Tits At Scool

Tits At Scool
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Not very scholastic, but invigorating humping
When a popular series like this drags on for 18 editions, you don't expect much more than the same-ole, and that's what you get here. Cast's enthusiasm puts the pointless spectacle into the winning column for all-sex enthusiasts. Of course Lisa Ann is a sure path to victory once she's been cast and signed on the dotted line. Her segment is cheaply done, on a phony-baloney prison set as she's attempting to teach prisoners in stir. Once the warden and some extras have left, Lisa's left behind to be gang-raped by three seasoned porno studs: Sean Michaels, James Deen and Erik Everhard, who've racked up at least 4,000 screen credits between them. Since Lisa acquiesces after a minute or two it doesn't count as rape, in porn terms. Other segments are hardly in this A-list league, but have their sexy and silly moments. Two of the actresses are identical in type: Veronica Vice and Madison Fox, though Fox is sort of a plain-Jane. Vice, teamed with teacher Keiran Lee on a school outing, is terrible at reciting dialog, and properly fits the industry "model" category rather than thespian. Bruce Venture is 100% unconvincing as a teacher reciting stuff about explorer Roald Amundsen, but soon humping Audrey Bitoni. This turns out to be role- playing, but he's still cast as a teacher. Monique Alexander always adds a touch of class as after her Nina Hartley-look breast augmentation (results make it look like they used the same surgeon), and brightens up a particularly stupid (and cheap) vignette. She's reading a romance novel in the library, and Ramon Nomar materializes in a funny-looking outfit as supposedly an incarnation of Don Juan, to hump her amidst the stacks. Brazzers named this episode "Dreaming of the Don", an unfortunate title that conjured up the Mafia for me. Script oddly was on the money casting Franceska Jaimes as a sexy teacher from Colombia, where the actress was born. Xander Corvus, with long, curly hair for a change, tells his buddies how he humped this girl on a Latin American vacation, and sure enough the same girl appears as their new teacher (and he humps her again). I truly detest porn parodies, yet wonder why no one ever cast her as Sofia in a "Modern Family" ripoff. Cuban-born Luna Star has already been tapped for that assignment, a poor choice.
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Effective scenes but unfair to extras
This compilaton of material from Brazzers' jail-bait website features dozens of extras in NonSex roles, but unfortunately none of them are credited on screen. Fans couldn't care less, as the XXX talent perform their sex worker assignments with aplomb. Poorest taste comes in the vignette starring Austin Kincaid as a teacher at Brazzers College of Knowledge, dishing out misogynistic drivel to a class of eager co-eds. At one point the extras get to suck on dildos as part of the learning, but that is not hardcore sex so they don't get an acting credit. Exception is cute brunette Mindy Main who gets to move on to demonstrate sex with Jordan Ash, and after the other classmates exit, has a three-way with Ash and Kincaid. An overabundance of blonadge occurs in a scene featuring Rhylee Richards and Abbey Brooks as teacher and student respectively, with the twist that the kid has the bigger boobs. Their three-way features Tommy Gunn, way hammier than usual in yet another burlesque-type sketch. Opening vignette was the most invigorating for me, by dint of starring Jenna Presley as a student called on the carpet by Dean York (poor acting by an uncredited extra), and forced to take under wing a Swedish exchange student named Sven Andersson. She humps Johnny Sins and the punch line to this scene is more than obvious from the git-go.
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Followed by Big Tits at School 4 (2008)
For the third edition of this early Brazzers series (since discontinued by the new regime at the label), a fine cast saves rather lame situations. Director Brett Brando takes the rap according to the revealing clapperboards in the "making of" short subject. Brandy Talore is the titular star (couldn't resist punning) playing opposite Jayden Jaymes in a typical 2 on 1 gang-up on Rocco Reed - cheerleaders humping the opposing college football team's mascot. Many extras go unbilled (as usual) in a corny revenge vignette, as plain Jane with glasses Melissa Lauren gets back on the classmate who dissed her via a 5 years after class reunion. It's Reed again in a different role. For the older generation, the great Lezley Zen is a professor who gets sexually blackmailed by way-overage student Keiran Lee, who's taken incriminating pictures of Zen stripping at a bachelor party. Big- breasted Angelina Valentine takes it out on the principal over a school dress code issue, demonstrating laudable deep-throat technique. Ricki White sports way too much makeup as a student needing a ride home who accepts a cream-pie from nerdy Ralph Long. And the bonus segment is trite locker room humping for lesser-known actress Carmen McCarthy, with Keiran doing the honors once again, after some very poor improvised dialog. s
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