Touch So Much Pain Sex

Touch So Much Pain Sex
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Kingsberg S, et al. Approach to the woman with sexual pain. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed Oct. 29, 2019.
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Painful intercourse can occur for reasons that range from structural problems to psychological concerns. Many women have painful intercourse at some point in their lives.
The medical term for painful intercourse is dyspareunia (dis-puh-ROO-nee-uh), defined as persistent or recurrent genital pain that occurs just before, during or after sex. Talk to your doctor if you're having painful intercourse. Treatments focus on the cause, and can help eliminate or lessen this common problem.
If you have painful intercourse, you might feel:
If you have recurrent pain during sex, talk to your health care provider. Treating the problem can help your sex life, your emotional intimacy and your self-image.
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Physical causes of painful intercourse differ, depending on whether the pain occurs at entry or with deep thrusting. Emotional factors might be associated with many types of painful intercourse.
Pain during penetration might be associated with a range of factors, including:
Not enough lubrication. This is often the result of not enough foreplay. A drop in estrogen levels after menopause or childbirth or during breast-feeding also can be a cause.
Certain medications are known to affect sexual desire or arousal, which can decrease lubrication and make sex painful. These include antidepressants, high blood pressure medications, sedatives, antihistamines and certain birth control pills.
Deep pain usually occurs with deep penetration. It might be worse in certain positions. Causes include:
Emotions are deeply intertwined with sexual activity, so they might play a role in sexual pain. Emotional factors include:
It can be difficult to tell whether emotional factors are associated with dyspareunia. Initial pain can lead to fear of recurring pain, making it difficult to relax, which can lead to more pain. You might start avoiding sex if you associate it with the pain.
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by Keely Savoie Updated: May 26, 2022
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Painful sex is common, but that doesn’t mean you should have to put up with it.
Sex should always feel good—and when it’s painful, your body could be trying to tell you that something is seriously wrong.
If you felt a sharp pinch, pressure, tightness, soreness, or cramping during your last romp, you’re not entirely alone: About 30% of women report feeling pain during vaginal intercourse, according to a 2015 study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine . That number skyrockets to 72% during anal sex . “If you’ve been aroused and rarin’ to go only to find that attempting intercourse results in burning, knife-life, searing, and/or pinching pain, then you’ve experienced dyspareunia, the medical word for painful intercourse,” explains Lauren Streicher, M.D., the medical director of the Northwestern Center for Menopause and the Northwestern Center for Sexual Health . There are two kinds of dyspareunia, she says:
Pain can cause issues outside of the bedroom, too. “Pain during sex not only ruins the moment, it can have much greater consequences: fear of sex, lowered sex drive, and overall loss of intimacy,” says Debra Herbenick, Ph.D ., a professor, director, and researcher at Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion.
Just because pain is common doesn’t mean you should have to put up with it. You might feel awkward speaking up, but you’re doing yourself a disservice if you dismiss it. “Too many women continue to have sex to please their partners despite the severe pain,” Dr. Streicher says.
“Women need to know that pain is real, no matter what its ultimate cause,” says sexual health expert Dennis Fortenberry, M.D ., professor of pediatrics at Indiana University’s School of Medicine.
There are plenty of things that could be messing with your time in between the sheets. Talk to your gynecologist, says Dr. Streicher: “They may be able to figure out the cause, but many women need to see a specialist. Your gynecologist may not be thinking about things like irritable bowel syndrome, while a gastroenterologist may not be thinking about endometriosis. It may be worth finding a gynecologist who deals specifically with sexual pain.”
Here are 10 possible reasons you feel pain during sex, so that you can find relief. “The bottom line is that no one should have pain with intercourse,” says Dr. Streicher.
Women are slower to get aroused than men, and there’s a grain of truth in the stereotype that women need more foreplay —but figuring out what works for you is half the battle.
“Foreplay needs to be exciting to you,” says Herbenick. That might mean kissing and rolling around with our partner, giving or receiving oral sex, or even watching porn together. Everyone is different, and what gets you going won’t always work for someone else.
Understanding what feels good is key to starting the natural process of blood flow to your genitals, which increases lubrication (an absolute must for pain-free sex). Herbenick points out that some women don’t actually know when they’re aroused, which can be a major hurdle. In this case, staying focused on the moment can be helpful. “Notice how it feels to touch your partner and be touched,” she advises.
You can be ready to go, but if you’re not sufficiently slippery, penetration is going to be painful. Plus, your vagina doesn’t get lubricated until 5 to 7 minutes after your brain is already in the game.
Other factors, like taking certain medications, can also lead to vaginal dryness . “Allergy pills [like antihastimines] have the same effect on vaginal tissues as they do on other mucus membranes, and low-dose hormonal birth control pills can also dry you out,” Herbenick says. Other medications that can affect your ability to lubricate naturally include antidepressants, blood pressure meds, and sedatives.
The fix? Be sure you have a personal lubricant ready for action. Even if you don’t need it most of the time, having it on standby means you won’t need to go searching for it in the middle of things (which is sure to ruin the moment).
You have a million things to do in a day, and you take that tension to bed with you. “Relaxation is an important part of feeling ready for and interested in sex,” explains Herbenick.
The best thing you can do is de-stress before you get busy. Herbenick suggests that couples give each other massages. If rub-downs aren’t your thing, there are other ways to help your mind—and thus your body—prepare for sex. “Try a yoga class—a lot of people also find meditation or mindfulness useful,” she says.
For a small number of people, “genital fit” can be a cause of pain during intercourse—meaning your partner’s quite large, and you’re extra petite.
Lube can help in some cases, but “in situations where the penis is hitting the cervix, or causing an uncomfortable level of stretch, it can help to change sex positions,” says Herbenick. “A lot of times women don’t feel confident saying, ‘slow down’ or ‘be more gentle.’” Try switching things up with positions like woman-on-top, since it gives you more control over the speed and depth of thrusting.
A number of genital infections—most commonly, genital herpes , trichomoniasis, and yeast infections —can make intercourse painful. Even women who don’t experience any symptoms or are unaware of their infections can have small changes in their vulva or vagina that can contribute to pain.
The good news is, most genital infections are easily controlled or curable, and the tests are simple. If you’re experiencing pain, the most important thing is to communicate with your doctor and get tested appropriately, advises Dr. Fortenberry.
This condition, where the tissue that lines the uterus starts growing in other areas, affects an estimated 200 million worldwide, according to the Endometriosis Foundation of America . “It can lead to pain with intercourse and vaginal penetration, and can be really intolerable,” says Dr. Fortenberry.
Unfortunately, endometriosis may require laparoscopic surgery, but identifying the source of pain is a big part of the battle. If you have painful periods, pain during sex, or have female relatives who have experienced similar symptoms—you should ask your doctor for an ultrasound screening.
True, very few people like to contemplate sex and poop in the same thought, but IBS is another common but sneaky possible cause of pain. Dr. Fortenberry suggests that if you have the most common signs of irritable bowel syndrome—periods of intestinal cramping, and cyclic constipation, or diarrhea—in addition to painful sex, the two might be linked.
Talk to your primary care physician about how you can manage your IBS—there are many ways to reduce symptoms, including changing your diet , medication, stress reduction, and behavioral therapy. “No one knows why, but it appears that when IBS is treated, vaginal pain during intercourse gets better as well,” says Dr. Fortenberry.
Changes in the vagina during menopause involve more than just lubrication, especially after menopause is completed. “Parts of the vagina and vulva may become additionally sensitive,” says Dr. Forteberry, which can explain why something that used to feel good can now just plain hurt.
“There are many ways to mitigate the unwanted symptoms of menopause,” says Dr. Fortenberry. “Start by having a conversation with your primary care provider or your gynecologist about the possible causes and treatments that may help.”
About 30 percent of the population has some form of eczema , an umbrella term for several skin diseases. In some cases, eczema can strike down there, leaving your vulva itchy, red, and inflamed—and intercourse painful as a result. The good news is, vulvar eczema is highly treatable. Often, it’s as simple as switching out your soap or laundry detergent or wearing loose-fitting clothing. Your doctor may recommend a corticosteroid cream or an antihistamine while your skin heals up.
Vaginismus is a rare condition characterized by spasms and contractions of the vagina during intercourse (it can also happen when you try inserting a tampon or getting a pap test at the gynecologist’s office). It’s thought to be a psychological condition stemming from things like a fear of sex, past abuse or trauma, or anxiety. If you experience pain during sex or even while trying to insert a tampon, talk to your doctor ASAP to ensure an accurate diagnosis.
Keely's writing on science and health has appeared in numerous publications and anthologies. In addition to being a writer, scientist, health fanatic and mom, she is a world traveler and tireless seeker of knowledge. After years of pushing, Keely finally passed 40, renewing her interest in improved health and longevity through nutrition and exercise.
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When sex hurts, women often feel alone—but they’re not. About 30 percent of women report pain during vaginal intercourse, according to a 2015 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine which surveyed a subsample of 1,738 women and men ages 18 and older online.
Awareness of painful vaginal sex—sometimes lumped under the term Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD)—has grown as more women talk about their experiences and more medical professionals start to listen.
Many conditions are associated with FSD, including vulvodynia (chronic vulva pain), vestibulodynia (chronic pain around the opening of the vagina), and vaginismus (cramping and tightness around the opening of the vagina). But they all have one thing in common: vaginal or vulval pain that can make penetrative sex anywhere from mildly uncomfortable to physically impossible. However, you can absolutely still have sex, which we'll get to in a minute.
There's no reason to suffer in silence, even if it seems awkward or embarrassing or scary. Your gynecologist has heard it all and can help (or they can refer you to someone who can). The International Pelvic Pain Society has great resources for finding a licensed health care provider who specializes in genital pain.
“We don’t yet know why women get vestibulodynia or vulvodynia,” Kayna Cassard, M.A., M.F.T., a psychotherapist who specializes in vaginismus and other pelvic pain issues, tells SELF. “[There can be] many traumas, physical and psychological, that become internalized and add to vaginal pain. Women’s pain isn’t just 'in their heads,' " Cassard says.
This kind of pain can affect anyone—regardless of sexual orientation or relationship status—but it can be
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