To Tight Pussy

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To Tight Pussy

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Jessica Migala has been a health, fitness, and nutrition writer for almost 15 years. She has contributed to more than 40 print and digital publications, including EatingWell, Real Simple, and Runner's World. Jessica had her first editing role at Prevention magazine and, later, Michigan Avenue magazine in Chicago. She currently lives in the suburbs with her husband, two young sons, and beagle. When not reporting, Jessica likes runs, bike rides, and glasses of wine (in moderation, of course). Find her @jlmigala or on LinkedIn.

It's not uncommon for a person to worry about how their vagina will be "too stretched out" or "will never be the same" after having a baby. But some people also wonder if they have the opposite problem: That they have a vagina that's too tight and unable to accommodate a large or even average-sized penis—leading to discomfort and pain during sex that can make enjoyable intercourse almost impossible.


In general, that's largely a myth. Fact is, your vagina is very stretchable. "Any vagina has the capacity to have elasticity. After all, a baby's head comes through there," said Lauren Streicher, MD , a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University's medical school and the medical director of the Northwestern Medicine Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause in Chicago.


Of course, that doesn't mean that the pain you feel during sex isn't real. According to the National Library of Medicine , painful intercourse—aka dyspareunia—is a common female health problem. During their lifetime, 10-28% of the population will report having painful sex.


So rather than assume your vagina is too tight and you can't do anything about it, it's time to address what might be causing you to experience pain instead of pleasure while getting it on. Here are possible four main causes to consider.


So many things can leave people high and dry during sex, and dryness is a major cause of pain during penetration. But what can cause vaginal dryness?


If you're taking antihistamines to dry out your sinuses due to allergies, like Benadryl, Allegra, or Zyrtec, these allergy meds can also dry you out down below. Talk to your healthcare provider about finding a different medication to help with your allergies that might be less likely to create a desert in your vagina.


What else can cause vaginal dryness? Foreplay helps lube up the vagina, so if you and your partner aren't allowing for enough warm-up time before the main event, you may need a little more kissing and touching for things to start flowing down there. If you decide foreplay isn't the issue, use lube. Super-slippery silicone lubricants are best, recommended Dr. Streicher.


Perimenopause and menopause can bring with them vaginal dryness, too. Thanks to normal hormonal changes during these life stages, vaginal tissue can thin out and become parched, making sex extremely uncomfortable. Surprisingly, though, the same problem can crop up in your 20s and 30s due to hormonal birth control, said Dr. Streicher. "While most women taking birth control pills will be fine, a small subset of women will develop thin dry vaginal tissue. Their doctor may tell them that they're young and nothing is wrong with them, but what they experience is excruciatingly painful," explained Dr. Streicher.


If you suspect your pain stems from a hormonal issue, tell your healthcare provider what you're experiencing and have them investigate. Fixing the problem could mean going on a different type of hormonal birth control or relying on a vaginal estrogen cream to rebuild elasticity in vaginal tissue.


In the past, if sex has been painful, your vagina may be conditioned to react by clamping down during penetration. Your brain says, nope, I don't want to feel that again . "A lot of times, it's the fear factor," said Dr. Streicher, and recommended that women take the penis out of the equation completely and practice with a dildo. "That can help you figure out if it's the guy, the size, or you," said Dr. Streicher.


And though rarer, the pain could be the result of a structural problem. According to Dr. Streicher, one woman she treated had been told by her doctor that her husband's penis was too big for her vagina. Turns out, she had an undetected vaginal septum—a wall of tissue inside the vagina— that had to be removed. "She's now fine," said Dr. Streicher. This is why pain during sex that doesn't get better with extra lube or foreplay and can't be connected to medications, needs to be evaluated by your healthcare provider.


Certain pelvic conditions can also cause pain during sex. Endometriosis and adenomyosis are similar conditions where pieces of the uterine lining—called endometrial tissue—adhere to other parts of the pelvic cavity or the muscular wall of the uterus. Fibroids are noncancerous growths in the uterus. And sometimes organs can "fall" or prolapse into the vagina. All of these conditions are potential causes of painful sex. Your healthcare provider will help you decide what treatment is best for you.


According to Johns Hopkins Medicine , sexually transmitted infections (STIs), like chlamydia and gonorrhea, can create vaginal irritation, which can be painful during intercourse. And the blisters that come with genital herpes can create pain during penetration. If you think you might have an STI, talk with your healthcare provider about the best course of action. Many times, an antibiotic will be prescribed, clearing the infection up within a couple of weeks.


If there seems to be no explanation for the pain, it could be vulvodynia. According to the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG), vulvodynia is pain around the vulva—the female genitals—that lasts for three months or longer, and is not caused by an infection, skin disorder, or other medical condition. This condition is often described as a burning or stinging sensation, irritated rawness, achiness, throbbing, or soreness. There may also be some swelling. Vulvodynia can be caused by damage to the nerves of the vulva, a genetic disorder, previous infections, inflammation of the vulva, or dysfunction of the pelvic floor muscles.


If you've been diagnosed with vulvodynia, research suggests that certain times of your cycle can cause vaginal pain. For example, in a 2022 study published in the Journal of Women's Health , researchers stated that 50% of the women in their study with vulvodynia reported changes in vulvar pain, depending on where they were at in their menstrual cycle; 60% of these women reported greater pain just before and during their period.


Depending on the cause of the vulvodynia, your healthcare provider may recommend physical therapy. This can include strengthening your pelvic floor muscles and training them to relax, trigger point therapy (a form of soft tissue massage), and modalities like electrical stimulation and ultrasound to help relieve pain. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a form of therapy that can help with stress reduction and changing patterns of thinking and behavior, giving you more control over the pain.


Sexual activities should be fun and pleasurable—not painful. While it might feel embarrassing to discuss, be honest with your partner and seek medical care to get to the bottom of what's causing the pain.


When the Vagina is Too Tight for Intercourse... Here Are 5 Unusual Causes
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If sex feels like pushing a steamboat into a car tunnel, you might be experiencing some of the following vaginal issues.
Vaginismus This sudden, involuntary tightening of the vaginal muscles upon penetration can result in extreme discomfort and pain during sexual intercourse. It generally occurs during a woman’s first sexual experience, but can also affect her after this point, particularly if she attempts intercourse when emotionally distressed.
Treatment Upon professional or self-diagnosis, this problem can be resolved with the gradual insertion of increasingly larger objects. At first, women are often instructed to touch an area as close to the vaginal opening as possible without any pain until they can insert a finger.
After this point, they might be offered cone-shaped inserts, which they will practice inserting for increasingly longer times. Eventually, they should be able to work their way up to painless intercourse.
Menopause Menopause induces dryness and thinning of the vaginal tissues as a result of a decrease in bodily estrogen levels, which can often lead to a sensation of “tightness” during sex.
Treatment Topical estrogen is often prescribed to assuage inadequate lubrication. Another drug, called ospemifene, behaves the way bodily estrogen does on the vaginal lining, but not on the breasts.
Therapies that don’t use medication include desensitization therap y , during which you learn how to relax your vaginal muscles to decrease pain, and cognitive behavioral therapy, which can also help amend thought patterns that exacerbate the feeling of tightness.
Endometriosis This is a condition in which tissue that resembles uterine lining grows on other organs such as the ovaries, fallopian tubes, or bowel. These abnormal growths can often cause a feeling of tightness or discomfort during sex.
Treatment Often, experimenting with different positions that put less pressure on problematic areas of the pelvis can assuage this symptom. Other actions your doctor might recommend you take include having a warm bath before sex, using lubrication, and extending foreplay.
Pelvic inflammatory disease Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) is an infection of the female reproductive organs that usually occur when bacteria that you are exposed to during sex spread from the vagina to the uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries. This condition can cause pain or bleeding during intercourse.
Treatment Your doctor will likely prescribe antibiotics that you must finish, even if you start to feel better before the course is up. After you are treated, make sure to use condoms during intercourse as this will decrease your risk of exposure to PID-causing bacteria in the future.
Psychogenic pain This disorder causes people to perceive pain without an identifiable stimulus. Although this condition is rare, it can be the trigger for feelings of tightness and pain during intercourse.
Treatment Psychogenic pain is often more difficult to treat than traditional, nociceptive pain. Usually, patients with this condition are prescribed antidepressants or non-narcotic painkillers (such as ibuprofen or acetaminophen), or are advised to seek psychotherapy.
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It is not unusual for a woman to experience vaginal bleeding after intercourse. In fact, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) claims that 63 percent of postmenopausal women experience vaginal dryness and vaginal bleeding during intercourse. While occasional light bleeding is not usually a cause for concern, certain risk factors…
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Not exactly, but there are reasons it might *feel* that way.
It’s a logical conclusion: If it hurts when a partner tries to put their penis or a toy inside of you, or if they can’t get all the way inside, then it must be a problem of tightness, right? Ehhh, not exactly.
There are several reasons for why you might feel like you’re too tight for vaginal penetration, and it’s actually a pretty common problem that gynecologists hear about. But it’s a misconception that feeling a sensation of tightness means you actually have less elasticity down there—and thinking this may prevent you from finding a real (and, in many cases, easy!) solution.
The truth is, vaginas are ridiculously stretchy, says ob-gyn Susan Khalil, MD , director of sexual health for the Mount Sinai Health System. Think about it: Lots of people push babies out of that tiny hole, so it’s gotta give.
So if it’s not a problem of stretch, what’s the issue? Well, there are a variety of factors that might be at play. For instance, “Certain medical conditions can mimic the feeling of tightness,” Dr. Khalil says.
Here are a few common reasons why it may feel as if your vagina is too tight for sex, plus how to find relief.
During menopause, your body experiences a drop in estrogen, which can lead to dryness and the thinning of vaginal tissues, the Mayo Clinic explains. As a result, you may feel a sensation of tightness or irritation during sex. This is something you should bring up with your doctor, who can recommend an over-the-counter vaginal lubricant , or possibly a prescription estrogen cream or hormone replacement therapy.
For some people, menopause messes with more than just lubrication. Sometimes a postmenopausal vagina also atrophies a little bit, Dr. Khalil says, meaning it literally gets more narrow. “And if they don’t have intercourse at all, it can become very uncomfortable,” she says.
Her recommendation? Masturbation . This way, you’re in total control and can gradually help stretch your vagina and make penetration feel more comfortable for you. If a larger toy is uncomfortable at first, you can practice with a series of vaginal dilators that will help your vagina stretch slowly over time.
Birth control, too, can sometimes cause a bit of hormonal upheaval for some people and cause dryness (and, in turn, painful sex ). If you just switched your BC and noticed feeling dry or “tight,” or if you have this issue at a particular time during the month, talk to your doctor about it so they can help you determine whether your birth control might be to blame.
Pregnancy and childbirth also involve hormonal changes that can lead to vaginal dryness and issues with painful sex. This is especially the case if you are breastfeeding, according to the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists (ACOG).
Or, if you’re seriously convinced your vagina is tighter after childbirth, it may not be in your head. Though this isn’t super common, Dr. Khalil says that some women who tear during childbirth get stitched up too tightly—meaning that in this one case, their vagina truly is too tight for sex. “Sometimes sutures are done too tightly [and] they’ll need a surgical procedure to fix it,” Dr. Khalil notes.
The same thing can happen if you’ve had a surgery in your genital area (with or without a baby involved), Dr. Khalil notes. But once your doctor goes back in and loosens the stitch, you should be good to go.
There’s a laundry list of of reasons for why your vagina may be producing less natural lubrication than it usually does: Maybe you’re going through menopause, you’re breastfeeding, your vagina is naturally dry, or you’re on medication (yup, like birth control) that messes with your lubrication.
Regardless of the reason, though, not having enough lubrication can make sex feel more painful and might make you think your vagina seems tighter, Dr. Khalil says. “I’ll have patients come in and they’ll say it really hurts to have sex,” she says.
Luckily, the immediate solution is pretty easy most of the time: Use a lubricant . Tbh, lubricant makes sex feel better for most people, but it’s especially helpful for people who are dealing with vaginal dryness. Keep in mind, using lube doesn’t actually fix the underlying issue at hand (say, finding a birth control that vibes better with your body), so you should still *always* bring it up with your doc if dryness is a problem for you.
Some people have a condition called vaginismus, which is when the muscles inside their vagina contract involuntarily. The muscle contraction makes it painful anytime something is inserted into the vagina; sometimes even tampon insertion is too much, according to the Merck Manuals .
Most of the time, someone who has vaginismus has it from the very first time they attempt to have penetrative sex. But in other cases it can develop later in life. For some, the cause behind vaginismus may be psychological or a result of an emotional trauma, the Merck Manual says.
While it may take some time to treat vaginismus, working with a pelvic floor physical therapist or gradually using larger and larger vaginal dilators can help, Dr. Khalil says. Working with a mental health professional may also help some individuals.
Whether you feel “tight” or something else, know that you deserve to feel pain-free down below during sex and everything else in life. So be your own health advocate and speak up—to both your partner(s) and your gynecologist.
“Your annual exam is more than a Pap smear ,” Dr. Khalil says. “It’s also an opportunity to get to the bottom of any sexual health concerns.”

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