Tips For Deep Throat
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Medically reviewed by Jennifer Litner, LMFT, CST — Written by Aly Walansky — Updated on January 27, 2021
Deepthroating can feel super intimidating. It might seem like the Mt. Everest of sex techniques.
But if you want to learn this all-the-way-down blowjob variation, you absolutely can — with a few handy tips and some practice, of course.
This is one skill to try only when you’re ready. Don’t feel pressured — by your partner or a scene from your favorite porn flick — to try deepthroating.
And if you change your mind mid-attempt, that’s totally OK. All sexual acts should be consensual and safe the whole time.
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Going down all the way puts you up against one major obstacle: your gag reflex. It’s there for a reason: to prevent you from inhaling food into your lungs. One way to overcome this reflex is to practice on a toy.
“Choose a silicone, realistic dildo — something as close as you can get to the real thing. Repeatedly stick it down your throat — try holding it there,” says Bethany Ricciardi, a sex and relationship expert with TooTimid.
“Move it in and out, all around, and even try swallowing around it. Each time you feel that gag start to kick in, stop and try to take a second to suppress it,” Ricciardi says.
The more you practice, the more likely you are to get past that gagging urge.
“You may find it easier to be on your knees, or you can try leaning your head off the edge of the bed, which can help open the throat,” shares sexpert Antonia Hall.
“Keep a moistened grip on the bottom of the penis by the testicles for greater control,” she says — especially while you’re getting comfortable with deepthroating.
“Open your mouth and throat as wide as possible, flattening your tongue against the floor of the mouth and stretching your neck as long as possible,” Hall adds.
If your gag reflex is an issue, inhale while the penis is going in and exhale while it’s coming out. You’ll need to breathe out of your nose while your mouth is full.
Keep in mind that the gag reflex is reminding you to breathe. The trick is to relax enough to manage it without completely suppressing it.
“If it’s too hard, try and find a nice rhythm that allows you to take little breaths out as he slides out of your throat, and hold it while he is down in your throat,” says Ricciardi.
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If you’re feeling anxiety about deepthroating — like, you’re wracked with the fear that you’ll choke — it’s worth taking a minute beforehand to relax.
“For me, I definitely think a glass of wine helps to ease the anxiety,” says adult star Daizha Morgann. It’s actually not the wine that’s doing it, but rather a compound in it called resveratrol which may play a role in helping relieve anxiety, according to a research review with mice.
If you’re not into liquid courage, gearing up with a little meditation, deep breathing, or ASMR may help.
Drinking lots of water makes oral sex more comfortable. It keeps your mouth moist — a key to oral of any kind.
“Dry mouth, also known as xerostomia, can vary in cause and severity, but even something simple like too much caffeine and not enough water in your system can reduce your saliva production and cause a parched feeling,” Salyers says.
If you’re icked out by spit, now’s the time to learn to embrace it.
“Your partner will probably think it’s sexy — use it to your advantage and let the spit help the penis slide in and out of your mouth,” Ricciardi says.
“I personally love to take shots of lemon juice beforehand,” says Morgann. “It makes me drool way more, and makes it easier to take it ALL in.”
The American Dental Association says that your dentist may not love what the citrus does to your tooth enamel, but this is a special-occasion kind of adventure anyway. According to a small 2015 study, lemon juice and yogurt have both been shown to keep you salivating.
“When it comes to deepthroating, you have to look at your teeth as swords,” says Ember Snow, adult performer and cam star. Stab your partner with them, and you won’t get a chance for a repeat performance.
“Sheathe those swords when you slide the penis into your mouth. Once you can do that, step it up a notch by sticking your tongue out,” Snow says.
If you’re having trouble mastering a breathing rhythm, stop to inhale.
“If you have to, just take a break every 10 seconds to catch your breath and then keep going,” Ricciardi says. “Make sure the person receiving oral is respectful to you and can understand the difficulty of the task.”
They need to be patient too. That way, there’s no pressure or anxiety to perform. There’s always another day to try new things.
Deepthroating may conjure up images of porn, but it’s also very intimate. You’re basically giving deep sexual pleasure to your partner by making love to them with your mouth and throat.
“There’s often an element of surrendering to one’s partner by the giver and a sense of power and control by the person receiving,” Hall says.
“The receiver will experience the intimate depth of the person’s mouth and the back of the throat, which is soft and feels particularly good against the tip of the penis,” Hall adds.
Eye contact can go a long way here.
No, you definitely don’t have to swallow, but it can be sexy and actually an advantage. “If you don’t like the taste or sensation of them coming in your mouth, you won’t feel it happening!” Ricciardi says.
Deepthroating to completion and swallowing while they’re still down there is definitely a skill — an advanced one. But beginners can always work their way up if it’s your goal.
Another more advanced technique that you can try is to bring in some ball play. “If you’re kneeling in front of your partner, and they’re deep inside your throat, you’re in a perfect position to stick your tongue out and lick their balls,” Ricciardi says.
“You’ll want to keep the penis deep. Don’t move it in and out, but continue deepthroating while licking!” Ricciardi says. You can always massage the testicles with your hands or reach up and grab their nipples for extra stimulation as well.
There’s definitely an art to deepthroating. But with a little bit of practice and a few tricks, you can get all Linda Lovelace (look her up) on your partner, and earn your place as a superstar in the sack.
Aly Walansky is a New York-based lifestyle writer. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @alywalansky.
Last medically reviewed on January 26, 2021
Dry mouth? Don't delay treatment. (2011).
fda.gov/consumers/consumer-updates/dry-mouth-dont-delay-treatment
Hall A. (2018). Personal interview.
Morgann D. (2018). Personal interview.
Murugesh J, et al. (2015). Effect of yogurt and pH equivalent lemon juice on salivary flow rate in healthy volunteers — An experimental crossover study.
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4701165
Ricciardi B. (2018). Personal interview.
Salyers S. (2018). Personal interview.
Sivakumar S, et al. (2020). Physiology, gag reflex.
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK554502
Snow E. (2018). Personal interview.
Top 9 foods that damage your teeth. (n.d.).
mouthhealthy.org/en/nutrition/food-tips/9-foods-that-damage-your-teeth
Zhu X, et al. (2019). The antidepressant- and anxiolytic-like effects of resveratrol: Involvement of phosphodiesterase-4D inhibition.
sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S002839081930139X?via%3Dihub
Medically reviewed by Jennifer Litner, LMFT, CST — Written by Aly Walansky — Updated on January 27, 2021
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© 2021 Greatist a Red Ventures Company. Our content does not constitute a medical consultation. See a certified medical professional for diagnosis.
© 2021 Greatist a Red Ventures Company. Our content does not constitute a medical consultation. See a certified medical professional for diagnosis.
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I love to give my boyfriend head. Not to brag, but I am pretty good at what I am doing. Despite a strong gag reflex, I get good results. He has hinted that he wants me to try deep-throating. In the porn I’ve watched it looks pretty intense. Any tips for a first-timer? — the Shallow
I respect your willingness to swallow your pride, so to speak, and come at this with an open mind (and gullet). As you seem to already know, the gag reflex tends to be the biggest inhibitor of deep throat technique.
Also known as the pharyngeal reflex or laryngeal spasm, the gag reflex is the contraction of the back of the throat that occurs when triggered by an object touching the roof of the mouth, back of the tongue, tonsil area or the back of the throat. It is meant to prevent things from going down your throat that aren’t supposed to be there, and to stop you from choking. The unfortunate truth is that our throats are not designed to swallow dicks. That said, some people have it easier than others in this category. Studies show that 37 percent of people do not have a gag reflex. On the other end of the spectrum, 10 to 15 percent of people have a hypersensitive gag reflex (HGR). Regardless of where you fall, you can learn how to deep throat if you care to. Consider these tips and then dive right in.
There are throat training exercises you can do to help desensitize your gag reflex. Keep in mind, this training must take place over time in order to be effective. Pick a phallic shaped object, starting with something small like a toothbrush or your finger, and slowly move the object toward the back of your throat. When you feel yourself starting to gag, stop and try to relax while taking deep breaths in order to suppress your gag reflex. Try to hold it there for 10 Mississippi’s.
The more you practice this, the sooner you will see improvements. Once you are able to hold it there for the full 10 seconds, experiment with moving the object in and out slowly. This may stimulate your gag reflex even more. Make sure to keep breathing. Once you have conquered this with a small object, work your way up to a dildo. Hot tip: Do not practice this with a banana. It could break off into your throat and cause you to choke, which would be a very embarrassing way to go.
Positions that create a straight line from mouth to throat, allowing the penis to go there, are ideal. There are a few positions that are particularly good for this type of sword swallowing endeavor.
Your partner lies on his back with you on your side which allows you to be in control regarding how far you can take him into your throat.
Some deep throaters swear by 69.
On your knees. Some say this allows your throat to open up more than if you are laying on your back.
Lie on your back, no pillows beneath your head, and elevate your legs. Lifting your legs can alter your spine’s alignment so that your throat and mouth are in a straight line.
Try lying on your back with your head hanging off the bed. Please note this position requires enormous trust and communication with your partner beforehand, because you are in a submissive position and not in control of what is happening to you.
Whatever position you try, one of the most important things is that you are able to feel comfortable, safe, and relaxed with your partner. Feeling pressured or scared, besides creating a very negative experience for you, will lead to you tensing up the muscles in your jaw and your throat which makes it less likely that you will get the results you were hoping for. Coming up with a signal that lets your partner know to stop is of the utmost importance, as is open communication any time sexual experimentation is going down.
Creating optimal breathing opportunities and using breath to help you to relax are important ingredients for success. Stuffed up with a head cold? Wait until your sinuses are cleared out, then try.
Try experimenting with your breathing. Inhale as you slide him out, using that moment to take a breath. Try the reverse as well, inhale as he is going in and exhale as he is going out. Many experts recommend sticking your tongue out or flattening it in order to allow the penis to slide further down the throat. Keep in mind that this leaves your soft palate exposed and available to poking and prodding which is likely to trigger that gag reflex.
Go in hydrated like you are about to run a marathon. Dehydration is your enemy. You need saliva to do a good job. Putting some lube on your lips or on him can allow your mouth to go up and down smoothly which helps the whole process. If you are able to bring his penis into your mouth far enough, the back of your throat will begin to lubricate with a thick saliva.
There are many different tricks that are recommended to enhance your deep throat technique. They range from old wives’ tales to more scientifically-based recommendations.
Humming: This can be effective because you are essentially lifting up your soft palate, which is where your gag sensitivity lies.
Accupressure: Squeezing your thumb in your left fist or pinching the fleshy skin between your thumb and index finger, known as the Hegu point, are both said to reduce gag feelings.
Use your tongue to block the back of your throat. This creates a pillow-like cushion for him to thrust into (and protects your gag zone).
Fake it by wrapping your hands around his girth, in front of your lips, so your hand feels like an extended mouth.
In order to feel safe and have a great experience, talk it out first. Make an ejaculation plan in advance. Are you comfortable swallowing? How do you want to be warned that he is about to cum — and where do you want it to go? Most importantly, like any sex act, this should be about wanting it. You should never feel pressured or coerced. With that? Your far from the shallow now.
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Tips For Deep Throat
