To Have Private Conversation
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A: With kindergartners, I do a lot of quick check-ins during class time, but when a longer conversation is needed, I use the quiet corner in our classroom. It’s a small space set up with soft, comforting things (bean bag chair, stuffed animals)—specifically meant for children who need to calm down. If it’s not occupied, I’ll have a one-on-one meeting there.
A key to successful talks in this setting is to have them when the other children are occupied with independent work or play, such as during a choice time. Once everyone is settled, I invite the child I want to talk with to the quiet area. We sit so I’m facing out towards the class and the child is facing in, towards me. For a kindergartner, this arrangement feels quite private, while allowing me to keep an eye on the class.
Suzi Sluyter teaches kindergartners at King Open School in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
A: As a guidance counselor, I often helped teachers problem-solve with children. It’s hard to make progress unless the most important people—the child and the teacher—have had time to talk about what’s going on.
I enabled these conversations by letting teachers know I’d step into their classrooms and cover for them—for instance, by doing a read-aloud. If teachers needed a private place to meet with a child, I’d offer them my office.
Susan Titterton was a guidance counselor for sixteen years in Vermont and now coaches and trains teachers throughout New England.
A: When I needed to chat privately with a child or help a few students work out a problem together, I often did it during lunch or recess. Meeting outside of class time gave us more time to work on complicated issues and let me devote more energy and attention to the conversation. We’d do a walk-and-talk outside while I was on recess duty, or we’d have lunch in the classroom. Students usually appreciated this special attention, and setting aside a specific time for the talk gave everyone a chance to cool down and think about what they wanted to say.
Mike Anderson taught third, fourth, and fifth graders for fifteen years in Connecticut and New Hampshire. He joined NEFC as a full-time Responsive Classroom consultant in July 2008.
A: When I needed to have a private conversation with a child, I’d often give a choice of times: We could meet at lunch, before school started, or at the end of the day. Many children chose lunch or after-school, but for some, the beginning of the day was the best time.
Since at my school students weren’t allowed to enter the building early, I developed a system to let the arrival time staff know when it was all right to let a child come up to my classroom ten or fifteen minutes before school started. The day before our meeting, I’d give the child a colored index card. He or she would show the card to the person on duty, and that was the agreed-upon signal that the child had permission to go inside.
Gail Zimmerman has more than thirty years of experience as a teacher, reading specialist, and literacy coach in Boston, Massachusetts.
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What are good public places to have a private conversation?
Updated 1 year ago · Author has 1.5K answers and 4.9M answer views
What are good public places to have a private conversation?
Back in the day, in spy films/movies, there would often be a somewhat clichéd scene of a secret agent and his contact supposedly meeting accidentally in a park.
The reason for the accidental (deliberate) meeting in a place like this was allegedly because they couldn't be overheard either physically, such as someone listening at a door, or electronically, with recording/bugging equipment, hidden in an office or hotel room.
Obviously there is so much sophisticated ‘listening-in’ technology available now, a conversation in a park can be hea
What are good public places to have a private conversation?
Back in the day, in spy films/movies, there would often be a somewhat clichéd scene of a secret agent and his contact supposedly meeting accidentally in a park.
The reason for the accidental (deliberate) meeting in a place like this was allegedly because they couldn't be overheard either physically, such as someone listening at a door, or electronically, with recording/bugging equipment, hidden in an office or hotel room.
Obviously there is so much sophisticated ‘listening-in’ technology available now, a conversation in a park can be heard/recorded from some distance away.
Having said that, assuming your private conversation is of a personal nature rather than an exchange of state secrets, then a public park is probably as good a place as any.
Related Questions (More Answers Below)
What are some great places (generally) for a private conversation between two people?
Is a private conversation in a public place still private?
What's a private place that I can have a phone conversation without anyone overhearing me?
Is it acceptable to tell a stranger to go away if they use a strange conversation in public?
Where is the best place to meet in public but still be able to have a completely confidential conversation?
Answered 1 year ago · Author has 1.5K answers and 1.7M answer views
In a park on a park bench. On a trail in the forest. In a square. In a marked. In a restaurant or a bar. On a sidewalk. In a backstreet or alley. In a church, mosque, temple or synagogue or a shop. In a mall or at the cinema, conference room or Office.
As long as you both keep your voices down - anywhere can be a good place.
Answered 5 years ago · Author has 710 answers and 6.8M answer views
How do you approach people in public places if you want to meet people?
Originally Answered: How do you approach people in public places if you want to meet people ?
In medical practice, we rationalize our actions and treatment options depending on the situation and also the person concerning.
Consider there are three patients, one of them is a kid, other middle aged man, and a pregnant lady. Three of them present with the same infection, but the three of them don't get the same treatment.
And, this isn't the same for all situations too. It depends; it varies, and most importantly it isn't 'equal'.
You will first need to analyze the situation around you and the person who you want to approach. Depending on that, your means will cha
In medical practice, we rationalize our actions and treatment options depending on the situation and also the person concerning.
Consider there are three patients, one of them is a kid, other middle aged man, and a pregnant lady. Three of them present with the same infection, but the three of them don't get the same treatment.
And, this isn't the same for all situations too. It depends; it varies, and most importantly it isn't 'equal'.
You will first need to analyze the situation around you and the person who you want to approach. Depending on that, your means will change. One tactic won't work in every situation and you will have to learn to adapt as per the need arises.
If you can make a straight line out of random points, you have a clear path to follow and finally reach your destination. And, unless you can make a head and tail out of the situation, you won't get to the end of it which is to successfully interact with the stranger after approaching him.
You work your legs or your mouth; walk through the distance or spill some words. They can be stupid or wise and still you will manage to get a word or two out of them, if not positive at the very least negative.
But, you can avoid those negative responses, if your agenda is clean and straight-cut. Right to the point.
Breeze through your way, lay out what you wanted to say : sugar-coat it or just as it is, depends on the person you are dealing with. If it is to flirt, flirt. If it is to genuinely ask something, ask. Do what you have to do with decency.
You either get accepted or rejected. Make sure to embrace it with grace.
There isn't a place for egoism when it comes to strangers. You don't know them; they don't know you. There aren't any expectations to hold on to, and you better be in your right state of mind to know and realize that fact. They don't owe you anything just because you took the incentive to take the first ugly step.
Naturally, I cannot tell you how to approach and what all to do, but I sure can tell you how not to and what not to do.
You don't act like a stalker. You don't scare away the person. You don't make them uncomfortable with your behavior. You don't threaten them to agree with you. You sure as hell don't harass them.
You do all that in the 'not-to-do' list, you can kiss your mission goodbye.
Now for the final blast. You don't make friends with random by-passers unless you connect with them. If there isn't a connection, the physical appearances or acts don't last long.
That brings us back to, connect the dots. Connect with that person.
Answered 5 years ago · Author has 1.1K answers and 4.4M answer views
Why should smoking in public places be illegal?
The real trouble is that anti-smoking groups and organizations managed to extend smoking bans to *all* public places, no exception. Never mind if it is truly a "public place" (where people usually *must* go) or a privately-owned place with public service - where anyone, as a member of "the public", may *choose* to go.
Privately owned places have owners who invested their hard-earned money in their businesses, took financial risks, and have their monthly bills to pay. Treating all those businesses as one (that is, under the anti-smokers demands) is silly and has ruined several of them - the Engl
The real trouble is that anti-smoking groups and organizations managed to extend smoking bans to *all* public places, no exception. Never mind if it is truly a "public place" (where people usually *must* go) or a privately-owned place with public service - where anyone, as a member of "the public", may *choose* to go.
Privately owned places have owners who invested their hard-earned money in their businesses, took financial risks, and have their monthly bills to pay. Treating all those businesses as one (that is, under the anti-smokers demands) is silly and has ruined several of them - the English pubs post-2007 comes to mind.
Running a fancy tea-house, mainly attended by health-conscious "soccer moms" is *not*, by any account, the same as running a shady bar with a pool table, attended by not-so-health-conscious people who just want to have a few (or one too many) drinks while smoking a cigarette or playing pool. One size does not fit all.
I find it hard to understand how anti-smokers never got their petty, vengeful heads wrapped around this simple idea:
- Does an owner have the fancy tea-house with 80% of non-smoking patrons? Let him decide, by his own will (not because he *must*) to have a non-smoking venue. The anti-smoker will feel comfortable there, and the owner will surely welcome his business.
- Does an owner have the bar, with 80% of smoking patrons? By all means, for the sake of his business, give him the *freedom* to choose his *own* business model, that is, a smoking-friendly venue, so that he can welcome *other people*. That owner needs the business to survive, it's his only income, and he should not be *forced* by a draconian law to antagonize 80% of his patrons. A simple "smoking allowed" sign at the door will warn the anti-smoker that he should not go there. He would not like to be there anyway, since there are "nasty", "dangerous" fumes in the air, nor is he *forced* to go there. (And besides, who needs an anti-smoker entering a "smoker's den", in full knowledge that smoking is allowed, only to later start rumbling about the smoke, bothering everyone - mostly smokers - with *unwanted* preachings about cigarette smoke? How is this less rude than smokers entering non-smoking places and bothering everyone with their unwanted cigarette smoke?)
The findings published in the EPA report (usually well accepted amongst anti-smokers) point to a 19% increase in lung cancer caused by SHS - and that's for a lifelong, working exposure (around 40 years, 8h/day). How much exactly is 19%? That's one additional case in 1000 people, considering that all "non-tobacco" related causes (pollution, genetics, asbestos, diet...) account for 0.4%.
One additional case. For each thousand people. For an exposure of 40 years. Every single day. That hardly seems reason enough to force anything on places where people *choose* to be.
Another way to look at this: cancers caused by SHS are only a quarter of cancers caused by pollution, asbestos, genetics, etc, combined.
London has been considered one of the cities in Europe with the highest levels of air pollution. Considering that:
- SHS indoors is considered a problem by many people, but it is easily avoidable (and usually avoided) by non-smokers,
then I would suppose an anti-smoker who never smoked is *more* likely to get lung cancer from air pollution, than from SHS. And yet, we do not see those people crying for a ban of cars in cities. We do not see them overly vocal about limiting traffic.
Not at all. Their greatest concern, the reeeeeeal issue was about people who think differently from them, having a smoke in English pubs. Inside, where tobacco smoke could not possibly harm them. It could not, because anti-smokers did not even go there, anyway. If they did go there, to replace the smokers they managed to kick out (now that they had the pubs juuuuust the way they *demanded*), then not so many pubs would have closed their doors.
Of course, many of the most rabid anti-smokers who supported the bans do not feel any regret about their actions shutting down businesses and kicking people to unemployment. After all, those places were "only" gathering points for filthy, uneducated smokers. No harm done in their book.
Answered 5 years ago · Author has 1.9K answers and 5.3M answer views
What are ways to start engaging conversation with strangers in public?
I genuinely believe that good conversation is rarely about what you are saying but mostly about how you interact and get on together.
I would say that the first move probably needs to be a question. That's something to get you off and running. Pick up on something that you can both see in front of you, in Britain we always talk about the weather. The key is to say something that will get you more than a yes or no answer - something that will give you a back and forth.
What you need is a practical plan and here it is:
Be genuinely more interested in others than yo
I genuinely believe that good conversation is rarely about what you are saying but mostly about how you interact and get on together.
I would say that the first move probably needs to be a question. That's something to get you off and running. Pick up on something that you can both see in front of you, in Britain we always talk about the weather. The key is to say something that will get you more than a yes or no answer - something that will give you a back and forth.
What you need is a practical plan and here it is:
Be genuinely more interested in others than you are in yourself. Not just pretending to be interested for your own ends....genuinely interested. If you are not then leave people alone and don't pester them.
Forget about being judgemental. It takes all sorts and wisdom resides in the strangest places and amongst the least obvious places. Everyone has lessons to teach and it is fun learning them.
And remember people are both most interesting and most interested when they are talking about themselves.
If you feel like you have nothing interesting to offer yourself then develop your role as person that other people feel good to be around and are happy to confide in.
One good practical solution is to think like a news reporter and imagine that you have to take the basics of a conversation with a new person into a story you can tell your readers.
You need to know Who did what in your conversation? What happened? When did it take place? Where did it take place? Why did the key events happen? And lastly, how did the events you are recounting happen?
Once you have all that you need to work out what the most exciting part of theconversation was (what is the hook for your readers) and how you should tell the story to keep the readers reading right to the end.
You can get the picture full here:
Five Ws
If you can learn the core skills of listening and telling interesting stories you'll be a long, long way down the road to becoming a whole new vibrant you.
Updated 3 years ago · Author has 111 answers and 623.3K answer views
What is the most awkward conversation in a public place you have had?
My husband was out of town for more than two weeks. I wanted to watch this particular movie but I had no one to accompany me. (My friends who had already watched the movie had advised me to go with my husband only, with parents it will be embarrassing.)
So, I decided to go alone for the movie. I had to drop my daughter at her day care and go for a morning show.
While we were getting ready, my tiny smartie sensed that her mother is definitely not going for her work but somewhere else. She insisted on accompanying me. All my efforts of convincing
My husband was out of town for more than two weeks. I wanted to watch this particular movie but I had no one to accompany me. (My friends who had already watched the movie had advised me to go with my husband only, with parents it will be embarrassing.)
So, I decided to go alone for the movie. I had to drop my daughter at her day care and go for a morning show.
While we were getting ready, my tiny smartie sensed that her mother is definitely not going for her work but somewhere else. She insisted on accompanying me. All my efforts of convincing her to go to her day care went in vain.
Finally I thought, she is too young to understand anything in the movie, she can accompany me and enjoy her popcorn sitting besidees me.
We went. Except for few front rows the theatre was full. Since I had only one ticket, we went ahead and sat on two of the empty chairs.
Movie started. During the movie when I saw my daughter smiling in amusement and enjoying her popcorn, I said to myself that it wa
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