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The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Posted March 23, 2018
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Reviewed by Matt Huston
Pornography use makes up approximately 13% of total Internet traffic (Ogas & Gaddam, 2011), which is, well, a lot. Most of us have watched online porn at some point; many are regular users.
So, let’s be frank, you probably watch pornography on occasion, too.
The dramatic uptake of digital technologies in recent years has led to massive increases in online pornography use. The accessibility, affordability, and anonymity are features that make it so easy to consume porn (Daneback et al., 2012). Websites provide immediate access to images, shorts, and full-length videos, usually free of charge.
Viewing porn is one of those behaviors that so many people engage in, but few discuss openly. There is still so much shame associated with it, and many oppose its use altogether.
Most people are able to regulate their use fairly well, perhaps turning to it on occasion, when they are alone or with a sexual partner.
But there are some who experience what is euphemistically called “problematic use.” Problematic use of online pornography involves:
There’s debate in the field about whether an individual can truly be "addicted." Porn use does not operate like a true addiction , which reflects tolerance, dependence, and withdrawal. But it can feel like an addiction, and it’s the subjective sense of an addiction that is important here.
The hallmark of problematic use is quite literally whether it is causing distress. If you have a ready and willing sexual partner but are turning consistently to porn instead, this may be a problem. If you find that you are seeking ever more intense levels of stimulation, more edgy stuff, and are getting bored with the usual fare, use might be problematic. Are you spending a lot of time searching for content for a sexual interest that can only be found online? Are you using porn compulsively when you are supposed to be doing something else altogether?
There are very few good studies that assess prevalence well. One exception is a study by Ross and colleagues in Sweden of 1,913 Internet users. The researchers found that 5% of women and 13% of men reported some problematic Internet sexual use, and 2% of women and 5% of men reported “serious problems.” They were asked:
Those who gave higher ratings across these items were those who were finding their porn use problematic.
So, technically, porn use likely is not addictive, but it can feel like it. If you are experiencing any of these issues and they are causing distress, seek help.
Daneback, K., Månsson, S., Ross, M. W., & Markham, C. M. (2012). The Internet as a source of information about sexuality. Sex Education, 12, 583-598.
Ross, M. W., Månsson, S., & Daneback, K. (2012). Prevalence, severity, and correlates of problematic sexual Internet use in Swedish men and women. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 41, 459-466.
Lucia O’Sullivan, Ph.D. , is a psychologist and director of the experimental psychology program at the University of New Brunswick.
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Psychology Today © 2022 Sussex Publishers, LLC
The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
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Like fat, salt and booze, masturbation is one of those touchy health-related topics for which the latest medical news always seem to contradict the advice of the past. Eat no fat! Or, just good fat – but not too much! But not too little, either! And hey, salt is a killer – but it can be deadly if you don't eat it! Such is the progress of science. Similarly, studies have long shown that masturbation is perfectly normal and can even be a physically healthy activity – in middle-aged men it cuts the risk of prostate cancer. It can also reduce anxiety, and thereby help restore stress-racked immune systems. And yet according to experts, there is now emerging evidence suggesting that overly frequent masturbation – aroused by the vast cornucopia of freely available porn we enjoy today – is leading to serious cases of erectile dysfunction (ED).
That may sound like anti-onanistic propaganda, but medical professionals say that masturbating too much is actually a pretty standard form of addiction, but it's worsened by pornography. "When people start watching porn, there is a huge flood of dopamine in the brain," explains Dr. Elizabeth Waterman, a psychologist at Morningside Recovery Center in Newport California. "Over time, the receptors that were once very sensitive become less sensitive, and normal physical intimacy does not produce enough dopamine to stimulate the dopamine receptors." In other words, the more porn you watch, the more – and harder and more graphic – porn you need in order to get it up. If the trend continues, men can find themselves physically unable to maintain an erection, much less enjoy sexual contact with another person.
Not surprisingly, porn-induced ED can create further performance-anxiety concerns, compounding into a problem that is both biological and psychological. "People can start developing real self-confidence issues," Dr. Waterman says. "They can feel irritable, sleepless, frustrated, anxious. One can lose relationships quite easily from it." According to Dr. Waterman, there isn't a magic number that indicates you are masturbating too frequently. Even masturbating every day isn't necessarily a problem; it's conditional – only if it's interfering with your work, your social life, or your sex life (i.e., erectile dysfunction) should you be concerned. Fortunately, if you do have an issue, the cure is simple: Stop watching porn and resist the urge to masturbate as much as possible. Within six to 12 weeks your brain will rebound to a more typical dopamine sensitivity (though recovery time varies). "Some people's brains reach homeostasis [or, physiological equilibrium] much quicker," Dr. Waterman explains. "Time is your best friend when it comes to reestablishing homeostasis in the brain."
The rub, as it were, is that during their recovery period, most men experience a libido flatline, possibly for up to several weeks depending on the severity of addiction. But Dr. Waterman assures that the effect is temporary and eventually passes. She advises that the key to recovering is holding yourself accountable, but also remembering that recovery is a process, so you shouldn't feel like a jerk if you aren't a complete saint. "If you do slip up, it's not the end of the world."
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7 BIG Signs You're Watching Waaay Too Much Porn
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By Sinclair Institute — Written on Jun 17, 2016
Article written by By Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD
Is porn an innocent pastime or an international obsession? According to an Extreme Tech report , 30 percent of all internet traffic involves browsers visiting pornographic websites. With the largest and most popular adult porn site getting 4.4 billion page views per month, singles and couples are spending a lot of time in the world of triple X.
Add to this the fact that, while a typical news site has an average visit of three to six minutes, the average amount of time spent on a porn site is 15 to 20 minutes , and this has people asking: How much is "too much" porn?
Regardless of how much time is devoted to XXX activities, individuals and couples may indulge in porn for a number of the same reasons. Among the more positive incentives are: enhancing masturbation , spicing up one's sex life, sharing intimate moments and stress relief.
Reasons that can be cause for concern include accessing porn when you're in a committed, but sexless relationship , or turning to porn because you're unable to become intimately involved with another human.
With therapists reporting an increased number of clients presenting porn-related problems (case in point: 50 percent of the divorce cases for 2002 involved porn), the impact of porn has been raising more and more concern. Professionals and lay people alike want to know if there is such a thing as too much porn . If so, what are some of the signs that you or your partner are too into it?
Some indicators that a porn habit is becoming problematic include the following:
You'd rather lose yourself in porn than be out socializing and meeting other people. You're excusing yourself from all sorts of activities or are becoming known for unexplained absences. Even if you do manage to get out with humans, you find yourself preoccupied with the porn the second you get home. During family and couple obligations, you find yourself concocting strategies for leaving as soon as possible.
2. You have an inability to be intimate with others.
You're becoming increasingly aware that porn is taking precedence over your desire and abilities to develop or cultivate a relationship with another. You're spending more time with pornography than socializing with and meeting other people. Overall, your porn obsession is starting to cause family, work, legal, and/or spiritual problems , especially as you're having more trouble accounting for your time.
While you were once open with your lover, you can now describe your interactions as ones defined by secrecy and dishonesty in trying to hide your passion for porn. Like the other 70 percent of people who keep their porn use a secret , you're going to great lengths to cover your tracks.
When questioned about your absences, activities or porn use and curiosities, you're willing to do and say anything as not to fess up and risk losing this now major part of your life.
4. You're only getting turned on to porn stars.
As your obsession with fantasy characters grows, you're finding it hard to get turned on to real people, at least beyond wondering what he'd look like naked or how good she'd look in a sexual position or act. If you're involved, you no longer consider your partner attractive — at least not sexually.
In fact, you think that there's something "wrong" with your partner for not looking or acting like a porn star . A major consequence: you're avoiding or are totally uninterested in having sex with your partner, and are not nearly as physically affectionate as you once were.
5. You're becoming increasingly critical of yourself.
You've become fixated on how you compare to porn stars. Are you as well hung? Are your breasts as big? Are you, generally, as attractive? You're objectifying yourself and others. In sizing yourself up against fantasy characters, you're making yourself miserable and sexually insecure in the process.
6. You have an inability to find anything outside of porn erotic.
Your sexual response and desire cannot be activated unless you're using porn, to the point that you may even be having problems reaching orgasm or attaining erection. When you do have sex, you may be rougher or more demanding, and/or using more degrading language than what is the norm for you.
Other factors that used to have you feeling ravenous, including romance and emotional closeness, don't elicit any kind of reaction from you. Frustrated, you'd rather lose yourself in porn than work on becoming present with and aroused by your partner or a non-pornographic stimulus.
7. You're dissatisfied with your sex life.
With your expectations around sex, lovers, and intimacy now warped, you're bored with your own reality. You need more and more stimulation to get sexually excited and experience any kind of release. You're preoccupied with porn and are emotionally distant with your lover. Your sole interest is anything that resembles pornography and its stars.
Even if none or most of these signs of "too much" porn use don't ring true for you, you may want to consider consulting a certified sex therapist or counselor if:
In assessing the situation, keep in mind that you can't put too much weight on any one factor. The cause for a sexual disorder, for example, can be due to a host of factors that have nothing to do with your porn use. You need to look at the bigger picture, including the label of "sex pervert" that society often puts on porn enthusiasts.
You may not have a problem or be consuming too much porn, but other people's issues with such erotica can be influencing how you view this form of erotica, whether as an occasional indulgence or hobby. "Too much" is ultimately very individual , with some people having no problems handling such materials at all.
This article was originally published at Sinclair Institute . Reprinted with permission from the author.
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