Tranny Blows Straight Guy
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Tranny Blows Straight Guy
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by Dan Savage on January 9th, 2013 at 12:01 AM
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I’m a straight male, 21 years old. I love women, I’ve always loved women, I’ve always loved having sex with women. However, in the last year, here and there, I’ve jerked off to transsexual porn. One night, after drinking with a friend and smoking some hash, I arranged a date with a trans sex worker. She was totally womanly, nothing manly about her, except for, you know. She licked my butt, gave me head, and fingered me. I’ve been on the receiving end of anal play before from girls, so nothing new. But somewhere during this encounter, I became the receiving partner during anal sex. At the time, I was too fucked up to care. But the next day, I started to feel really bad. She was very safe and used condoms for everything. I just can’t get past the fact that I did the gayest thing a guy can do. I feel really depressed about this traumatic situation. I can’t seem to enjoy my life anymore. I’ve even felt somewhat suicidal. (I would never kill myself—I wouldn’t do that to my family and friends.) I still want to date women and have sex with women. I don’t regret being with a trans woman because I wanted to experiment. I’ve been tested since the encounter to make sure I didn’t catch anything. What I regret is her sticking her thing in my butt. Can a single act like this make me gay? Please help.
Yes, yes: you did the gayest thing a guy can do—you allowed someone to put a dick in your man butt—but now you’re doing the second-gayest thing a guy can do. You’re being a huge drama queen about the whole thing. Stop acting so cray, as the kids say, and repeat after me: one dick in the ass does not a gay man make. Look at it this way: the difference between having a woman’s finger in your ass and having a woman’s dick in your ass is a matter of degree. If the woman’s finger was fine—to say nothing of the woman’s tongue—why freak out about the woman’s dick? Remember: you don’t sleep with men; you’re not attracted to men. You made an exception for this woman’s dick because her dick is exceptional: it’s attached to a woman.
So maybe you took a longer walk on the wild side than you might have if you’d gone on that walk sober, WSOWS, but, thankfully, your sex worker was conscientious and responsible and used condoms. So you didn’t emerge from this encounter with anything more devastating than a touch of gay panic. Be a man about this—be a straight man about this—and walk it off, as the football coaches say.
Maybe this will help: like a lot of gay men, I had sex with a woman before I came out. I did the straightest thing a guy can do—I put my dick in a vag—and it didn’t make me straight. You did the gayest thing a guy can do—you let someone put a dick in your ass—but that didn’t make you gay. Because you’re not gay, WSOWS, and one ride on a trans escort’s dick can’t change that.
If nothing I’ve said has made you feel better, WSOWS, maybe this will: gay men don’t hire trans women sex workers. Wanting to be with a woman who has a dick is an almost exclusively straight-male kink/obsession/wild side. Gay men are into dick, of course, but what we’re really into is dudes. There are gay men out there who date and fuck and shack up with trans men—men with pussies—so not all gay men are after dick. What we’re all after is dude.
If our gayness can’t be defined solely by dick, WSOWS, then surely your straightness can’t be undone entirely by dick.
I’m a married straight man. I recently spent a lovely day snorkelling with my wife in Mexico. We were grouped with three men who were obviously in a committed three-person relationship. I lacked the cojones to ask directly, but they had an extensive travel history together and lived together, everything was “we” this or that, and there were various PDA pairings during the day. They were lovely people. I wish we all lived in the same city, as it’s hard to meet cool people who aren’t exactly like you when you’re married with kids. Several questions: 1) What do gay people call such a union? 2) Does the gay community think it’s odd? Unremarkable? Sensible? 3) How does a union like that form? A couple adds a third? 4) Do these relationships last? Lots of pros and cons, just curious how it plays out.
> Three-way Relationship Intrigues Oblivious Straights
1. Such unions are referred to as “throuples” by gays and straights. For a picture of the inner workings of a gay throuple, TRIOS, check out Molly Young’s profile of one in New York magazine’s most recent “Sex Issue”. Benny, Jason, and Adrian are the men behind the popular “gipster” porn site CockyBoys.com , and you can read Young’s piece about their home, work, and sex lives.
2. Some gay people think throuples are odd, some think they’re unremarkable, and some think they’re sensible. And some gay people—some dumb ones—think gay throuples are bad PR at a time when gay couples are fighting for the right to marry. But our fight is for equal rights, not double standards, and no one argues that straight marriage should be banned because of all the straight throuples, quadles, quintles, sextetles, et cetera, out there.
3. In my experience, yes, that’s usually how it happens.
4. Throupledom presents unique challenges: major life decisions require buy-in from three people; two can gang up against one during arguments; the partners who were coupled before the third came along may treat the third as a junior partner, not an equal partner, et cetera. But throupledom presents unique benefits, too: another set of hands to help around the house, another income to pay down the mortgage, another smiling face to sit on, et cetera. And it’s not like coupledom is a sure-fire recipe for success. Half of all marriages—those traditional “one man, one woman, for life” marriages—end in divorce. Yet discussions of throupledom all seem to begin with the assumption that coupledom is a self-evidently more stable arrangement. Maybe it is; maybe it isn’t. I’d like to see some research comparing throuples to couples before I accept that premise.
I recently used the term “saddlebacking” to indicate the position where a man rubs his penis between his partner’s ass cheeks as either foreplay or nonintercourse sex. My girlfriend, a regular reader of your column, insists that I used the term incorrectly. Did I?
You did, RTWW. “Saddlebacking”, as defined by Savage Love readers (the Académie française of sexual neologisms), is when two straight teenagers, endeavouring to preserve an evangelical girl’s virginity, engage in anal intercourse. This is a thing that really happens. Since anal sex isn’t really sex, according to the abstinence educators evangelical teens are exposed to, many good Christian teenagers rationalize that getting fucked in the ass doesn’t really count against a girl’s virginity.
The act to which you refer—rubbing your penis between someone’s ass cheeks as foreplay or as a substitute for intercourse—is known variously as frottage, outercourse, the Princeton Rub, or “the pearl tramp stamp”. But in Chicago, it’s known as “the Cardinal George”.
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If I did this with that same or opposite sex person/listened to that band/read that book/had that fantasy/watched that tv show/ate that food or had that drink/went to that club/dressed in those clothes/watched that kind of porn/did that particular sex act and liked it, does that make me _____ (gay/straight/bi/pan/other/none of the above)? If it was just about what we did, we'd all be some or all of these at any given time of the day/month/season/semester/year/decade.
In fact is not necessarily be that have so, but the question is whether it was really fun that act either finger or cock'? I convinced that there is no fun in the universe need soul only and returns to it and comply and obey an unprecedented seen before, because it found what you're looking for does not want to to stay away away from that feeling in sexual passion for interesting Soft-core Like that ... I started since young age fondling and sucking of cocks until originated this habit that I have now dramatically, and I can not I die this insatiable sexual exciting ever...so does it's mean that i am gayness?
NO!!!! , if a gay (lets say the stereotypical one) has sex with a woman, does he become straight???? no...
just stop being fucked even if that made u enjoy, otherwise u could be considered as bisexual, well being fucked by a girl or a ts isn't really that gay,
YOU BORN GAY OR YOU BORN STRAIGHT, u cant change it (at least someone makes you a new genetically modification that probably doesn't exist)
yea, fuck all the gays, u wont become gay! OK?
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Home » Can a straight guy ethically accept oral sex from his gay buddy?
And can another straight guy ethically refuse to give a blow job during a threesome?
by
Dan Savage
June 20, 2018 August 18, 2021
Chicago’s alternative nonprofit newsroom
Q: I am a 24-year-old straight guy who recently broke up with my girlfriend of more than four years. One of the reasons we broke up was a general lack of sexual compatibility. She had a particular aversion to oral sex—both giving and receiving. I didn’t get a blow job the whole time we were together. Which brings me to why I am writing: One of my closest friends, “Sam,” is a gay guy. Shortly after breaking up with my girlfriend, I was discussing my lack of oral sex with him and he said he’d be willing to “help me out.” I agreed, and Sam gave me an earth-shattering blow job. I was glad to get some and had no hang-ups about a guy sucking me. Since then, Sam has blown me three more times. My problem is I am starting to feel guilty and worry I am using Sam. He’s a very good buddy, and I’m concerned this lopsided sexual arrangement might be bad for our friendship. Sam knows I am not into guys and I’m never going to reciprocate, and I feel like this is probably not really fair to him. But these are literally the only blow jobs I’ve received since I was a teenager. What should I do? —Totally Have Reservations Over Advantage Taking
A: Only one person knows how Sam feels about this “lopsided sexual arrangement,” THROAT, and it isn’t me—it’s Sam.
Zooming out for a second: People constantly ask me how the person they’re fucking or fisting or flogging feels about all the fucking or fisting or flogging they’re doing. Guys ask me why a woman ghosted them, and women ask me if their boyfriend is secretly gay. And while I’m perfectly happy to speculate, I’m not a mind reader. Which means I have no way of knowing for sure why that woman ghosted you or if your boyfriend is gay—or in your case, THROAT, how Sam feels about the four unreciprocated blow jobs he’s given you.
And that’s why I wrote you back, THROAT, asked you for Sam’s contact information, and offered to ask Sam on your behalf. I wasn’t serious—it was my way of saying, “You should really ask Sam.” But you sent me Sam’s contact info, and a few minutes later I was chatting with him.
“Yes, I have been sucking my straight friend’s cock,” Sam said to me. “And I am flattered he told you I was good at it. That’s an ego booster!”
My first question for Sam: Is he one of those gay guys who get off on “servicing” straight guys?
“I’ve never done anything with a straight guy before this,” said Sam. “So, no, I’m not someone who is ‘into servicing straight guys.’ I have only ever dated and hooked up with gay guys before!”
“I didn’t know until after he broke up with his girlfriend that he hadn’t gotten a blow job the whole time they were together—four years!” Sam said. “When I told him I’d be happy to help him out, I was joking. I swear I wasn’t making a pass at my straight friend! But there was this long pause, and then he got serious and said he’d be into it. I wondered for a minute if it would be weird for me to blow my friend, and there was definitely a bit of convincing each other that we were serious. When he started taking his clothes off, I thought, ‘So this is going to happen.’ It was not awkward after. We even started joking about it right away.”
So does this lopsided sexual arrangement—blowing a straight boy who’s never going to blow him—bother Sam?
“I suppose it is a ‘lopsided sexual arrangement,'” said Sam. “But I don’t mind. I really like sucking dick and I’m really enjoying sucking his dick. He has a really nice dick! And from my perspective, we’re both having fun. And, yes, I’ve jacked off thinking about it after each time I sucked him. I know—now—that he thinks it is a bit unfair to me. But I don’t feel that way at all.”
So there is something in it for Sam. You get the blow jobs, THROAT, and Sam gets the spank-bankable memories. And Sam assumes that at some point, memories are all he’ll have.
“[I expect that] he’ll eventually get into a relationship with a woman again and our arrangement will end,” said Sam. “I only hope nothing is weird between us in the future because of what has happened in the past few weeks.”
I had one last question: Sam is really good at sucking cock—he gives “earth-shattering” blow jobs—but is THROAT any good at getting his cock sucked? As all experienced cocksuckers know, a person can suck at getting his cock sucked: he can just lay/stand/sit there, giving you no feedback, or be too pushy or not pushy enough, etc.
“That’s a really good question,” Sam said. “I have to say, he is very good at it. He really gets into it, he moans, he talks about how good it feels, and he lasts a long time. That’s part of what makes sucking his cock so much fun.”
Q: I’m a straight guy in a LTR with a bi woman. We recently had a threesome with a bi male acquaintance. We made it clear that I’m not into guys and that she was going to be the center of attention. He said he was fine with this. A little bit into us hooking up, he said he wanted to suck my dick. I wasn’t sure about it at first, but my girlfriend encouraged it because she thought it was hot. I ended up saying yes, but I stated that I didn’t want to reciprocate. A bit later, while my girlfriend was sucking his dick, he said he wanted me to join her. I said no, he kept badgering me to do it, I kept saying no, and then he physically tried to shove my head down toward his crotch. My girlfriend and I both got pissed and said he had to leave. Now he’s bitching to our mutual friends about how I had an insecure straight-boy freak-out, he didn’t get to come after we both got ours, we’re shitty selfish fetishists, and so on. I’m concerned about what our friends think of me, but even more so, I’m concerned that I did a shitty thing. I get that maybe he was hoping I’d change my mind, especially after I changed my mind about him sucking my dick. But I don’t think it’s fair for him to be angry that I didn’t blow him. Is oral reciprocation so necessary that it doesn’t matter that we agreed in advance that I wouldn’t have to? —Not One to Be Inconsiderate
A: You did nothing wrong. And if after hearing your side of the story, NOTBI, your mutual friends side with a person who pressured you to do something you were clear about not wanting to do and then, after you restated your opposition to performing said act, pressured you to perform the act—by physically forcing your head down to his cock—you can solve the “mutual friends” problem by cutting these so-called friends out of your life. v
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Japanese Girls For Single Men (& Women I guess). Love Dolls.
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6 Things Every Man Who Dates Trans Women Needs to Know
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“I cannot promise to love you fearlessly / But I can love you courageously” – d’bi young anitafrika, “Rivers of Love”
This is a love letter to each and every one of you.
This is a letter to let you know that I still think about everything we did and will do together, everything we’ve talked about, every fight we had, and every tender moment we’re going to share.
This is a letter to P, who was always gentle. It’s a letter to M, so curious and kind, if occasionally thoughtless. To S – with whom the sex was freaking unbelievable. To J, always punning and making me laugh; and to E, who is always truthful.
This is a letter to all the men, both cisgender and transgender, who have ever loved me, and to all the men I will ever love.
I want you to know that you change my life and give me strength – even when things between us were/are hard. I want you to know that I see you, I appreciate you, even when I am challenging you to treat women like me – trans women and women of color – better than men in this society are taught to.
I know that being a man who is dating a trans woman (who is outspoken and only sometimes passes) is not always an easy thing. Let’s also take as a given the fact that being a trans woman who is outspoken and only someti
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