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Transgender Teens: What if a Girl were a Guy and a Guy were a Girl? Two Tulsa high-school sweethearts joke that they wish they could have switched genitalia.
Straight guys, would you date a transgender girl?
Comment deleted by user · 7 yr. ago
Comment deleted by user · 7 yr. ago
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If she was beautiful, feminine, nice and everything about her was perfect but she was just born in the wrong body. Would you date her and potentially marry her? And where would you think they should put that in their profile. Should they not and tell you in messages?
No, but I would be rooting for her.
I think you're asking a very big question to a very small group of people. Possibly, the majority of the responses would be 'no', but a TG woman doesn't need to appeal to the masses (nor does anyone), you're only looking for the right one person. So I'm not sure what the responses here will really tell you.
Absolutely understand! The one thing I really wanted to know is when and where to say it before dating someone.
The girl is just looking for hope that one of us is willing to put a ring on it.
My answer is both "Absolutely, yes" and "I don't know" at the same time.
I'm a straight guy, never been attracted to men. But women like Bailey Jay and Miriam Rivera get me incredibly turned on. I've never been with a transgender woman, but that's definitely something I'm open to experiencing.
The "I don't know" part comes in when it comes to "dating." I have no problem with openly dating a transgender woman. My concern is whether or not I would be with her to actually be with her , or if I was just satisfying a fetish and getting my rocks off. I find passing, feminine transgender women very attractive, and wouldn't want to just fetishize her and treat a woman like a prop in my sexual fantasy.
So I guess I'm a "straight" guy who would definitely hook up with a transgender woman. Dating and marriage would depend on if there was a connection beyond sex that a relationship could be built on.
I'd put it somewhere in your profile. Better to weed out the people who aren't interested early on. Or mention it early on in the messaging if you don't want it in your profile. By "early" I mean before you meet in person.
Thank you for the kind and genuine advice! :)
In terms of whether to include that you're trans in your profile or to let people know another way, go with whatever is comfortable with you. I can definitely understand not wanting to advertise to everyone that you're trans. I would, however, make sure you let prospective dates know before meeting.
As far as whether I would date a trans woman? It's something I've thought about. Gender's a funny thing. I do find myself attracted to people I know are trans women, and to female bodied people who are androgynous and/or queer. But I find myself not wanting to deal with the difficult conversations that are necessarily front loaded into that kind of relationship, so I don't usually message people who I can tell are trans.
Thanks! What are the first signs you notice that you can tell a person is trans for example? Just out of curiosity!
I'm a straight woman so I'm not your target market, but I have dated a trans guy I met on OKC and I liked the way he dealt with "the reveal." There was nothing about being trans in his profile, but after we exchanged a few messages and got to the point of setting up a date, he said something like, "By the way, before we meet up I want you to know I'm trans. It's not a big deal to me but I know it's a deal-breaker for a lot of people, and I'll understand if you're no longer interested in going out."
I think this is a good approach because it doesn't make your trans status public and it allows you to at least talk to people a bit before you decide to entrust them with personal information. And, if they react badly, they don't yet know enough personal details about you to out you or otherwise harass you. I think waiting until after the first date would also be okay. (No reason to tell them if there won't be a second date, and most first dates don't lead to second dates, in my experience.) If he'd waited until after our first date to tell me, I would have been surprised, but I would have understood why he was being cautious.
Yes, I would. I would want to have kids someday, but I could just as easily fall in love with a CIS woman who doesn't have the ability to bear children either, so adoption would always be an option. When it comes down to it, you love a person because of who they are, not what they are (at least that is how it SHOULD be), and if you had a great personality and we got along really well, then what would be the difference?
Not really 'straight straight' I suppose since I find my sexuality is a little broader than that -- but I would. In fact the girl I've crushed hardest on ever and with whom I had my first kiss with happened to be transgender and though we never got sexual I think it would have worked just fine.
She had it stated in her profile and I think I prefer it that way since then you don't have to make it into some kind or reveal and they can bring it into conversation if it's relevant to an anecdote without an introduction or plain ignore it if it doesn't.
That's amazing to hear! If you don't mind me asking, how old was she when she transitioned? Is there anything that she did that helped her get accepted by you?
I'd absolutely date a trans woman. There are some smoking hot trans women around here.
That said, marriage? I want kids that are mine and my partner's at some point. I won't marry someone who doesn't want or can't have kids. Trans or not doesn't figure into it.
It would be new to me, so I might be awkward at first. Which sucks, but I can't really help it. Otherwise, I think I opened up to the idea on day two of Tinder swiping in NYC. And as long as you don't live in the deep south, you should put it in your profile and save everyone some heartache.
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Ryan Wolowski cought up with R. Sky Palkowitz aka The Delusional Diva and John E. from New York who attended there first ever live Amanda Lepore performance. The show took place at Be Bar which is located 1318 9th St., NW Washington DC.
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Hijra (for translations, see [n 1]) is a term used in South Asia – particularly in India and Pakistan – to refer to trans women (male-to-female transgender individuals).[1][2] In different areas of Pakistan and India, transgender people are also known as Aravani, Aruvani or Jagappa.[3]
In Pakistan and Bangladesh, the hijras are officially recognized as third gender by the government,[4][5] being neither completely male nor female. In India also, transgender people have been given the status of third gender and are protected as per the law despite the social ostracism. The term more commonly advocated by social workers and transgender community members themselves is khwaja sira (Urdu: خواجہ سرا) and can identify the individual as a transsexual person, transgender person (khusras), cross-dresser (zenanas) or eunuch (narnbans).[6][7]
Hijras have a recorded history in the Indian subcontinent from antiquity onwards as suggested by the Kama Sutra period. This history features a number of well-known roles within subcontinental cultures, part gender-liminal, part spiritual and part survival.
In South Asia, many hijras live in well-defined and organised all-hijra communities, led by a guru.[8][9] These communities have sustained themselves over generations by "adopting" boys who are in abject poverty, rejected by, or flee, their family of origin.[10] Many work as sex workers for survival.[11]
The word "hijra" is an Urdu word derived from the Semitic Arabic root hjr in its sense of "leaving one's tribe,"[12] and has been borrowed into Hindi. The Indian usage has traditionally been translated into English as "eunuch" or "hermaphrodite," where "the irregularity of the male genitalia is central to the definition."[13] However, in general hijras are born with typically male physiology, only a few having been born with intersex variations.[14] Some Hijras undergo an initiation rite into the hijra community called nirwaan, which refers to the removal of the penis, scrotum and testicles.[11]
Since the late 20th century, some hijra activists and Western non-government organizations (NGOs) have lobbied for official recognition of the hijra as a kind of "third sex" or "third gender," as neither man nor woman.[15] Hijras have successfully gained this recognition in Bangladesh and are eligible for priority in education.[16] In India, the Supreme Court in April 2014 recognised hijra and transgender people as a 'third gender' in law.[17][18][19]
Nepal, Pakistan, India, and Bangladesh have all legally recognized the existence of a third gender, including on passports and other official documents.
The Urdu and Hindi word hijra may alternately be romanized as hijira, hijda, hijada, hijara, hijrah and is pronounced [ˈɦɪdʒɽaː]. This term is generally considered derogatory in Urdu and the word Khwaja Sara is used instead. Another such term is khasuaa (खसुआ) or khusaraa (खुसरा). In Bengali hijra is called হিজড়া, hijra, hijla, hijre, hizra, or hizre.
A number of terms across the culturally and linguistically diverse Indian subcontinent represent similar sex or gender categories. While these are rough synonyms, they may be better understood as separate identities due to regional cultural differences. In Odia, a hijra is referred to as hinjida, hinjda or napunsaka, in Telugu, as napunsakudu (నపుంసకుడు), kojja (కొజ్జ) or maada (మాడ), in Tamil Nadu, Thiru nangai (mister woman), Ali, aravanni, aravani, or aruvani, in Punjabi, khusra and jankha, in Sindhi khadra, in Gujarati, pavaiyaa (પાવૈયા).
In North India, the goddess Bahuchara Mata is worshipped by Pavaiyaa (પાવૈયા). In South India, the goddess Renuka is believed to have the power to change one's sex. Male devotees in female clothing are known as Jogappa. They perform similar roles to hijra, such as dancing and singing at birth ceremonies and weddings.[21]
The word kothi (or koti) is common across India, similar to the Kathoey of Thailand, although kothis are often distinguished from hijras. Kothis are regarded as feminine men or boys who take a feminine role in sex with men, but do not live in the kind of intentional communities that hijras usually live in. Additionally, not all kothis have undergone initiation rites or the body modification steps to become a hijra.[22] Local equivalents include durani (Kolkata), menaka (Cochin),[23] meti (Nepal), and zenana (Pakistan).
Hijra used to be translated in English as "eunuch" or "hermaphrodite,"[13] although LGBT historians or human rights activists have sought to include them as being transgender.[24] In a series of meetings convened between October 2013 and Jan 2014 by the transgender experts committee of India's Ministry of Social Justice and Empowerment, hijra and other trans activists asked that the term "eunuch" be discontinued from usage in government documents, as it is not a term with which the communities identify.
These identities have no exact match in the modern Western taxonomy of gender and sexual orientation,[24] and challenge Western ideas of sex and gender.[11]
In India, some Hijras do not define themselves by specific sexual orientation, but rather by renouncing sexuality altogether. Sexual energy is transformed into sacred powers. However, these notions can come in conflict with the practical, which is that hijras are often employed as prostitutes.[25] Furthermore, in India a feminine male who takes a "receptive" role in sex with a man will often identify as a kothi (or the local equivalent term). While kothis are usually distinguished from hijras as a separate gender identity, they often dress as women and act in a feminine manner in public spaces, even using feminine language to refer to themselves and each other. The usual partners of hijras and kothis are men who consider themselves heterosexual as they are the ones who penetrate.[26] These male partners are often married, and any relationships or sex with "kothis" or hijras are usually kept secret from the community at large. Some hijras may form relationships with men and even marry,[27] although their marriage is not usually recognized by law or religion. Hijras and kothis often have a name for these masculine sexual or romantic partners; for example, panthi in Bangladesh, giriya in Delhi or sridhar in Cochin.[23]
Social status and economic circumstances
Most hijras live at the margins of society with very low status; the very word "hijra" is sometimes used in a derogatory manner. The Indian lawyer and author Rajesh Talwar has written a book highlighting the human rights abuses suffered by the community titled 'The Third Sex and Human Rights.'[28] Few employment opportunities are available to hijras. Many get their income from extortion (forced payment by disrupting work/life using demonstrations and interference), performing at ceremonies (toli), begging (dheengna), or sex work ('raarha')—an occupation of eunuchs also recorded in premodern times. Violence against hijras, especially hijra sex workers, is often brutal, and occurs in public spaces, police stations, prisons, and their homes.[29] As with transgender people in most of the world, they face extreme discrimination in health, housing, education, employment, immigration, law, and any bureaucracy that is unable to place them into male or female gender categories.[30]
In 2008, HIV prevalence was 27.6% amongst hijra sex workers in Larkana.[6] The general prevalence of HIV among the adult Pakistani population is estimated at 0.1%.[31]
In October 2013, Pakistani Christians and Muslims (Shia and Sunni) put pressure on the landlords of Imamia Colony to evict any transgender residents. "Generally in Pakistan, Khwaja Sira are not under threat. But they are in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Province because of a 'new Islam' under way", I.A. Rehman, the director of the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan.[32]
In a study of Bangladeshi hijras, participants reported not being allowed to seek healthcare at the private chambers of doctors, and experiencing abuse if they go to government hospitals.[33]
Beginning in 2006, hijras were engaged to accompany Patna city revenue officials to collect unpaid taxes, receiving a 4-percent commission.[34]
Since India's Supreme Court re-criminalized homosexual sex on 13 December 2013, there has been a sharp increase in the physical, psychological and sexual violence against the transgender community by the Indian Police Service, nor are they investigating even when sexual assault against them is reported.[35]
On 15 April 2014, in National Legal Services Authority v. Union of India, the Supreme Court of India ruled that transgender people should be treated as a third category of gender or as a socially and economically "backward" class entitled to proportional access and representation in education and jobs.[36]
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The hijra community due to its peculiar place in sub-continental society which entailed marginalisation yet royal privileges developed a secret language known as Hijra Farsi. The language has a sentence structure loosely based on Urdu and a unique vocabulary of at least a thousand words. Beyond the Urdu-Hindi speaking areas of subcontinent the vocabulary is still used by the hijra community within their own native languages.
In 2013, transgender people in Pakistan were given their first opportunity to stand for election.[37] Sanam Fakir, a 32-year-old hijra, ran as an independent candidate for Sukkur, Pakistan's general election in May.[38]
The governments of both India (1994)[39] and Pakistan (2009)[40] have recognized hijras as a "third sex", thus granting them the basic civil rights of every citizen. In India, hijras now have the option to identify as a eunuch ("E") on passports and on certain government documents. They are not, however, fully accommodated; in order to vote, for example, citizens must identify as either male or female. There is also further discrimination from the government. In the 2009 general election, India's election committee denied three hijras candidature unless they identified themselves as either male or female.
In April 2014, Justice KS Radhakrishnan declared transgender to be the third gender in Indian law, in a case brought by the National Legal Services Authority (Nalsa) against Union of India and others.[17][18][19] The ruling said:[41]
Seldom, our society realises or cares to realise the trauma, agony and pain which the members of Transgender community undergo, nor appreciates the innate feelings of the members of the Transgender community, especially of those whose mind and body disown their biological sex. Our society often ridicules and abuses the Transgender community and in public places like railway stations, bus stands, schools, workplaces, malls, theatres, hospitals, they are sidelined and treated as untouchables, forgetting the fact that the moral failure lies in the society's unwillingness to contain or embrace different gender identities and expressions, a mindset which we have to change.
Justice Radhakrishnan said that transgender people should be treated consistently with other minorities under the law, enabling them to access jobs, healthcare and education.[42] He framed the issue as one of human rights, saying that, "These TGs, even though insignificant in numbers, are still human beings and therefore they have every right to enjoy their human rights", concluding by declaring that:[41]
Hijras, Eunuchs, apart from binary gender, be treated as "third gender" for the purpose of safeguarding their rights under Part III of our Constitution and the laws made by the Parliament and the State Legislature.
Transgender persons' right to decide their self-identified gender is also upheld and the Centre and State Governments are directed to grant legal recognition of their gender identity such as male, female or as third gender.
A bill supported by all political parties was tabled in Indian parliament to ensure transgender people get benefits akin reserved
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