Tranny Golden Shower
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Tranny Golden Shower
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Established in Toronto 2007
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My boyfriend and I are driving back from a weekend at home with my parents when he asks me the golden question, and although urinating on someone hasn’t ever been locked away in my secret fantasies vault, I approach the topic with the same philosophy I usually do when confronted with new sexual experiences: Why not?
“Sure I could pee on you, honey,” I reply. “Do you want to pee on me?”
“Yeah, I’d like to see what it’s like .”
So we’re going to pee on each other, that much is settled, and after a little more conversation the additional details are worked out. We’ll do it in the shower as soon as we get home and faces/mouths/etc. are absolutely off-limits. Besides being a little antsy because I already have to go potty badly and Toronto is still half an hour off, I’m satisfied with the plan. When we turn into our driveway I’m excited salvation is near and apparently, so is my boyfriend.
“Guess what?” he asks me excitedly.
“What?”
“I have an erection.”
“From thinking about the peeing thing?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s exciting.”
“It is, but it could be a problem. I don’t know if I can pee with an erection.”
“Well then I better go first. Maybe then you’ll lose your erection.”
“Or maybe it will get bigger.”
“Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” I tell him wisely as I hop out of the car, grab my bags from the trunk and hightail it inside. As soon as the bathroom is in sight the urge to relieve my bladder gets all the more violent and I start whipping off clothes like they’re on fire.
“Wait – wait!” my boyfriend protests, running in behind me as I hop out of my pants, “You look sexy! Can you get undressed slower, so I can enjoy it?”
“Only if you want me to pee on the floor and not on your face!” I yell as I skittle into the bathroom and turn on the shower. “Now get in here STAT!”
He tears off his clothes without protest and leaps into the shower. “EYYYOW IT’S TOO HOT!”
I feel the temperature. “No it’s not.” I rebuke.
“It is! It’s ridiculously hot. THIS is why you’re always complaining about having chapped skin.”
“Really? But I moisturize after showers…”
“Yeah with that horrible lotion from, like, the dollar store.”
“Hey, that stuff is classy! It’s from Shoppers Drug Mart!”
“Fine, whatever, never mind, JUST GET IN HERE AND PISS ON ME!”
He lies down on the shower floor and I step in and position myself above him. I don’t even ask if he’s ready before I let er’ rip! I produce a steady stream of pee that continues for at least ten seconds (I really had to go), and also consists of no less then two farts that accidentally eek out. Oops.
“Sorry about the farts,” I tell my boyfriend. “They just kinda came out.”
“That’s okay.”
“So – did you like it?”
“Yeah, I kinda did. It was – it was – such a thick stream.” He tells me observantly.
“Umm, well thank you,” I reply, “I drink a lot of water.”
Now it’s his turn to do business on me so we carefully switch positions. Miraculously he’s able to squeeze the pee out, despite his slight erection (and we both give out a little whoop to celebrate). But truth be told, as soon as the warm stream hits my belly I know this isn’t for me. Trying to suck it up anyway (after all, I FARTED on him), I make an expression on my face that I hope looks like a seductive smile. But as usual he catches my fake and asks me what’s wrong.
“I don’t like it.” I say, standing up abruptly mid-stream. He’s now peeing on my leg.
“No? How come?”
“Just not my cup of tea. And it smells funny.” I add.
“Oh, well that’s okay. I guess if we want to do it again you could just pee on me from now on.”
“That sounds like a good plan.”
He’s finally done his business. “ Want to have sex now? ” He asks.
We try to have sex, but either we’re too big or our shower is too small (I prefer to blame the shower) so we can’t get into any good positions . We simply proceed to fight over the soap and shampoo while trying not to elbow one another in the face. Ah, amour.
Lesson learned: Golden showers can be nice, but they’re not for everyone. If you’re the least bit curious DO try this at home and report back. Special note: I recommend trying both the pee-ee and the pee-er position to identify which you like best.
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How is this story even true? Yet Chelsea Handler confirmed its authenticity when she appeared on Conan O’Brien’s show on Wednesday.
Somehow, the comedian wound up as the target of Jason Biggs ’ stream of urine.
O’Brien asked Handler, “There’s this horrifying video on the web. Jason Biggs is standing on what appears to be a dock, and there’s no other way to say it…. He’s urinating on you . I had to bring it up because I think we need an explanation.”
Jenny Mollen even posted the incriminating moment on her Vine account. Fans can see the Bigg’s back while a stream is hitting Handler in the face. Ew.
The talk-show host had a quick comeback to O’Brien’s question. She quipped, “The tone in your voice indicates that I was privy to this… I did not want to be urinated on… It did happen, and I’m still here. He’s got problems, OK?”
She explained how it all went down. “I got off the boat, and there’s a little below-deck… So I jumped off of it and the tide was very strong so I was holding onto it because we were getting in another boat to go to the beach. Jason’s penis was there and he was urinating on my face.”
Handler reacted better than most people would and had a good sense of humor about the entire incident. She said, “Listen, I can take one for the team. If somebody needs to get urinated on, I am happy to do that. I don’t care about urine. Who gives a shit? Sorry, who cares? I was in the ocean! Do you know how many things are living in the ocean? It’s like a human toilet.”
It may be a human toilet, but Handler was pretty happy to be Biggs’ human toilet. Gross.
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She Media
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Fairchild Media
Footwear News
Gold Derby
IndieWire
Robb Report
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She Media
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Sportico
Spy
StyleCaster
The Hollywood Reporter
TVLine
Variety
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WWD
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More stories to check out before you go
How is this story even true? Yet Chelsea Handler confirmed its authenticity when she appeared on Conan O’Brien’s show on Wednesday.
Somehow, the comedian wound up as the target of Jason Biggs ’ stream of urine.
O’Brien asked Handler, “There’s this horrifying video on the web. Jason Biggs is standing on what appears to be a dock, and there’s no other way to say it…. He’s urinating on you . I had to bring it up because I think we need an explanation.”
Jenny Mollen even posted the incriminating moment on her Vine account. Fans can see the Bigg’s back while a stream is hitting Handler in the face. Ew.
The talk-show host had a quick comeback to O’Brien’s question. She quipped, “The tone in your voice indicates that I was privy to this… I did not want to be urinated on… It did happen, and I’m still here. He’s got problems, OK?”
She explained how it all went down. “I got off the boat, and there’s a little below-deck… So I jumped off of it and the tide was very strong so I was holding onto it because we were getting in another boat to go to the beach. Jason’s penis was there and he was urinating on my face.”
Handler reacted better than most people would and had a good sense of humor about the entire incident. She said, “Listen, I can take one for the team. If somebody needs to get urinated on, I am happy to do that. I don’t care about urine. Who gives a shit? Sorry, who cares? I was in the ocean! Do you know how many things are living in the ocean? It’s like a human toilet.”
It may be a human toilet, but Handler was pretty happy to be Biggs’ human toilet. Gross.
The stories you care about, delivered daily.
SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. © 2022 SheMedia, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
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