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You Have To See These Japanese Game Shows To Believe Them. But Even Then You Won't.
Jan 10, 2014, 11:59 AM EST | Updated Dec 6, 2017
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Associate Editor, Viral Content, The Huffington Post
To the West, the world of Japanese game shows is best known as a technicolored whirlwind of half-naked bodies, sadomasochistic physical challenges, and the occasional whimsical bunny rabbit head. In short, any reasonable person would assume they couldn't be real. The stereotype today is a bit of a misnomer -- this brand of scandalizing, borderline-torturous television is being phased out after reaching its apex in the '90s. That said, it's far from completely dead. Every so often a Japanese show like last year's "Orgasm Wars" surfaces to remind the world that, when it comes to baffling, jaw-dropping game shows, Japan truly has no rival (don't worry, the U.S. still has a lock on terrible reality TV).
Below, we offer you some highlights:
In this deliciously hilarious and straightforwardly titled game, celebrity contestants must guess which of several apparently inanimate objects are candy, and which are not candy. They must then take a big, ravenous bite of the objects they believe to be candy, thus ending up with a yummy hunk of sugary goodness or a humiliating mouthful of whatever random item that actually is. The candy is made from Japanese "sokkuri sweets" that can be molded into crazy-intricate shapes. Below, is he biting into any old picture frame, or one delectable piece of chocolate?
Oh. Just a picture frame. Try again! Shoe or chocolate?
In "Orgasm Wars," gay men attempt to bring straight men to orgasm, and prove that ... well, we're not really sure what they want to prove. But the narrators sure make it sound like the ultimate sexuality showdown. Below, the straight contestant, who is also a porn star, swears that he will er, come out on top . (Sorry.)
So, after some introductions and trash talk, the challenge commences, each man trying to humiliate the other -- an apparent trend in Japanese game shows :
Will one man's staunch heterosexuality be impeached by another man's sexual prowess? You'll have to find out for yourselves, cause we stopped watching. Sexuality's a spectrum, dudes.
In this charming bit of highbrow entertainment, a lube-soaked middle-aged man attempts to slide across a slippery row of young, bikini-clad women.
That's one way to turn your midlife crisis into split-second, small-screen fame.
This competition appeared on Japanese variety show "Downtown no Gaki no Tsukai ya Arahende!!" which has brought you pain, humiliation and vaguely cruel hilarity since October 3, 1989. Players are supposed to catch the marshmallows with their mouths, while their heads are attached to a rubber band. If this isn't sickeningly funny for you to watch, you probably won't like many other Japanese game shows.
Ah, yes. The classic trivia game, with a "loser gets a face full of winner's butt" twist. The competition also appeared on Japanese variety show " Downtown no Gaki no Tsukai ya Arahende!! ."
It sounds like exactly what it is: The perfect consolation prize for anybody who's pissed they didn't qualify for luging in the Winter Olympics . Contestants are launched at enormous bowling pins and pushed down this sloped lane. The finale of U.S. reality show " The Amazing Race 23" spotlighted the sport , cause, of course.
"Human Tetris" is the Western nickname for the game, which appeared on Japanese game show "Tonneruzu no Minasan no Okage deshita." As you may have guessed, it's basically the human version of your favorite GameBoy time waster. Contestants must jump and maneuver their bodies through the moving gaps in the wall. Unfortunately, they are not human-friendly shaped gaps, so this game appears to be a lost cause.
That said, it's still pretty entertaining to watch. It even made its way to the U.S. , where for some reason, it didn't last.
Hey, I wonder what happens when you strap binoculars to people's heads and make them play soccer?
In "DERO! DERO!", contestants must solve difficult puzzles while in extremely high-pressure situations. Below, an innocent -looking average floor turns into quickly retracting planks, revealing a bottomless pit. You know, the usual heart-pumping competition stuff.
Hey, if you're the weakest link.....
How many coins can your cleavage hold is the name of the game in this fabulous mix of capitalism and objectification of women.
How many coins does it take to buy back one's dignity?
Here, men attempt to knock down blocks, behind which stands a naked woman. Meanwhile, they are attached to ropes, which other men use to pull them into a nice, warm bathtub of tar.
Another favorite genre of Japanese game shows involves fantastically creative pranks. Below, a giant dinosaur surprises some contestants:
These clips show just some of the best moments in a sometimes whimsical, sometimes depraved or sadistic, but always at the very least ... creative genre, in which Japan truly has no equal.
Bemused? Want more unbelievable sights from Japan? Look no further:
Associate Editor, Viral Content, The Huffington Post
14-year-olds go topless while parents are away
PUBLISHED: July 21, 2005 at 8:03 a.m. | UPDATED: August 17, 2016 at 7:55 a.m.
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Dear Amy: Saturday night my husband and I went out for dinner. When we came home around 9:30, my daughter had some friends over.
I found out that while we were gone my daughter and her friends all had their bathing suit tops off. Eight kids were at our house — three boys and the rest were girls.
My daughter and her friends are 14 and 15.
I have a rule that boys cannot be over when I am not home. Obviously, that rule was broken. But more upsetting is that these girls did not see what they did as wrong or that it could lead to other things.
My husband was not concerned, saying that they will experiment. I have a trust issue now. I have not told these girls’ parents yet and do not know if I should.
I found out about this because another mother heard her daughter talking to a friend about what happened at my house.
I tried talking to my daughter about the ramifications, but it was like talking to a brick wall.
She just said she would never do that again, which I do not believe.
Dear Perplexed: The fact that you and your husband are not presenting a united front about this is what allows your daughter to stonewall you. For girls, a lot of their feelings about their bodies and their sexuality come from the messages they receive from their dads.
Your husband is partially right — kids do experiment. But when kids experiment, it is up to the adults in their lives to explain our values and viewpoints. Girls, especially, need to be told that their bodies are not intended for the prurient enjoyment of 14-year-old boys. Unfortunately, they are surrounded by messages that tell them just the opposite.
That’s where the parents come in. These days it is more important than ever to demonstrate to boys and girls that if they don’t respect themselves and their own privacy, no one else will.
Of course you must contact all of these other parents (including the parents of the boys) to tell them what happened in your home.
Because your daughter showed such questionable judgment, you’re going to have to dismantle her brick wall, brick by brick — not by being punitive (because I don’t think that would work), but by spending a lot of time with her and teaching her how young women who respect themselves should behave.
You might want to give your daughter the book “Deal With It! A Whole New Approach to Your Body, Brain, and Life as a Gurl,” by Esther Drill, Heather McDonald and Rebecca Odes (1999, Pocket). This frank and funny book will give your daughter the information you and your husband seem unable to convey.
Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
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