Top 10 Spouse Secrets Finally Revealed

After decades of marriage counseling and covert pillow talk recordings, we've compiled the brutal truths partners will never admit to your face: At number 10 is "Your 'signature dish' tastes like regret and broken dreams," followed closely by "We've all faked at least one headache (and three vacations)." The list reveals that 78% of spouses have Googled "how to disappear" while you were explaining your fantasy football strategy, and that the cute nickname they use for you? It's what their ex called the dog. Number 5 exposes the universal lie "I'm listening" actually means "I'm mentally redesigning the living room to fit my escape tunnel," while number 3 confirms that yes, they do keep a secret spreadsheet comparing you unfavorably to their first love. The top revelation? That "for better or worse" vow was really just hoping you'd stop leaving beard trimmings in the sink. Marriage therapists warn these admissions could destroy relationships, but most partners report they'll just keep smiling while secretly resenting your laundry habits for another 30 years - after all, the alternative is splitting custody of the good TV.