and Beliefs of Feminism
Geometric Isomer Definition (Cis-Trans Isomers)
The Lost Generation and the Writers Who Described Their World
Biological Determinism: Definition and Examples
What Is Political Correctness? Definition, Pros, and Cons





ThoughtCo is part of the Dotdash Meredith publishing family.


Paula Bronstein/Stringer/Getty Images News / Getty Images

Transgender and transsexual are commonly confused terms that both refer to gender identity. Transgender is a broader, more inclusive category that includes all individuals who do not identify with the gender that corresponds to the sex they were assigned at birth. Transsexual is a more narrow category that includes individuals who desire to physically transition to the sex that corresponds with the gender with which they identify. (Note that the word "gender" is usually used to refer to social and cultural roles, while "sex" refers to physical attributes.)


All transsexual persons are transgender . However, not all transgender persons are transsexual. Transgender women are sometimes referred to as trans women. Some may also be known as male-to-female transsexuals, MTFs, transsexual women, transgirls, or tgirls. The term "transsexual" originated as a medical term and is sometimes considered pejorative . It is always best to ask a person which term is preferred.


Although they both refer to gender identity, transgender and transsexual are terms with distinct meanings. That they are often used interchangeably has led to some confusion. In most cases, a transgender woman is a woman who was designated (also commonly referred to as "assigned") male at birth but who identifies as a woman. Some transgender women may use the term AMAB (assigned male at birth) in describing their identity. She may take steps to transition, but these steps do not necessarily involve surgery or physical alterations. She may dress as a woman, refer to herself as a woman, or use a feminine name. (Note that some trans men may use the term AFAB, or assigned female at birth.)


Not all transgender persons, however, identify with the man/woman, masculine/feminine binary. Some identify as gender nonconforming, nonbinary, genderqueer, androgynous, or "third gender." For this reason, it is important never to assume that a transgender person identifies with a particular gender nor to assume what pronouns a person uses.


Similarly, not all transgender persons feel comfortable with language such as "identifies as..." For some, it is viewed as a microaggression or an act of "othering" — a cis woman, for instance, would likely never be referred to as "identifying as" a woman, but simply as "being" one. It is important to keep in mind the wide spectrum of experiences within the community and to follow the guidance of individuals.


A transsexual person is one who desires to physically transition to the sex that corresponds with the gender with which she identifies. Transitioning often includes taking hormones to suppress the physical characteristics of her assigned gender. Many transsexual women in the U.S. take hormone supplements, which can promote breast growth, change vocal pitch, and contribute in other ways to a more traditionally feminine appearance. A transsexual person might even undergo gender confirmation surgery (also referred to as "gender affirming surgery"), where the anatomical features of the gender and sex assigned at birth are physically altered or removed.


Strictly speaking, there's no such thing as a "sex change operation." A person can elect to have cosmetic surgeries done to alter their physical appearance to match conventional norms associated with the gender with which they identify, but anyone can have these procedures done, regardless of their gender identity. These surgeries are not limited to transsexual people.


Gender identity is often confused with sexual orientation. The latter, however, refers only to a person's " enduring emotional, romantic or sexual attraction to other people " and is not related to gender identity. A transgender woman, for example, may be attracted to women, men, both, or neither and this orientation has no bearing on her gender identity. She may identify as gay or lesbian, straight, bisexual, asexual , or may not name her orientation at all.


Transgender women are often incorrectly identified as "transvestites." A transvestite, however, is an individual who wears clothing primarily associated with the gender with whom they do not identify. For instance, a man may prefer to dress as a woman, but this does not make him transgender if he does not identify as a woman.


In previous decades and generations, "transvestite" was sometimes used as a self-identifier for trans people in general. Although language has since evolved, it is not unusual to come across media from earlier times that uses different terminology.


What do television host Ellen DeGeneres, actress Ruby Rose, and former World No. 1 tennis champion Martina Navratilova have in common in addition to being super successful women in a predominantly man’s world? All of them are lesbians and totally proud of their sexuality! In a world where members of the LGBTQ community are constantly harassed and ridiculed for their sexuality, it is not an easy task to carve a niche for oneself and build a successful life. It is even more difficult for women given the sexist attitudes prevalent in our society. Yet there are women who not only broke through the glass ceilings in male-dominant fields but also overcame the challenges of belonging to the sexual minority. With rising awareness about LGBTQ rights, life is getting relatively easier for lesbians yet we can’t ignore the struggles they go through! In the modern era, several LGBTQ rights activists have emerged on YouTube to spread awareness and offer support to the audience members belonging to such groups. Read on for more information about famous lesbians.

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